Complex Blog » Madden http://www.complex.com/blogs Buy. Collect. Obsess. The original buyer's guide for men. Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:35:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 Celebrate Madden Day! The 8 Worst Types of Madden Players http://www.complex.com/blogs/2009/08/14/celebrate-madden-day-the-8-worst-types-of-madden-players/ http://www.complex.com/blogs/2009/08/14/celebrate-madden-day-the-8-worst-types-of-madden-players/#comments Fri, 14 Aug 2009 21:46:00 +0000 donniek http://www.complex.com/blogs/?p=54337 lead12
Madden Day is finally here, which means that our next few months are about to be filled with marathon sessions of Madden 10 (EA Sports). Early reviews are touting the game as awesome and fun—but really, what the fuck did you expect? It’s Madden, son. Madden!!! This year, EA has added a dope online franchise mode, meaning that instead of geeking out by yourself on the living room couch…well, you’ll still be geeking out by yourself on the living room couch, but at least you’ll be connecting with real-life opponents via the Internet. And we all know playing Madden is like having sex—it can be pretty fun solo but nothing beats testing your skills with a real-life human.

Of course, not all Madden opponents are created equal, and over the years we’ve identified recurring archetypes of dickhead players. Here’s our list of the 8 worst types of Madden competitors. If you fit one of these profiles, then please put the controller down before you come fuck with us…

maddenaudible

CAPTAIN AUDIBLE
• Relax on the shifting, homie. What are you doing over there, dialing international numbers?

maddenconservative

MR. CONSERVATIVE
• Punts on 4th and 1, runs out the clock when he’s winning. This is a game, dude; who is you, Marty Schottenheimer?

maddenragequit

xXRAGEQUITXx
• The online dickhead whose cheap tactics and mic abuse are only outdouched by the fact that he’ll log off once he’s behind.

maddenmoney

One-Trick Pony
• He’s got one “money play” that he repeats over and over and over (and over and over) again. Real fun, fuck boy.

maddenreckless

MR. RECKLESS
• The opposite of Mr. Conservative: The dude who goes for it on 4th and 20 from his own goal-line and throws into triple-coverage with the lead. Who is you, Steve Spurrier?

maddenglory

THE GLORY HUNTER
• He’s always played the Steelers. Except last year, when he was the Giants. And the year before that, when he was the Colts…

maddenblame

THE BLAME GAME
• Yo, on the real: Calling little animated football dudes “faggot” ain’t gonna magically make them play better. Hate the player—i.e. yourself, dickhead—not the game.

maddennoob

THE NOOB
• How is you 26 years old and never played a game of Madden in your life? Is you a female or somethin’?

]]> http://www.complex.com/blogs/2009/08/14/celebrate-madden-day-the-8-worst-types-of-madden-players/feed/ 14 Throwin’ Up Hand Signs http://www.complex.com/blogs/2008/08/12/throwin-up-hand-signs/ http://www.complex.com/blogs/2008/08/12/throwin-up-hand-signs/#comments Tue, 12 Aug 2008 23:50:07 +0000 Joe http://www.complex.com/blogs/2008/08/12/throwin-up-hand-signs/ brasil-08110801.jpg
Nothing beats watching the Brazilian women's volleyball team throwing up behind-the-back signals at the Olympic games. [Bastardly]

The Madden curse lives on…sort of. [Das Gamer]

We're surprised this couple made it through this bike stunt alive. [Double Viking]

Today didn't suck thanks to the daily snapshot. [CoedMag]

Lil Wayne’s Pussy Monster track finally hits the blogs. [Nah Right]

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With the release of Madden 09, today marks the 20th anniversary of the hugely popular NFL video game series. If you're serious about the game that has kept male procrastination steady year in and year out, we're guessing you've already unwrapped the plastic on your copy.

While the world enjoys this year's edition, we teamed up with Fiyastarter.com to choose the most dominant players in the history of football video games. Check out who made our all-lifetime team…

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