Complex Blog » Lily Allen

A Brief History of White Girl Drug Dealers

Bradley — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 21:36:30 +0000

This past Tuesday, former mountain biking world champion Melissa “Missy” Giove was arrested when nearly 400 pounds of marijuana was seized from her truck and home outside of Saratoga Springs New York. We feel for you, Missy. But how did you get caught? White girl drug dealers are never supposed to get caught: the cops let you get past road blocks, you’re rarely suspected for more than accessory, and you kill it because everyone would rather buy drugs from a nice-smelling, soft woman than some sketchy dude in a back alley who sweats a lot. Well, on second thought, Missy doesn’t look so soft or particularly nice-smelling. Did we mention she’s a mountain biker?

But there are a bunch of white girl drug dealers who do look mad soft and nice smelling that we’ve got love for. Hit the jump for Our Five Favorite White Girl Drug Dealers, both real and imagined…

JULIA DIACO
• Julia Diaco was the dream weed/coke hookup/girlfriend. This Jersey girl went to NYU, slung out of her dorm, and had a budding singing career before a bunch of narcs took it all away in 2004. Ah, we can picture the 5 A.M. bouts of screaming, rolling around in money and driving all over the city in that hired car like it was yesterday. Julia, let us know if you get the ring moving again, we’d love to be your first customer, again.

LILLY ALLEN
• The pop starlet told NME that she dabbled in selling ecstasy in Ibiza when she was 15, but that she “Did not excel…I was terrible at it. Golden rule with drug-dealing; don’t get too enthusiastic with your own merchandise.” Wise words. We’d pay a little extra to have Lily as “our guy” just ’cause it would be so awkwardly hilarious to have a hollow-faced celebrity roll by with the night’s twenty bag.

MARY LOUISE PARKER/NANCY BOTWIN
• Just in case you haven’t noticed, we don’t really draw a line between real life and TV over here. Nancy Botwin can get us hooked up on MILF weed any day. Mix in a dose of that promiscuity, and not only does she have us tuning in every Monday, but we’ve got the celly phone book opened up just in case she decides to go real life with it.

KATIE MORGAN
• You might have missed out on the 100 pounds of marijuana that porn star Katie Morgan got caught with trying to smuggle across the U.S.-Mexico border, but you’ve probably caught her on HBO or those “special sites” you check at lunch. Katie gave up selling weed to focus on selling sex and clearing her sizable bail. Would she have been a dope weed hookup? Yes. Would you rather see her have sex? Maybe/probably.

CLAIRE DANES and KATE BECKINSALE
• Yes, we’ve seen Brokedown Palace. We know you claim that you were “framed” with all that heroin, but come on. That’s the oldest trick in the white girl book!

Women Are Complex, Too: Lily Allen

bfred — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 18:09:09 +0000

Whether she’s fighting with Perez Hilton on Twitter, endorsing child drug use, getting late night tattoos with Lindsay Lohan, exposing her lady parts or talking about exposing her lady parts, British singer Lily Allen seems to have mastered the art of getting American gossip blogs to rag on her.

Regardless of what the haters say, we love this complex woman, whose new album It’s Not Me, It’s You is currently #1 in the UK and #5 in the U.S. For our February/March issue, we decided to feature Lily in our regular “Women Are Complex, Too” column, where she gave us the female perspective on men with wack style, dating liars and fixing broken relationships.

CLICK HERE TO READ LILY ALLEN’S COMPLEX MAGAZINE ARTICLE

Wifey Or Trifey: Lily Allen

jerwin — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 02:50:38 +0000

We can’t front'we got a thing for Lily Allen. She’s cute as a button, funny as shit, and she can hold her liquor like a beer stein. Of course, all those things that say “down-ass chick” can pretty easily scream “trifey” as well. So with “The Fear,” the lead single off her new album It’s Not Me, It’s You due out tomorrow, we ask, is Lily Miss Right or Miss Right Now? Examine the evidence and vote below…

WIFEY?
Apparently Lily enjoys sunbathing topless, and from the looks of this picture, she has a trife-erific tramp stamp on her lower back. However, note that she’s sunbathing topless in the South of France, which means her paper is longer than the Maginot Line, and that’s definitely wife-tastic.

TRIFEY?
She hangs out with rappers. ‘Nuff said.

CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE EVIDENCE…

DJ Treats’ Weekly Treats: Lily Allen, Bloc Party & M.I.A.

treats — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 21:38:29 +0000

Each week, Complex’s resident music expert DJ Treats will be bringing you key tracks from a variety of genres. Click on a link below to hear the song and learn about the artist!

ELECTRO/POP: Lily Allen “Everyone’s At It”

RAP: Werdplay “Big Wheel”

ROCK: Bloc Party “Talons”

POP: Justin Timberlake “Magic”

DANCE/ELECTRONICA: M.I.A. “Shells”

Rating 5 Famous Female Bloggers

treats — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 21:48:35 +0000

The fact that anyone can start a blog doesn’t mean that everyone should. Some people just aren’t built for the demanding schedule, much-less writing a lick on WordPress. But when we see famous females squeezing out a few posts every couple of days, we can’t help adding their RSS.

Yesterday, Jessica Biel wrote a lengthy blog for her first entry, introducing herself to the blogosphere via MySpace. Sure, it was mostly shameless self-promotion of her upcoming projects, but at least it sounds like she’s actually writing it and not having her assistant handle the posts like some other A-listers. But JT’s wifey isn’t the only web-savvy woman out there. After the jump, we compiled some of the 'net’s best part-time she-bloggers and rated their skills.

OLIVIA MUNN’S MYSPACE BLOG

Watching the brilliant G4 personality (and former Complex cover girl) on cable isn’t enough. Olivia satisfies the never-ending appetitie for her goofy antics, and rampant sexual innuendos.
RATING: 5/5

LILY ALLEN’S MYSPACE BLOG

The British pop-singer that generated most of her buzz on MySpace is always wired to the net. Lily religiously updates her blog in a personal diary style sharing thoughts about her personal life'misscarriage, public intoxication, and doesn’t hesitate to e-thug every now and again.
RATING: 3.5/5

ALYSSA MILANO’S MLB BLOG

Since retiring from Who’s The Boss, the throwback hottie analyzes developments with the LA Dodgers ball club on her blog titled “Touch ‘Em All”. Her bases are loaded, trust.
RATING: 3/5

CASSIE’S MYSPACE BLOG

Cassie is a stunna. So the best way for her to blog is through video clips where the goddess can be seen and heard. Watch with the volume up or down, it really doesn’t matter.
RATING: 4.5/5

OFFICIALKIMKARDASHIAN.COM

Keeping up with our favorite Kardashian just got easier via RSS, nuff said.
RATING: 5/5

When Did Lily Allen Look Her Best?

Joe — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 20:15:38 +0000

Who is the real Lily Allen? To say that the British singer switches her style up often is an understatement. In the past few months, she’s changed her hair color more than Dennis Rodman during his bad-boy days with Da Bulls. Last night at the UK Glamour Magazine’s Women of the Year awards, Allen flossed her new pink hair before taking home hardware for the “Editors Special” award and getting so wasted that she had to be carried out of the afterparty by a security guard.

A few months back, pictures of the free-spirited Allen in the nude at Cannes circulated the net, showing the recovering socialite rocking blonde locks. She looked decent, but we feel like the pink might be a nice change. After the jump, we compiled a round up of all Lily’s major looks throughout the last 5 years. Check 'em out and vote on her best look.

18-Year-Old Lily With Short Hair:

Lily With Long, Black Hair:

Lilly With Blonde Hair:

Lilly With Her New Pink Hair:

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.