Toys They Shootin’! 5 Nerf Guns to Bust Caps With This Weekend

Yeah, it’s a holiday weekend, and for you, that prolly means pool parties on the reg, frozen drinks on the reg, and way too much meat in your mouth (what else is new?). For us, though, Labor Day means a dark specter on the horizon: our seven-year-old nephew Carl, a snot-nosed, shit-smelling little rat-faced rat fink who makes Latarian Milton look like Annie and insists on bringing his little snot-nosed, shit-smelling schnauzer Puddles to every family get-together.

As you may have gathered, we’re not real fond of our brother’s demon spawn. Maybe you have a younger relative just like Carl. So, what can you do? You can’t smack him around in front of the family, and whenever you get him loaded on Jello shots and throw him in the pool, everyone gets mad at you. Well, it’s not perfect, but last year we stumbled on a good recourse—Nerf guns. That’s right, keep pegging the little fucker with foam darts, and eventually he’ll fall the fuck back. To that end, we’ve reviewed 5 Nerf Guns to Wield This Holiday Weekend…