Trust us, there are times you don’t want to be like Mike.
This week, Michael Jordan will be inducted into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame. All week long, you’re gonna be bombarded with articles about his rarefied Air, lists of his greatest shots and illest sneakers, and clips of his funniest commercials. Snore. We already know MJ is the greatest basketball player/marketing vehicle that has ever lived (Kobe, you rimmed out in Colorado)! What really makes him great is that he’s so awesome in spite of his fuck-ups (rape charges don’t count, Kobe). So, rather than slob Jordan, Complex gives you the moments that proved he was mortal. Read on to watch 10 moments MJ would probably rather forget…
CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST…
This outdoor shower of Eva on her yacht is hot, but head over to the Bastardly to see even sexier pics. [Bastardly]
If you’re into girls with long tongues, here’s 41 chicks you’ll love. [CoedMag]
Nike’s not through with the vintage kicks. [Nice Kicks]
Wayne homages Kobe just in time for game 1 of the NBA finals tonight. [Nah Right]
Here’s a list of the best 7 foods to eat when you’re stoned. [Holy Taco]
Girls. Girls. Girls. [Double Viking]
Few Kobe fans remember the miracles Jesus could work with a roundball.
Sports are big on hyperbole, but Denver Nuggets coach George Karl went steroidal and sacrilegious with his when, after losing the Western Conference Finals to the Los Angeles Lakers, he told reporters, “I think Jesus would have had trouble covering [Kobe Bryant].” There’s no question that 24 is crazy nice, but we wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s a basketball god, or even the son of a basketball god. If we had to wager, we’d put money on J.C. completely shutting Black Mamba down. After all, Jesus is said to have turned water to wine. What’s to prevent him from turning a well hydrated Kobe into a 60-percent-alcohol mess? Kobe might still spin and fade away, but the only rim he’d hit is the toilet bowl (and even that would be a feat with that much adult grape juice in him).
Jesus isn’t the only one, either. Complex believes that figures from all major religions could make Kobe look like a D-League benchwarmer. Check it out as we pit them against 24 in a one-on-one showdown. It’s holy war on the hardwood! Of course, if you’re a dismayed Kobe Bryant fanatic, keep the faith. According to most religions, miracles do happen…
CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST…
More of the same: Katy Perry and Jonah Hill graced our June/July covers, and killed the Internets.
Terry Kennedy said his Supra’s beat out the Yeezy’s for signature shoe of the moment. [LINK]
Throw up the X. We showcased the 9 hottest Bronx women. [LINK]
We sold the NBA Finals without a Kobe-Lebron matchup. [LINK]
Sasha Grey: Wifey or Trifey? [LINK]
AND FROM THE COMPLEX NETWORK:
Nah Right: Lil Wayne is rockin’ Jeremy Scott adidas in Birdman’s new video for “Always Strapped.” [LINK]
Das Gamer: Take a first look at Sony Playstation 3’s Heavy Rain. [LINK]
Sneaker News: ACG Boots are the new cool. [LINK]
Bastardly: Shenae Grimes is looking amazing. [LINK]
Nice Kicks: You know you want them, but you can’t afford ‘em. Kanye’s Louis Vuitton sneakers are dropping very soon. [LINK]
On Smash: Remy Ma is still the queen, even in jail. [LINK]
SlamXHype: Comme as you are, des Garcons that is. [LINK]
Planet Xbox360: Jay-Z and Em are teaming up on a new video game. [LINK]
Kobe and Vanessa Bryant’s house may not be squeaky clean.
NBA housecleaning usually happens after the playoffs, but not for Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa Bryant. Their former housekeeper, 48-year-old Maria Jimenez, has sued them, claiming they harassed and humiliated her and failed to provide the health insurance they’d promised her. While everyone thinks of Vanessa as a victim of infidelity, Jimenez paints a different, stinkier picture. She alleges that Vanessa verbally abused and demeaned her, once ordering her to “put her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve the price tag for [a] blouse.” (Note: We’re left to wonder if this is what Kobe meant when he told Marc Ecko that he doesn’t like dog shit.)
Legal proceedings will determine if any of this is true or just a woman’s attempt to get paid to shut up, but it wouldn’t be the first time an athlete had a crazy wife. With this mess in mind, Complex presents the six craziest athlete wives. And for anyone who’s about to go ape shit when they don’t see Craig Hodges’s wife Carlita (doused him with gasoline and threw lit matches at him) or Nick Harper’s wife Daniell (attacked him with a knife), we’re talking non-domestic abuse crazy. We’ve learned you can’t throw punch lines at crazy violent women without getting arrested…
CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST…
Stan Van Gundy just learned what it’s like to have Shaq rip your balls off and shove them down your throat.
Shaq is back! Yes, Phoenix Suns center Shaquille O’Neal is playing well after struggling through injuries that made him look like a broken down codger. But more importantly, he’s regained his shit-talking form. His latest shit storm started brewing during Tuesday night’s 111-99 loss to the Magic, when Shaq attempted to draw an offensive foul on Dwight Howard with a highly offensive flop after the Orlando center gave him a light elbow tap. The tomfoolery led Magic coach Stan Van Gundy, who coached Shaq on the Miami Heat, to say that he was shocked by the cheap move and that O’Neal should play like a man.
Never one to let his manhood be challenged, Shaq shot back that his flop reminds “master of panic” Van Gundy of his whole career. This is the press conference version of Shaq power dunking on a rival and hanging on the rim to ensure they get a nice strong whiff of his crotch funk as he teabags them. It’s good to have the big man back in full force. Hopefully he keeps it up and is even able to surpass the hilarity of these six classic emasculations…
CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST…
What a day! And to top it off, a set of Marisa Miller bikini photos just hit the internets. We all win. [Bastardly]
Jay-Z remixes Jeezy's “My President” track on inauguration day. [Nah Right]
Before you trash your old computer, you might want to strip it down and use the parts for something useful. [Asylum]
Who won the footwear face off, Kobe or Lebron? You decide. [Nice Kicks]
F*cking weather, it's cold as shit out, we couldn't agree more. [Double Viking]
“Here hold this.” Audrina Patridge helped launch Sportie LA's Fila Sneaker collection. [Bastardly]
Check out this new track from The Game titled “The Show Is Over”. [Nah Right]
Kobe will be rocking these kicks at this year's All Star Game. [Nice Kicks]
Save $2,500 off this round pool table. What a steal! [Ballerhouse]
Listen to 40 inspiration speeches in 2 minutes. [Double Viking]
Wow. We haven't seen this many douche bags in one room since college frat parties. In attempt to promote Guitar Hero: World Tour, which hits stores on Sunday, director Brett Ratner got Alex Rodriguez, Michael Phelps, Tony Hawk and Kobe Bryant together for this Risky Business-style commercial. The promo features the rich-as-shit foursome playing music in pink button-ups and their underwear (except for vocalist Kobe, who was too shy and rocked some b-ball shorts instead).
The Pink Ladies, as we like to call them, will probably generate crazy buzz for the game, but really…could they have assembled more of an obnoxious cock-boy band? If you're like us, you probably hate each one for a different reason. Watch the video below, than vote in our poll to decide who’s the biggest douche of the bunch. Hating on a Friday, gotta love it…
CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST…
In the long-running feud between NBA stars and former teammates Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant, most people have sided with the big guy ’cause he’s funny, charismatic, and hasn’t been accused of raping anyone.
Though he’s always seemed like the better guy, it turns out that Shaq may be as big of a sleazebag as Kobe, if not bigger. Last Thursday, his former jumpoff, Alexis Miller (a.k.a. Maryjane, the Atlanta rapper you’ve never heard of), filed a restraining order against him, claiming he’d stalked, threatened, and harassed her after she ended their relationship. The development gives Complex pause and cause to rethink the Shaq Vs. Kobe hate debate. Check out our head-to-head comparison and cast your vote to determine who’s sleazier.
Click Here To Start The Analysis…
