Instead of our usual 9, we hit ya’ll with 10 shots of Spain’s hottest women! [LINK]
We had the Internet going nuts and people catching feelings when we unveiled 69 of rap’s most PAUSE worthy moments. [LINK]
Just imagine Lil’ Wayne starring in some of your favorite TV shows. Hilarious! [LINK]
Besides Jesus check out 7 other religious figures that can shut down Kobe Bryant. [LINK]
Read about Wale’s iffy relationship with the media (Complex included), Charles Hamilton and celebrity women. [LINK]
Former Playmate Kendra Wilkinson’s two’s can stop a baby from crying. [LINK]
AND FROM THE COMPLEX NETWORK:
Bastardly: Peep Bar Refaeli’s GQ Italy spread of her swinging. [LINK]
On Smash: Juelz Santana’s “Days Of Our Lives” video. [LINK]
SlamXHype: Comme des Garcons PLAY spring/summer 2009 collection. [LINK]
Nah Right: Video for Kid Cudi’s “Heaven At Nite” is finally out. [LINK]
Das Gamer: Peep these two-riffic booth babes at E3 in LA. [LINK]
KarmaloopTV: B.o.B (AKA Bobby Ray) talks about his new video. [LINK]
Nice Kicks: Who rocked the latest Air Yeezy’s better? Kanye or Fabolous? [LINK]
Sneaker News: Gourmet il Tre in dark rose and cool gray—summer fresh. [LINK]
Few Kobe fans remember the miracles Jesus could work with a roundball.
Sports are big on hyperbole, but Denver Nuggets coach George Karl went steroidal and sacrilegious with his when, after losing the Western Conference Finals to the Los Angeles Lakers, he told reporters, “I think Jesus would have had trouble covering [Kobe Bryant].” There’s no question that 24 is crazy nice, but we wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s a basketball god, or even the son of a basketball god. If we had to wager, we’d put money on J.C. completely shutting Black Mamba down. After all, Jesus is said to have turned water to wine. What’s to prevent him from turning a well hydrated Kobe into a 60-percent-alcohol mess? Kobe might still spin and fade away, but the only rim he’d hit is the toilet bowl (and even that would be a feat with that much adult grape juice in him).
Jesus isn’t the only one, either. Complex believes that figures from all major religions could make Kobe look like a D-League benchwarmer. Check it out as we pit them against 24 in a one-on-one showdown. It’s holy war on the hardwood! Of course, if you’re a dismayed Kobe Bryant fanatic, keep the faith. According to most religions, miracles do happen…
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David Stern to Kobe and LeBron: Please don’t turn your backs on me!
Like Shaq shooting free throws, NBA Commissioner David Stern is shitting a brick. All season long, it’s seemed a foregone conclusion that the renewal of the Boston Celtics-Los Angeles Lakers rivalry last year would be followed by a marquee match-up of the league’s two biggest stars, Kobe Bryant and LeBron James, in the 2009 NBA Finals. The Commish was no doubt creaming in his suit pants just thinking about it. The same goes for the folks at Nike and Vitamin Water, who’ve been churning out ads playing up the superstar showdown. That’s a lot of cream, and now somebody’s going to need to mop it all up, because Carmelo Anthony’s Denver Nuggets are knocking Kobe around in the Western Conference Finals like they want to pay him back for that Colorado rape trial and Dwight Howard’s Orlando Magic have pushed the Cavs to the brink of elimination in the East and made it look like King James got his crown from Burger King.
With a Cavaliers-Lakers Finals in doubt, the NBA suddenly has to scramble to sell alternative match-ups that are about as sexy as Chyna with a raging case of (manly) female gonorrhea. Though we enjoy seeing Puppetmaster Stern squirm when the magnets in the balls and his team of crooked refs fail to determine the outcomes of series, Complex wants other sports fans to know that all is not lost! Check out 5 awesome story lines that a commercial announcer could play up in an overly dramatic voice should LeBron or Kobe or both fail to make it to the trophy round. Keep the cream alive!
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Kobe may want to light it up, but these aren’t kind Nugs, bro.
All year, sports pundits have been predicting that the Los Angeles Lakers would repeat as Western Conference Champions. Pardon us, but Complex doesn’t wash in purple and golden showers. That’s right, Kobe Bryant’s Lake Show is about to get canceled by Carmelo Anthony’s Denver Nuggets in the NBA Western Conference Finals.
We could provide myriad basketball reasons for this “upset” in the making, like L.A.’s inconsistent soft-batch style or point guard Chauncey Billups‘ infusion of calm, clutch shooting and leadership to Denver, but we’ll leave that to the professional sports reporters. Complex’s rationale is not based on hard data or statistics or other such nonsense, but on the priceless gold nuggets we mine in our minds. We pick winners like you pick boogers, so bet that mortgage money on it by the time the Lakers and Nuggets put the tip (off) in you tonight…
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Kobe and Vanessa Bryant’s house may not be squeaky clean.
NBA housecleaning usually happens after the playoffs, but not for Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa Bryant. Their former housekeeper, 48-year-old Maria Jimenez, has sued them, claiming they harassed and humiliated her and failed to provide the health insurance they’d promised her. While everyone thinks of Vanessa as a victim of infidelity, Jimenez paints a different, stinkier picture. She alleges that Vanessa verbally abused and demeaned her, once ordering her to “put her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve the price tag for [a] blouse.” (Note: We’re left to wonder if this is what Kobe meant when he told Marc Ecko that he doesn’t like dog shit.)
Legal proceedings will determine if any of this is true or just a woman’s attempt to get paid to shut up, but it wouldn’t be the first time an athlete had a crazy wife. With this mess in mind, Complex presents the six craziest athlete wives. And for anyone who’s about to go ape shit when they don’t see Craig Hodges’s wife Carlita (doused him with gasoline and threw lit matches at him) or Nick Harper’s wife Daniell (attacked him with a knife), we’re talking non-domestic abuse crazy. We’ve learned you can’t throw punch lines at crazy violent women without getting arrested…
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Stan Van Gundy just learned what it’s like to have Shaq rip your balls off and shove them down your throat.
Shaq is back! Yes, Phoenix Suns center Shaquille O’Neal is playing well after struggling through injuries that made him look like a broken down codger. But more importantly, he’s regained his shit-talking form. His latest shit storm started brewing during Tuesday night’s 111-99 loss to the Magic, when Shaq attempted to draw an offensive foul on Dwight Howard with a highly offensive flop after the Orlando center gave him a light elbow tap. The tomfoolery led Magic coach Stan Van Gundy, who coached Shaq on the Miami Heat, to say that he was shocked by the cheap move and that O’Neal should play like a man.
Never one to let his manhood be challenged, Shaq shot back that his flop reminds “master of panic” Van Gundy of his whole career. This is the press conference version of Shaq power dunking on a rival and hanging on the rim to ensure they get a nice strong whiff of his crotch funk as he teabags them. It’s good to have the big man back in full force. Hopefully he keeps it up and is even able to surpass the hilarity of these six classic emasculations…
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Far be it for us to be the harbinger of economic doom, but the NBA may be headed for some tough times. In fact, let super-agent David Falk tell it: “I think [fixing the NBA system is] going to be very, very extreme, because I think the times are extreme.” Salaries are out of control, teams are losing money and the imminent end of the current collective-bargaining agreement is putting the 2010-11 NBA season in jeopardy. Sorry, but ain’t no Krypto-Nate stopping that.
So, what’s the solution? The NBA will always have its loyalists, but we have a suggestion that should be familiar to anybody who’s suffered through a declining relationship: Distance yourself now before the heartbreak, and start seeing other people. Or, in this case, another league. Yup, the NHL. Yup, ice hockey. Look, we understand that most of you are indifferent about, if not openly hostile to, following the NHL, but the time is right to give the league another chance. Read on for our top 5 reasons why it may be time to jump ship on the NBA…
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What keeps Kobe Bryant up at night?
The NBA superstar has a lot on his mind, but while being interviewed by Complex founder Marc Ecko for our Feb/March 2009 cover story, he spilled the beans on the source of his biggest headache: Dog shit.
That’s right, Kobe’s German Shepherd has a tendency to leave presents for him in the morning. His memorable answer didn’t make it into our original interview video, so we decided to drop a special outtake clip. Watch his poop protest below…
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The new King of New York exits the Garden last night.
Give credit where credit is due: to us! That’s right, four months after we got Aubrey O’Day kicked out of Danity Kane (or not), it seems we’ve inspired one of our latest cover subjects to new heights.
Last night Kobe Bryant blew into New York and blew the doors off Madison Square Garden, setting a new scoring record at the World’s Most Famous Arena with 61 points (besting the previous highs of 60 by Knick Bernard King and 55 by some dude named Jordan). Coincidentally (or not), our Kobe cover story hit the ‘Nets last week and has started appearing on newsstands in the past few days. To celebrate KB’s achievement (and our assist), we offer the 5 Greatest Moments in Kobe’s Career…
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For our upcoming Feb/March 2009 cover story (dropping on February 10) we put the spotlight on Canadian actress, Elisha Cuthbert of The Girl Next Door fame. Read through our interview to see her thoughts about her home-country, her sensitive role in Captivity, and her liking for hockey. [LINK]
Even before the NBA, Kobe Bryant was hated by many, and loved by few. Check out this exclusive interview conducted by Marc Ecko, where Bryant poignantly breaks down his legacy in the league, the technology used for his upcoming shoes with Nike, and reasons behind his competitive nature. [LINK]
We were a little worried when we heard Toccara Jones recently devoting herself to her fitness DVD. So just in case she works those twos out of shape, we take you back in the memory lane of Jones' voluptuous twos. [LINK]
If you thought Sa-Ra front man Taz Arnold rocking a pair of animal skin pants is crazy, check out some of these other shits he was rocking. [LINK]
Kate Winslet has devoted herself to a respectable career as an actress. But nobody's perfect. In celebration of her recent winning streaks at the award shows, Kate Winslet gets the proper Wifey or Trifey showdown treatment. [LINK]
And From The Complex Network
KicksOnFire.com:This A.P.C. x Nike collaboration might be the sneaker for the spring season. Two words, simply classic. [LINK]
NiceKicks.com: Seems like Nike will be releasing many more classics from the past in 2009. First at bat will be these Griffey’s. [LINK]
Nah Right: Fat Joe and Akon get together for another hit called “One”. [LINK]
OnSmash: Kanye West kicks off this new Teriyaki Boyz track called “Teriya-King”. [LINK]
Bastardly: Former Playboy Pinup Shauna Sand shows off her Jet Skiing skills. [LINK]
Slamxhype: Check out Common Projects Spring collection for 2009 [LINK]
