5 Reasons McCain Was Right About Spain

prubin — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 17:48:26 +0000

So Mr. Foreign Policy, John “Warhawk” McCain, showed his septuagenarian ass this week in a radio interview by 1) confusing Spain’s prime minster, Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, with a Central American dictator, and 2) not admitting his mistake and instead letting his campaign imply that he’s actually taking a tough stance toward Spain, a NATO ally. Now THAT’S a ~~dickbag who’s clearly not fit to serve~~ maverick.

But while he’s clearly wrong in his stance (his campaign’s acting hardbody because Zapatero pulled Spain’s troops out of Iraq when he was elected), there are a few things about Spain we wouldn’t mind wiping off the map…

STUPID CULINARY TRENDS

Tapas (aka, Tiny Piece of Food x Tinier Plate). Fish-flavored foam. Cooking chicken in a Ziplock submerged in warm water. Call us rubes, but we’ll stick with something you can actually chew.

STUPID TERRORISTS

The ETA, a Basque separatist movement, is like Spain’s version of those guys in Texas who want to become a state. Except they play dress-up, which makes them even more annoying.

STUPID VEHICLES

Mopeds? Who knows, maybe we’re wrong; maybe it really is the fastest way to get from the discotheque to the store that sells no deodorant.

STUPID SPANISH INQUISITIONS

“Hey, let’s spend 350 years torturing Jews and Muslims! And to top it off, let’s inspire Monty Python to create a skit that morons will be quoting during World of Warcraft marathons for 350 more years!”

STUPID RACISTS

We’ve said it before, but still: Awesome work, you gawky stinky patchy-bearded lovers of hairy women.

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5 Reasons McCain Was Right About Spain