It’s hard to believe that the psychologically unstable, Glenn Beck, was solely responsible for this week’s resignation of Van “Green Jobs” Jones. It’s because he wasn’t. In actuality, Beck was merely the talking-head propagandist for big oil companies, fearful that Jones might actually succeed at creating jobs with an alternative energy strategy.

But Beck played his position. Smearing progressives to the point of retreat is essentially FOX News’ mission statement. But has Beck transitioned from douche bag to dangerous? Pretty much. Here’s a look at some of his most unhinged moments that have surprisingly impacted Washington…

5. Cries For His Country Ratings
• Notice how after Beck evokes 9/11, he brings up military bases in Iraq. What was the connection, again?

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Pt. 1:
Pt. 2:

4. Gets Exposed And Roasted On The View
• Like nails on a chalkboard, Beck endures some cringe-worthy embarrassment stemming from his pathological lying. While entertaining, it truly exposes the depth of his twisted psychosis, which somehow has found a platform on mainstream television. Frightening.

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3. Calls President Obama A Racist
• What’s even weirder than Beck accusing the President of hating white people, is how his FOX colleagues try to challenge his accusation by simply listing off all the white people in Obama’s administration. Gee, clearly race never factors into these people’s daily judgments. WTF?

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2. Pours “Gasoline” On Symbolic Ideological Adversary
• Mad disturbing. What are you trying to provoke, Glenn? Seriously.

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1. Loses His Frickin’ Marbles On Radio Show
Key Moment:
• Wowzers. Beck’s Radio Meltdown > O’Reilly’s “Inside Edition” Temper Tantrum.

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5. Michael Fitzgibbon, Waldorf, MD, 1985
• Michael’s 15-year-old sister made a grave mistake when she asked her 14-year-old classmate, Tammy Lynn Giles, to babysit her 21-month-old brother. Giles inexplicably fled with Michael to Dallas, and the boy was found a few weeks later by authorities wandering the streets alone. To heighten the creepiness, social workers wound up initially returning Michael to his captor, believing that Giles was in fact the mother. Giles then left Michael in Dallas, moved to Pittsburgh and eventually turned herself in on the advice of her boyfriend. Michael was then reunited with his real mom, unharmed, after the six week ordeal.

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4. Dana, Ramzi & Samer Ariss, Beirut, Lebanon, 1988
• Wealthy Lebanese jeweler, Zuheir Ariss, endured every parent’s nightmare when his three kids were forcefully abducted from their chauffeur-driven Mercedes by gun-toting kidnappers. The gunmen demanded a $3 million ransom. After three days, the children were released, but their father never confirmed if a payment was delivered. The kids weren’t physically harmed but suffered from a redundant meal plan. Samer, 9, would later explain: “We had chicken for breakfast, lunch and dinner…I don’t want to see chicken for the rest of my life.”

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3. David and Sophia Akbar, Huddersfield, UK, 2002
• David and Sophia, both infants, found themselves in the middle of their parent’s messy divorce when their father, Mohammed Akbar, kidnapped them and relocated to Pakistan in 1982. Their mother spent the next 20 years searching for their whereabouts, retaining a Pakistani lawyer and making several trips to no avail. Eventually, Sophia, anxious to trace her roots, wrote several letters to various agencies until The Salvation Army identified the mother and re-connected the kin. Both David and Sophia eventually moved back to Britain.

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2. 78 of 25,000 Ugandan Children, Gulu, Uganda, 2002
• The Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) is a North Ugandan-based rebel group that has been accused of kidnapping over 25,000 Ugandan children since 1987. These kids are often forced into servitude, military fighting and sexual slavery. Several international conferences over the years have attempted to force these children’s release. Very few return home. But in August 2002, the LRA released 78 detainees, 45 of whom were still children. The average age at the time of abduction is 13.

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1. Fan Yafang, Yunnan Province, China, 2009
• The diplomatic hoopla surrounding the recent release of two Current TV staff detained in North Korea, overshadowed the initial reason for their ventures to the region: to expose child trafficking. In April of this year, police in Wuhan City, China, launched an effort to crackdown on kidnappers who sell off children for profit. Twenty-five abducted kids – with ages ranging from 40 days to 5 years – were freed from captivity by authorities in June. One four-year-old girl, Fan, had been sold to a family four years ago for 8,300 yuan, which is about $1,220. Despite being released, many of these kids stay in railway police stations waiting to be reunited with their biological parents.

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5. Helped Manage J.F.K.’s Presidential Campaign, 1960
• Before Ted Kennedy endorsed Obama in hopes of shattering the racial glass ceiling for the Oval Office, he helped to break religious barriers with the election of his Catholic brother, John. While still in Law School, Ted served as Western states coordinator for the campaign, grinding hard in the streets of both Wisconsin and Wyoming. After those two highly-contested states went blue, he was largely credited with J.F.K.’s presidential victory.

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4. Delivers Moving Eulogy for Robert Kennedy, 1968
• Out of all members of the Kennedy clan, Ted was closest to his brother, Robert. So when assassins took the life of his anti-war sibling, Ted channeled his grief into inspiration. While the sadistic President Nixon was preparing to drop napalm on Vietnam citizens, Ted delivered one of his most well known speeches, urging Americans to carry on his brother’s legacy and fight for human rights. Ted concluded with a quote from Robert: “Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not.”

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3. Visited South Africa in Defiance of Apartheid Government, 1985
• Ted Kennedy was at the forefront of the anti-Apartheid movement. In direct defiance to South Africa’s racist government, Kennedy visited activists, Desmond Tutu and Winne Mandela, in Soweto to put the injustice on blast. Upon returning, Kennedy pushed for sanctions against South Africa, which eventually led to the Comprehensive Anti-Apartheid Act of 1986. President Reagan’s attempt to veto the act was a FAIL – marking the first time in the 20th century that a president had a foreign policy veto overridden.

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2. Blocked Robert Bork’s Appointment to the Supreme Court, 1987
• When President Reagan nominated the reactionary, Robert Bork, to the Supreme Court, Kennedy went innington. Bork held what’s referred to as an “originalist” judicial philosophy – basically meaning, do whatever the Founding Fathers wrote. Fearing that Bork would attempt to dismantle civil rights once confirmed, Kennedy spit a scathing diss speech on the Senate Floor that well exceeded 32 bars. Bork’s fan base was outraged but caught off guard and his nomination was soon ethered. In this clip, you can see current Supreme Court Justice, Sonia Sotomayor, in Kennedy’s entourage during the battle.

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1. Endorsed Senator Barack Obama for President, 2008
• While other heavyweight Democrats tip-toed around making an endorsement for the Democratic nomination, Ted Kennedy shook up the race by co-signing Obama for that #1 spot. In all fairness, Kennedy was one of only 23 Senators who voted against the 2001 invasion of Iraq and Hillary had voted for the war. The endorsement was a watershed moment in the campaign, intensifying Obama’s momentum to help him secure the nomination and go on to make world history. Thanks, Ted. R.I.P.

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However, their disturbing acts aren’t easily forgotten. Blackwater’s owner, Erik Prince, is a politically connected ex-Navy Seal who has been described by former employees as a Christian supremacist who viewed the Iraq war as a crusade against Islam. Well, that’s lovely. While Bush is hiding comfortably in his new Dallas mansion, his mercenary network is slowly feeling their power-binge hangover. To understand the magnitude of their behavior, here’s a rundown of the war crimes they have been accused of committing. Operation freedom, eh?

5. NISOUR SQUARE SHOOTING
On September 16, 2007, Blackwater personnel were escorting a caravan of U.S. diplomats to a meeting when the mercenaries opened gunfire on a group of Iraqi civilians, killing 17 people—including a woman and an infant. Blackwater claimed that they responded to an insurgent attack, but subsequent reports found that Blackwater and its staff of trigger-happy cowboys fired without provocation. Ringleader Paul Slough, along with four colleagues, were eventually charged with manslaughter and are awaiting trial. I’m sure it was an isolated incident.

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4. KILLED INTERNAL SNITCHES
After Blackwater realized that its aura of judicial invincibility was shattered, the owner, Erik Prince, sought damage control in the tradition of an organized crime boss. Sworn statements filed on August 3 by former Blackwater employees alleged that Prince not only destroyed incriminating evidence, but also murdered or facilitated the murder of Blackwater employees who cooperated with the federal investigation into their company. Grimey. The witnesses also claimed that Prince intentionally recruited racist Christian fundamentalists who pumped steroids, drank excessively, and blasted on civilians indiscriminately. But, y’know, the world is safer without Saddam, right?

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3. SMUGGLED ILLEGAL ARMS INTO IRAQ
Prince wasn’t satisfied with the lucrative governmental contracts awarded to Blackwater to fund their mass murder. He needed more dough. His private plane company, Presidential Airlines, illegally smuggled numerous weapons into Iraq hidden in bags of dog food. The weapons included sawed-off semi-automatic machine guns with silencers, and other tools for “freedom fighting”.

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2. PIMPED OUT IRAQI CHILD PROSTITUTES
Blackwater’s crime wave didn’t stop with murder. Operating like sadistic Bosnian warlords, the private security firm was also accused of pimping out Iraqi child prostitutes. What started out as tricking allegedly turned into exploiting, as Blackwater employees became more involved in the local sex trade. It didn’t help that two high-ranking Blackwater managers were previously involved in Kosovo sex trafficking.

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1. COLLABORATED WITH C.I.A IN ASSASSINATIONS
The C.I.A.’s relationship with Blackwater was extensive. Several former C.I.A. employees worked for the mercenary organization and the C.I.A. often trained at Blackwater’s North Carolina facility. So it’s no surprise that dating back to 2004, the C.I.A. recruited the vigilantes into their campaign to assassinate “members of Al Qaeda”. In addition to helping to organize and carryout illegal killings, Blackwater also helped set up secret prisons where they likely committed more acts of “freedom fighting“. But as the cloak of secrecy fades, these bloodthirsty “freedom fighters” are now hopefully fighting for their freedom.

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The myth of incarceration is that it rehabilitates, that it removes societal menaces for the general public’s well-being, and that it is a humane and effective approach to dealing with crime. It is not. America’s entire prison industry borders on cruel and unusual punishment. But the U.S. is not alone in its addiction to lock-down. Prison riots occur often throughout the world, sometimes with even more devastating outcomes. Here’s a look at some of the biggest prison riots in world history…


5. ATTICA PRISON RIOT; Attica, NY, 1971
Considered the deadliest prison riot in U.S. history, this four-day revolt left 43 people dead and cost the state tens of millions of dollars. Overcrowded conditions ignited the riot and inmates took control of the entire prison for the first day. Authorities then forced about 1,300 rioters to eventually retreat to an area in the exercise field, where they held ten prison guards hostage. Governor Rock-e-feller intensified the fight like Rumsfeld in ‘01, ordering authorities to respond with force. With 3,000 rounds of tear gas engulfing the exercise field, police fired like a Fallujah showdown, killing 39, including the ten hostages. “I’d open every cell in Attica send em to Africa…”
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4. NEW MEXICO STATE PENITENTIARY RIOT; Santa Fe, NM, 1980
In what was one of the more gruesome prison revolts in U.S. history, this 36-hour siege resulted in 33 inmate deaths, allegedly at the hands of other inmates. The prison was a ticking time-bomb. In addition to jam-packed conditions, prison guards routinely punished uncooperative inmates by labeling them as “snitches,” resulting in abuse from other prisoners. On Feb. 2, inmates took seven guards hostage, obtained a set of keys, and embarked on a prison-wide brawl. Reportedly, some prisoners found blow torches and used them on rival inmates, killing dozens. A negotiation process eventually brought the riot to a close. Despite talks, state officials refused to improve prison conditions out of spite. And the beat goes on…
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3. STRANGEWAYS PRISON RIOT; Manchester, England, 1990
This 25-day revolt is regarded as the longest riot in Britain’s history. Strangeways was notoriously overcrowded, with inmates housed three to a one-person cell. An organized riot erupted in the prison chapel on April Fool’s Day and inmates took over several areas, including the roof. Lengthy negotiations resulted in inmates agreeing to surrender in exchange for improved conditions. A subsequent government investigation concluded that Strangeways was indeed an inhumane facility and legislation was introduced to improve living standards.
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2. LUCASVILLE RIOT; Lucasville, Ohio, 1993
No prison riot in Ohio led to more reforms than the one that occurred here on Easter Sunday, 1993. With the prison population at 150% capacity, 450 inmates rioted for two weeks straight until hundreds of National Guardsmen quelled the revolt. Circumstances surrounding the riot’s cause are controversial, and the whole ordeal has been eyed as a possible Hollywood script. Seriously. All in all, $40 million in damage was inflicted on the prison, nine inmates were allegedly beaten to death, and one guard was strangled. In addition to several subsequent prosecutions, Ohio spent millions of dollars on its prison system to supposedly alleviate overcrowding and prevent future riots. Yeah, OK.
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1. SÃO PAULO HOUSE OF DETENTION RIOTS; São Paulo, Brazil, 1992
Latin America’s largest prison—built for 3,500 but housing 7,300—was the scene of the world’s deadliest prison revolt. Brazil’s military police didn’t want to negotiate after rival gangs erupted into a three-hour riot. Police shot and killed 111 inmates—10 percent of the prison population. Human rights grouped blamed authorities for lacking restraint, pointing out that military police in Brazil are responsible for 20% of the country’s annual homicides. “Can’t tell the difference between the cops and the robbers, they both partners…”

Running game and bullshitting foreign adversaries is absolutely mandatory for diplomatic warriors. The stakes are high. Success is rewarded with medals of valor; failure forever threatens one’s legacy. So here’s a rundown of some recent diplomatic jail-breaks where the gift of gab saved the gift of life…

5. Jesse Jackson, Syria, 1984
Before President Obama was taking overseas trips as a candidate, presidential hopeful, Jesse Jackson, was negotiating high-stake hostage releases in Syria. U.S. Navy Pilot, Lt. Robert Goodman, was shot down in Lebanon while on a bombing mission and got detained by Syrian authorities. Jackson assembled a missionary posse, which even included Rev. Jeremiah Wright, and helped secure Goodman’s release after a month of imprisonment. When President Reagan realized he was being an asshole for initially criticizing Jackson’s mission, he decided to celebrate Goodman’s return at the White House. Now about that Oliver North guy…

4. Bill Richardson, Iraq, 1995
Richardson is a professional two-faced schmoozer. Dude has an extensive track-record of brokering deals to release humans from captivity. His most high profile face-to-face negotiation was with Saddam “WMD” Hussein, who had incarcerated two U.S. engineers after they crossed the Iraqi border from Kuwait. While he successfully convinced Uday’s dad to eventually let the Americans go, it wasn’t until after he offended the former Iraqi leader by crossing his legs and showing the sole of his shoe. Subliminal shots? I see what you did there, Bill.

3. Sir Nigel Sheinwald, Iran, 2007
When Iran’s Revolutionary Guard seized 15 British sailors after they allegedly entered Iranian territory, a diplomatic crisis engulfed Downing Street. Tension escalated after Blair kinda snitched on Iran at the U.N. Security Council for the detainment, resulting in the captors releasing humiliating apology videos from the Royal Navy prisoners. Hoping to avoid a military response, the Brits sent in their cloak-and-dagger diplomat who was more Austin Powers than James Bond. Telephonic deal-making ensued and all prisoners were eventually released after about a week. Yeah baby, yeah…

2. Tariq Azizuddin is detained in Afghanistan, 2008
At times, release missions require a level of flexibility that results in prisoner swaps. Win/win, sorta? Such was allegedly the case last year when Pakistan’s ambassador to Afghanistan, Tariq Azizuddin, was kidnapped by Mujahideen on his way to work in Kabul. His captors milked the coverage with the ambition of a leading PR company, dropping statements, vlogs, the whole nine. A murky closed-doors negotiation process ended with the release of Azizuddin and his shooter. Despite continued denials, it was widely believed that Pakistan delivered 20 million Pakistani rupees and let about 50 Mujahideen prisoners go free in return. Don’t front, that’s what you call strategic kidnapping.

1. Bill Clinton, North Korea, 2009
It’s probably a positive diplomatic sign when a captor requests the presence of a particular statesman to broker a deal. Journalists Euna Lee and Laura Ling were unexpectedly met by Bubba who took them home on his private jet in lieu of his wife’s presence. Awkward.

The recent false arrest of world-renowned intellectual, Henry Louis Gates Jr., highlights the racial profiling and other disturbing trends in the judicial system. Unjust detainment happens daily and reaches back to the nation’s birth. But here’s some recent cases of false arrests that makes one wonder how many of those 2.3 million on lock down are actually guilty… 
 

5. Rev. Henderson L. Brome, Milton, Mass. 2004
Before Harvard’s Professor Gates was wrongfully detained in his home, Massachusetts po-po were shoving priests into squad cars out of sheer racial profiling. Brome, a black Reverend who had recently moved to Milton, was taking a morning stroll with a walking stick when authorities arrested him for resembling the description of a car-theft suspect. Brome later explained: “I tried to tell him I lived on the street. He wasn’t interested… All he saw was a black man.” The city eventually settled with the Reverend for $50,000.

4. Rubin “Hurricane” Carter, Toronto, Canada, 1996
Carter, a famous African-American boxer, was a victim of false imprisonment more than once. After serving 16 years in New Jersey for a triple homicide he never committed—chronicled in the film “The Hurricane”—he moved to Toronto where he started the Association in Defense of the Wrongly Convicted. While in T Dot, Carter was wrongfully arrested again for accusations of selling crack to an undercover. After police acknowledged the “mistaken identity”, Carter was released but declined legal action. 

3. Christopher Long, NYC, 2008
When Chris Long came to NYC as an activist with the cycling group, Critical Mass, he got a taste of the NYPD blues. While biking through Times Square, he was pushed off his ten-speed and slammed to the ground by one of NYPD’s rookies. Clearly serving and protecting, the arresting officer charged Long with several crimes, including assaulting an officer. But after this footage surfaced, Long’s version of events gained credibility and he sued the city for $1.5 million. 

2. Wise Intelligent, Trenton, NJ, 2009
Legendary rapper Wise Intelligent, from the group Poor Righteous Teachers, just recently dealt with New Jersey’s corrupt practices. After Trenton pigs felt embarrassed for wrongfully accusing him of selling drugs, they cried “assault on a police officer”. Yea, yea, yea, heard that before. The rapper was later released with a summons for obstructing justice. See the bullshit!

 1. Henry Louis Gates Jr., Boston, Mass, 2009
Dear Beantown Police: you know fucked up, right? When authorities brought Professor Gates downtown on charges of essentially breaking into his own building, they didn’t realize they were messing with one of President Obama’s “bout it, bout it” collegiate comrades. While most similar cases of racial profiling would likely go unreported, Gates’ social status made the false arrest “newsworthy”. It’s about time.

The GOP’s desperate attempt to rebrand itself as youthful, modern and multicultural has produced some entertaining characters. After Team Maverick got bodied on Election Day, the right wing’s been scrambling for a new face. Well, Meghan “Lil Maverick” McCain is going hard for the crown. Fully aware of her newfound status, Meghan is milking her familiar surname for all the political cheese she can shred. Is she a genuine contender or just another privileged bimbo? Perhaps a review of her most recent public antics will shed some light…

5. Declares GOP “Leaderless” on Larry King
• Shots fired! Meghan, 26, throws the GOP under the bus for its failed leadership while declaring her support for gay marriage. While she defines herself as socially “liberal”, she remains fiscally “conservative” – you know like opposing higher taxes on her inherited wealth. I’m shocked.

4. Beefs with Ann Coulter
• To garner a little buzz for her new blog on The Daily Beast, Meghan did what any youthful public figure does in this new media age – starts beef. Always an easy target of ridicule, Ann “I look like a Nazi sympathizer” Coulter, felt the wrath of Meghan’s maverickness. Coulter, clearly feeling that Meghan hadn’t moved enough units to land on her radar, never responded.

3. Tells Laura Ingraham To “Kiss My Fat Ass”
• Although Ann Coulter never got in the booth to try and ether Meghan Maverick, she sent her lil’ homie, Laura Ingraham, to rhetorically scratch her eyes out. Like a cruel cheerleader team captain, Ingraham mocked Meghan’s physical appearance. McCain, sensing a lane here, took advantage of the bait and sought empathy on The View.

2. Calls Joe The Plumber a “Dumbass”
• In a new interview with “Out” magazine, Meghan tries to separate herself from the other “useful idiots” in the party. In this clip, the commentators ponder McCain’s motives for calling Joe The Plumber a “dumbass”. They conclude that he must have tried to hit that. I surely can’t think of any other reason.

1. Gets Humiliated on Bill Maher
• Just when you thought Meghan might have what it takes to compete, she gets embarrassed on Bill Maher for lacking an education. Sounding more like the face of blonde jokes rather than the face of a political party, Meghan shrivels up like her old man. Next.

Sure, tabloid news is a competitive market and the rules of engagement are vague. But intercepting phone calls for exclusives is illegal. That’s not to say it doesn’t produce headlines. Let’s look back at some modern cases of the phone tap…

5. Linda Tripp Records Monica Lewinsky, 1997
• After Lewinsky delivered the blowjob felt around the world, she did what any experienced groupie does—divulge her experience in detail over the phone. Whoops. The young slide was infamously betrayed by her 47-year-old mentor and gave rise to the brief career of Ken Starr.

4. NSA Eavesdrops on “Terrorists,” 2005
• Bush wasn’t much of a fan of the U.S. Constitution. He found it annoying. So rather than ask the elitist Congress for clearance, Bush went ahead and tapped the phones of suspected “terrorists”. I guess it is easier to be a dictator.

3. Anthony Pellicano Taps Celebrity Phones, 2008
• Before Murdoch’s bombshell discovery, Hollywood private eye, Pellicano, was taking $25,000 retainer fees to tap the phones of dozens of celebrities, including Sly Stone. I know. Sly, how could he? He’s now serving 15 years in Pelican Bay (no relation).

2. Paul Bergrin Recorded By FBI Ordering Hits, 2009
• You heard the one about the lawyer, the mobster and the witness? No it’s not another bad lawyer joke, but a case of a really bad lawyer. The infamous Bergrin, a former federal prosecutor and high-profile defense attorney, was caught on FBI wiretap incriminating himself in conspiracy to murder. I think the key phrase was “No witness, no case”.

1. Rupert Murdoch’s “News Of The World” Tapping Celebrities, 2009
• Murdoch’s “News Of The World” apparently took a page from the CIA’s figurative memoir, “Police of the World”, giving birth to a modern hybrid – Paparazzi espionage. It’s a slippery slope.

Michael Jackson was the most influential pop icon in modern history. So it’s no surprise that when he passed away last week, many political leaders from around the world delivered written condolences acknowledging his unparalleled impact. Some reporters even questioned President Obama’s lack of a formal response, noting that MJ had a long history of using his star power to influence humanitarian efforts.

In fact, MJ holds 13 different titles in the Guinness Book Of World Records, one of which names him as the most philanthropic pop star of all time—donating over $300 million to charities. So in honor of the King of Pop, here are some of MJ’s most high-profile encounters with the political world…

MJ Receives Presidential Public Safety Award From President Reagan, May 14, 1984
• At only 25, Mike’s name was ringing like his manager’s phone. Here he accepts an award for basically allowing his classic hit “Beat It” to be used for a campaign against drunk driving. Also, I can only assume that Reagan must have felt that the moonwalk really complimented his Star Wars program.

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MJ writes “We Are The World”, 1985
• With assistance from Nicole Ritchie’s dad, MJ wrote one of the most well-known hooks of all time and recruited 45 musical all-stars to hop on the track. Revenues exceeded $100 million and were donated to the humanitarian organization “USA for Africa,” which specifically helped to alleviate hunger in Somalia. ‘09 remix, anyone?

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MJ Honored by President George Walker Bush as “Artist Of The Decade”, 1990
• In his second visit to the White House, MJ gets props from the former head of the CIA for being named “Artist Of The Decade”. You know whose phone got tapped after this ceremony.

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MJ sings “Heal The World” at President Clinton’s Inauguration, 1993
• Jackson, a supporter of the Democratic Party, looked out for Clinton and delivered this memorable performance at Mr. 42’s Inauguration. But when it came to groupies, Bill definitely gave MJ a run for his money.

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U.S. Congress Honors Michael Jackson, 2009
• In a rare show of formal recognition, members of the U.S. Congress held a moment of silence in honor of the legend’s untimely death. R.I.P.

RELATED:
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Well, Gov. Mark Sanford’s recent tryst complicates the issue. It’s one thing to duck the press and the wife, but something’s odd when your own staff thinks you’re hiking in the Appalachians on a squirrel and moonshine diet, when, in fact, you’re essentially a sex tourist in Argentina. Not a good look. Like all cheating politicians that get busted, Sanford faced the time-honored tradition of extreme public humiliation via press conference. Although painful to watch, these public displays of grief are necessary tools to heal our wounds of lost trust. Let’s a take a glance back…  
 

 5. Gov. James McGreevey (D) NJ, 2004
Never one to waste time, McGreevey consolidated several things with this one conference: Admitted cronyism, resigned from office, terminated his marriage, announced his new lover and became the first openly gay governor is U.S. history. His wife at the time would later compare this press conference to their sex life: “It’s almost like an out-of-body experience. You’re there physically, but your mind is elsewhere.”

 4. Sen. Larry Craig (R) ID, 2007
When Sen. Craig wasn’t voting against gay marriage, he was being arrested for engaging in gay sex acts in the Minneapolis Airport’s bathroom. It’s safe to say, his career was a wrap once they leaked the rap sheet. Shout out to his wife for remaining in denial.   

 3. Gov. Eliot Spitzer (D) NY, 2008
In what was one of the biggest political bombshells in recent memory, Spitzer seemed more irritated than anything in this infamous clip that ended his promising, hypocritical career. Ashley, on the other hand … 

 2. Sen. John Edwards (D) NC, 2008
Edwards made a name for himself eloquently describing the struggle between “Two Americas”. Little did we know, he was actually talking about two women. Realizing that his image of a morally-sound dreamer had been shattered, Edwards hit primetime to bullshit his way out of divorce court. You almost fooled me, John!

1. Gov. Mark Sanford (R) SC, 2009
The pressures of running South Cackalack took its toll on the Republican Governor, who started running around with a mysterious Argentinean woman. Apparently, the governer’s office doesn’t block AdultFriendFinder on their computers. Hopefully it was worth the kisses, because he can certainly kiss those presidential aspirations long goodbye.

Ever since the French historian Alexis de Tocqueville reported his findings of a post-revolution America, citizens throughout the world have sought to rid itself of monarchies and institute “democracy”. Power to the people!

Well, it’s not so easy. Discriminatory voting restrictions and the need for obscene levels of money to campaign has made the transition complicated. At times, power is just straight-up jacked and flaunted like a chain on WorldStar. Here’s a brief glance at the most questionable power-grabs in recent history…

5. George W. Bush, USA, 2000
• America’s track record for representing its people has always been fairly ridiculous, considering that black people only gained federal protection to vote in 1965. Fast forward to 2000 and the Good Old Party resorted to their classic Good Old Ways. Voter disenfranchisement, familial favors and a subdued public led to one of the most dangerous regimes in our lifetime.

4. Dmitry Medvedev, Russia, 2008
• After Vladimir Putin started feeling the international heat for his dictatorial rep, he decided to co-sign his lil homie, Medvedev, and push him through the ranks to continue the Putin agenda. Never ones to be discrete, Medvedev and co. won by a landslide and made themselves real hot. International observers cried foul, but United Russia scoffed. If Bush can do it, so can I!

3. Umaru Yar’Adua, Nigeria, 2007
• When Umaru Yar’Adua won 70 percent of the votes to secure presidential victory, his legitimacy was immediately questioned. Not only were there 700 reported incidences of election-related violence leading up to voting day, but two gubernatorial front-runners were assassinated. Hey, things can get grimey when you have the largest oil industry in Africa.

2. Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe, 2008
• Mugabe just doesn’t give a fuck. His political career actually began quite promising as he was hailed as a national hero after battling the racist white-minority rulers of Rhodesia, which later became Zimbabwe. He was then elected to office in 1980 and never wanted to leave. His opponent in ‘08 withdrew from the campaign, citing violent intimidation and other cruel tactics unleashed by Mugabe’s goonies. Sticking to his guns, Mugabe remains defiant and won’t even let Jimmy Carter come visit. Sheesh.

1. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iran, 2009
• The latest case of questionable electoral victories has the streets of Iran on fire. Ahmadinejad’s suspiciously enormous margin of victory ignited a frenzy of protest that has President Obama watching his words very carefully. Let’s hope this nuclear power reaches a reasonable solution that’s more ballot than bullet.

Ever since the JFK-Nixon debates of 1960, TV has been a profoundly influential platform for politicians to spit game to voters. The ascent of “reality” TV has only exacerbated this phenomenon. Whether it’s a senator guest appearing or a contestant eventually running for office, it’s clear that bureaucrats around the world are seeking constituents through this new-age media outlet. Here are some examples of when politics infiltrate reality tv…

5. India, Congressman Sanjay Nirupam, “Bigg Boss”, 2008
• Mumbai Congressman, Sanjay Nirupam, became the first politician to appear on one of India’s biggest reality shows – “Bigg Boss”. His diplomatic maneuvering in the real world failed to extend to the “reality” world, as he was bossed-up on and sent home immediately. He later expressed regret for his appearance, feeling that it may have damaged his image. It was the editing, right?

4. Russia, “Political Factory”, 2006
• Drawing from a similar idea spawned in Argentina, this experiment by Putin’s party is more George Orwell than Simon Cowell. Fourteen contestants compete to get their name on the ballot for the parliament of Lipetsk, a region south of Moscow. Surprisingly, it’s not a serious attempt of direct democracy, but rather an innovative form of pop-propaganda.

3. UK, Tommy Sheridan, “Celebrity Big Brother”, 2007
• Inspired by other similarly-ambitious UK politicians, the controversial Scottish socialist, Tommy Sheridan, used his reality show opportunity to syndicate his political views.Before being eliminated, there was an episode where he was able to harangue the Bush administration as Latoya Jackson listened respectfully. You got that off, Tommy.

2. USA, President George W. Bush, “American Idol”, 2006
• Speaking of Dubya, he also caught the reality show bug and offered this contrived message of gratitude on “American Idol”. His snake-oil swag splashes liberally as he thanks “Idol” viewers for raising money to alleviate poverty in Africa. What a guy. He would have pitched in too, but was kind of busy bombing other poor people at the time. Maybe next year.

1. USA, Patricia Blagojevich, “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here”, 2009
• When disgraced former Illinois senator, Rod Blagojevich, was denied a spot on “I’m a Celebrity” due to his open cases, his ride-or-die wifey stepped up on behalf of the fam. Clearly a desperate attempt at personal redemption, Patty is in fact excelling at eating insects and slandering old adversaries. Yet another case of when keeping it reality goes wrong.

This year marks the 150th anniversary of the death of John Brown, the militant abolitionist from whom I take my stage name. Despite dramatic societal progression, it’s staggering how relatively recent it was in America where this magnitude of conflict was prevalent. To put it in perspective, my grandfather turns 100-years-old next weekend. It’s mind-boggling to think that only 50 years before his birth, Old John Brown was hanged for fighting against the evils of slavery, in a society that deemed him crazy. In honor of John Brown’s legacy, and to familiarize those unaware of his actions, here’s 5 of his most legendary acts, which lionized him as a controversial American martyr…

5. Pottawatomie Massacre, Kansas, May 24th, 1856
• When it came to Kansas, Brown really got it in. Dorothy’s home state was in fact an epicenter of the slavery conflict, dubbed “Bleeding Kansas”. After the anti-slavery town of Lawrence was pillaged by pro-slavery “Border Ruffians”, Brown sought revenge. Joined by four of his sons and two others, Brown’s team visited some pro-slavery racists near Pottawatomie River and murked five of them with broadswords.

4. Black Jack Battle, Kansas, June 2, 1856
• This was the fight that really got Brown’s name buzzing in the streets. Widely considered the first battle of America’s Civil War, Brown led this attack in the town of Black Jack, Kansas, after Border Ruffians detained two of his sons. After three hours of mayhem, Brown eventually captured his 30 opponents, escalating the national conflict.

3. Battle of Osawatomie, Kansas, August 30th, 1856
•In this daring showdown, Brown heightened his national rep as a brave militant, but also took his first serious L. After getting word that 400 Border Ruffians from Missouri were planning to attack the anti-slavery town of Osawatomie, Kansas, he rounded up his 30 riders and headed off for a confrontation. After losing six men, including a son, Brown’s crew was forced to retreat and the pro-slavery mob proceeded to pillage and burn the town.

2. Constitutional Convention, Chatham, Ontario, May 8, 1858
• In 1856, Brown and his sons left Kansas and went back east to stack some paper. Although he received donations from northern sympathizers, Brown wanted manpower for a physical rebellion. An ally, Martin Delany, helped to organize a convention in Chatham, where one-third of its 6,000 residents were ex-slaves. Brown, who met Harriet Tubman at this convention, encouraged the abolitionists to fight to make Kansas a free state and a final destination for those in the Underground Railroad. It is believed that he successfully recruited several attendees at this event for his impending raid on Harper’s Ferry.

1. Harper’s Ferry Raid, Harper’s Ferry, Virginia, October 16, 1859
• Brown’s determination for violent insurrection culminated in his master plan to raid this Harper’s Ferry armory. The idea was to steal a cache of weapons for the anti-slavery movement to set off a state-by-state revolution. Fredrick Douglas and other supporters at the time deemed it too risky and discouraged participation. The plan turned out to be disastrous. After they were surrounded in the armory, ten of Brown’s men were killed, two of whom were his sons. Brown was detained, tried and eventually hanged on December 2, 1859. His death received national attention, and he is largely considered one of the central figures to catalyze the civil war, which officially popped off in 1861.

This week, Siberian authorities discovered an abandoned 5-year-old girl who had been apparently raised by dogs and cats. Word. Dating back to ancient times, there have been hundreds of accounts of adolescents raised by animals, also known as “feral children“. Most tales are thankfully fictitious, but a handful have been corroborated with substantial evidence. Despite the obvious horrors of this tragic form of neglect, feral children offer rare insight into human behavior development. Here’s a look at some of these verified cases:

5. Marie Angélique Memmie LeBlanc, France, 1731
• Known as the Wild Child of Champagne, Marie was an American Indian who survived ten years in the woods of Champagne before she was rescued by villagers at the age of 19. Her journey began in Nebraska, which was a French colony at that time. After a battle between the French and her tribe, she was allegedly sold to a French-Canadian woman who then took her to Marseilles, France. A subsequent plague epidemic left her confined in quarantine until she escaped into the woods. When found, she had unusually large thumbs from digging holes, ate raw meat and could only communicate with a wild shriek. She eventually recovered, learned to read and write and died wealthy in 1775.

4. Victor D’Aveyron, France, 1800
• A 12-year-old boy, later named Victor, emerged from the woods after spending his childhood in the forest near the city of Toulouse. He could not speak, had scratches all over his body and was conditioned to withstand freezing temperatures. Despite attempts by local scientists to rehabilitate Victor, he remained essentially mute until his death in 1828.

3. John Ssebunya, Uganda, 1991
• The subject of BBC’s documentary “Living Proof”, John fled to the jungle at the age of 4 after witnessing his father murder his mother. Three years later, he was found covered in body hair caused from malnutrition and had scars on his knees from crawling. John recovered and became heavily involved with music, eventually touring with the Pearl of Africa Children’s Choir.

2. Ivan Mishukov, Russia, 1998
• When 4-year-old Ivan ran away from home, he didn’t wind up in the wilderness like other feral children, but rather with a pack of wild dogs in the urban streets of Moscow. After he was unwillingly captured by authorities, Ivan re-entered civil life and regained his speaking abilities.

1. Oxana Malaya, Ukraine, 1991
• In what is one of the few videos of a feral child, Oaxana is shown behaving like the dogs that raised her for 8 years after she was abandoned by her alcoholic parents. She gives an interview at the end.

This past Sunday, President Obama gave a commencement speech at Notre Dame where he congratulated a championship outdoor basketball team called “Hallelujah Holla Back” – a Ghetto Revival catchphrase that I popularized on ego trip’s (White) Rapper Show . Pretty surreal. The moment was significant not only because it reinforced the phrase’s cultural relevancy, but also represented another historical moment of a commander in chief’s encounter with hip-hop culture. In honor of the recognition, here’s a look at some of the biggest moments of Hip-Hop’s Direct Interaction with the U.S. Presidency…

5. President George H. W. Bush Invites Eazy-E To The White House, 1991
• The late, great Eazy-E was a strategic donator. After forking over $2,500 to an anti-censorship GOP member, he was invited for lunch at the White House. Despite suspicions from the hip-hop community, Eazy defends his move in this clip as elaborate promotion. I see the vision!

4. President George H. W. Bush Denounces Ice-T’s “Cop Killer”, 1992
• After President Reagan’s era of increased poverty and drug abuse, his successor moved in to criticize the cultural backlash. Dubya’s dad never mentions Ice-T by name, but denounces his infamous record, “Cop Killer,” as “sick.” Ironically, one of Bush’s biggest supporters at the time, Arnold Schwarzenegger, “killed” hundreds of cops on the big screen. Apparently, entertainment is treated differently when it comes from an O.G.

3. Bill Clinton Criticizes Sister Souljah, 1992
• After the 1992 L.A. Riots, hip-hop artist and activist Sister Souljah was quoted as saying: “If black people kill black people every day, why not have a week and kill white people?” Bill Clinton, who was campaigning for the Presidency, chastised her remarks as fomenting racism. The outcry actually led to a healthy boost in Sister Souljah’s platform to voice her beliefs, most eloquently highlighted on this Donahue episode.

2. President George W. Bush Pardons John Forte, 2008
• As Dubya’s days as Prez wound down, his pardon game got interesting. No one really expected the former coke-head to release ex-Fugee member John Forte, who had spent seven years incarcerated for liquid cocaine possession. Although Forte has remained quiet about his opinions on Bush, he wasted no time getting back in the booth. The dope game’s hard but the rap game’s easy.

1. Barack Obama Gets The Dirt Off His Shoulders, 2008
• So far, Obama has been more of an ally than an adversary to the hip-hop community. In this famous clip from the campaign trail, he adopts Jay-Z’s mantra when describing how he responds to Hillary Clinton’s attacks. Looks like someone was feeling like a pimp.

After John McCain was defeated in the national election, commentators applauded his concession speech as one that promoted national unity following a racially-charged campaign. Basically, “thanks for not trying a coup, John.” But many sore losers still had a bone to pick with President Obama. Unsurprisingly, the latest snub comes from McCain’s home state, Arizona. Now don’t get me wrong, in no way am I lumping all people from AZ into this category. Clearly, racist fuckery exists all over. But there seems to be a pattern in recent Arizona history that makes you wonder who’s running things over there…*glares towards @janbrewer*

5. Barry Goldwater Supports Segregation, 1964
• Before the GOP officially embraced the so-called “southern strategy” to win elections – namely inciting racism for votes – Arizona Senator, Barry Goldwater, set the tone. He was the only politician who was not an overtly racist southern segregationist to vote against the Civil Rights Act of 1964. What a maverick! His career quickly excelled.

4. John McCain Votes Against Civil Rights Act, 1990
• McCain carried on the Goldwater tradition of creating a faux-persona of moderate conservatism, while in fact embracing extreme policies. He unapologetically voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1990, giving President George H.W. Bush the one vote he needed to become the first U.S. President to veto civil rights legislation. The Bush clan would later return the favor by smearing McCain’s family during the 2000primary. Class Acts.

3. Arizona Rejects MLK Day As A Federal Holiday, 1983
• It’s not a surprise that McCain vetoed the Civil Rights Act, considering that in 1983 he voted against declaring MLK day a national holiday. Despite protests, Arizona remains the only state in the union that does not officially acknowledge Martin Luther King’s birthday. 21st century FAIL.

2. White Arizona College Students Celebrate MLK Day in Black Face, 2007
• The racially twisted stances set by some Arizona political leaders clearly trickled down to segments of Arizona’s “I love college” population. In 2007, some students from the predominantly white University of Arizona took it upon themselves to celebrate MLK day in blackface as they dressed up as their “favorite black person”. Do something crazy!

1. ASU Refuses To Award Obama an Honorary Degree, 2009
• This investigative report by The Daily Show is as hilarious as it is disturbing. Hopefully, by the time I get to Arizona these douche bags will be the real public enemy. Here’s Obama’s response.

Every year, the media threatens mankind with extinction from a new exotic disease, forcing us to seek guidance from Sanjay Gupta. The fears are often exaggerated. But health officials would rather go to level red than possibly revisit a nightmare scenario of 1919 proportions, when an influenza pandemic killed 40-50 million people worldwide. Word. Here’s a look back at some of the more recent household-name pandemics we’ve battled…

BIRD FLU
• Often confused with a Gucci Mane mixtape of the same name, the Bird Flu is in fact a terrible sickness. First identified in Hong Kong in 1997, it wiped out millions of chickens in a few countries before killing 243 people globally. KFC, anyone? Oprah’s got coupons!

WEST NILE DISEASE
• This mosquito-transmitted virus spread to the Western Hemisphere in 1999 and claimed over 500 lives in the U.S. alone. Michael Moore’s Bowling For Columbine mocked the media coverage surrounding the virus, and its alleged ties to Western Africa. It’s safe to assume insect repellant companies made a killing.

SARS
• In early 2003, images of people rocking surgeon masks flooded primetime TV, as we learned about this cruel form of pneumonia, which essentially suffocates an individual to death. After spreading to over 37 countries within weeks, SARS took 774 lives globally with about 8100 cases of infection. By ‘06 it was deemed tame, but the ineffective surgical masks were here to stay.

SWINE FLU
• The feds actually declared a public health emergency two weeks ago to ramp-up awareness of this latest virus. Who knew? Not to belittle the seriousness or anything, but swine flu has claimed 27 deaths worldwide this year, while 43,000 people die annually from car accidents. One theory is that this “Mexican flu” is a distraction for Mexico’s current political situation – namely, the recent legalization of drugs. But it’s fair to say, “dope-sickness” is a global pandemic.

It’s hard to believe it’s been well over 100 days since I was running around frigid D.C. getting my inauguration on. But so far it looks like many of the hyperbolized fears stirred up about Obama have been debunked and Mr. 44 has emerged as a fairly competent leader in tumultuous times. Here’s a look at a highlight reel of his accomplishments at the 100 day mark…

5. EMBRACED MEDIA

• I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a “transparent presidency,” but compared to the Bush administration, it’s eye-opening. Whether it was his unprecedented appearance on The Tonight Show or his weekly youtube addresses, it’s clear that Obama plans to continue taking full advantage of the media tools that helped get him elected.
SIDEBAR: He jacked the weekly address idea from Hugo Chavez. No shots.


4. BEGAN LIFTING CUBA TRAVEL RESTRICTIONS

• Considering that Dubya’s grandpa, George Prescott Bush, lost considerable sugar cane plantations following the Cuban Revolution, it’s no surprise we had to wait for a new era before revising our relations with Cuba. The embargo is not yet lifted, but it’s a step in the right ethical direction.

3. GRADUALLY REVERSING BUSH POLICIES

• Although Bush’s slime ball sidekicks successfully pushed through some last minute legislation, Obama’s been gradually chipping away at various aspects of that evil administration. He exposed Bush’s memos outlining torture tactics, authorized the closing of Guantanamo Bay and now allows the press to photograph caskets of U.S. soldiers with family consent. And he’s only just scratched the surface.

2. ENGAGING THE MUSLIM WORLD

• The race-baiting and fear-mongering adopted by McCain’s campaign forced Obama to down-play his Muslim background and repeatedly embrace the Christian faith. But once he got elected, Obama wisely reached out to the Muslim world by granting his first formal interview with the Dubai-based Al-Arabiya news channel. Haters, start your engines!

1. PASSED LEGISLATION

• Despite the common urge to harangue our bureaucrats for gridlock incompetence, Obama has managed to pass a few bills in his first 100. In what was the biggest public spending bill since WWII, Obama was able to get “fiscal conservatives” to co-sign his $789 billion stimulus bill with hopes of re-boosting the economy. Not everyone was thrilled.

This past week, Obama made some controversial waves after deciding not to prosecute Bush’s masterminds of torture, despite releasing incriminating memos that detailed their illegal interrogation tactics. But the streets wanna know: Is the president our American Mandela, taking the wise high-road of reconciliation? Or is he merely a typical agent of political bitchassness—too shook to actually punish corrupt officials? Let’s look at some of the different arguments floating around…


5. SEAN HANNITY, Fox News
• Shockingly, Sean’s not buying into all the hoopla surrounding the enemies of freedom. Torture schmorture. Here, he actually offers to be waterboarded himself for charity. Make checks payable to Walter Reed Army Medical Facility, asshole.

4. MIKE GUY, Playboy
• Before opining on torture accusations, Playboy journalist, Mike Guy, underwent 15 seconds of waterboarding to see if it lived up to all the hype. No he’s not some sort of twisted sado masochist, but rather an empirical researcher. The result: “Hated it!”

3. PEGGY NOONAN, Wall Street Journal
• For Peggy, bad PR is torture. Here she expresses her sheer annoyance with the release of the memos. OMG, human rights are soooooo 2008.

2. SHEPARD SMITH, Fox News
• Shepard’s been trying to dig himself out of the creepy dark corners of right-wing propagandists. In this clip, he drops the f-bomb while confronting some sadistic proponents of coerced interrogation. It’s about f*ck!ng time.

1. MOVEON.ORG, Commercial
• In response to Obama’s cordiality, the left-wing political action committee, MoveOn.org, released this commercial demanding accountability. Call me biased, but I co-sign.