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How To Pick Up Female Voters On Election Day

Vote yes for sex!

You already know everything there is to know about Presidential Candidates John McCain and Barack Obama and their VeePeez Sarah Palin and Joe Biden (seriously, you’ve watched almost every episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The Colbert Report AND Saturday Night Live for like the past two weeks). Reading a few more propagandist leaflets while you wait on an historically long line to cast your vote will do you no good, so why not take the opportunity to pick up chicks?

With this in mind, Complex presents an analysis of all different types of female voters, from the far right to the far left, and how you can stuff their ballot box on Election Day. Fuck politics, it’s time to poll-a-trick!

Click here to find out about each type of girl you’ll encounter at the polls.

Vice President Rap Battle: Sarah Palin Vs. Joe Biden

Like prizefighters at a weigh-in, Vice Presidential candidates Sarah Palin and Joe Biden can’t wait until Thursday’s debate to tear each other apart. With everything on the line and so much smack to talk, they decided to take it to the streets and face off with raw battle raps (a proud tradition started by Spiro Agnew and Edmund Muskie in 1968). No teleprompters here. Just dirty politics at its dirtiest. Check our their verses below and vote to determine who goes into the debate with an edge…

Joe Biden and Joe Budden: Separated at Birth?

Today marks the third of four days at the Democratic National Convention, and tonight is the much-anticipated speech by presumptive vice-presidental nominee Joe Budden Biden. Sure, our prediction was spot on, because we’re nice like that, but we couldn’t help thinking that the Delaware senator has more in common with Jersey Joe than just a homophonic name (ayo!). In fact, if you break it down to the very last compound, Joe Biden is the Joe Budden of politics.

Peep the similarities before Senator Jumpoff grabs the mic tonight…