GQ JANUARY 2009

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Catch some behind-the-scenes footage from the set of Drake’s video for “Successful.” [Nah Right]

Find out how to look productive at work even when you’re tweeting and instant messaging all day. [Holy Taco]

This texting-while-driving PSA is one of the most intense we’ve ever seen. [PopCrunch]

These back-to-school hotties should make the return to campus a lot easier. [Coed Mag]

When everything else fails, looking at pics of scantily clad chicks is the way to go. [Double Viking]

There’s not much summer left to rock v-neck tees but these are dope last minute choices. [Daily Drop]

Seems like there’s always mixed opinions on Jennifer Aniston but she looks pretty hot to us here. [Flisted]

But before you get comfy in the theater and start playing Scrabble on your iPhone, there are five reasons why you might want to keep watching: Drew Barrymore, Scarlett Johansson, Ginnifer Goodwin, Jennifer Connelly and Jennifer Aniston. It’s rare that so many high-profile, attractive actresses all appear in one film, so perhaps this is a cause for hetero male celebration. Still, we’re not that into any of them. Check out our analysis of each starlet below, then vote for your least favorite one…

JENNIFER ANISTON

• We’re into her because she's turned into a firecracker of sorts. Talking shit about Brad Pitt and Angelia Jolie in magazine interviews, playing the role of a love scorned, bat-shit-crazy, nymphomaniac trifey on “30 Rock.”

• But we're just not that into her because she's obviously still livid about Angelina stealing her man. That lividness has also turned her into a love scorned, bat-shit-crazy, nymphomaniac trifey.

DREW BARRYMORE

• We’re into her because despite acting like a complete ditz, she does her part to help the world community by being named the Ambassador Against Hunger for the United Nations World Food Programme to which she’s donated over $1 million of her own money.

• But we’re just not that into her because… where do we start? The marriage to Tom Green along with a slew of other equally douchey guys with dubious fame credentials? The fact that she’s been snorting coke since she starred in E.T.? Not a good look.

JENNIFER CONNELLY

• We’re into her because besides the many duds she’s dropped during her career, when this Ivy league educated, tri-lingual beauty goes in, she goes in (see: Requiem for a Dream). She also has no problem dropping the top and letting the 32 C’s circulate (see: “The Hot Spot” and “Mulholland Falls”)

• But we’re just not that into her because she sometimes whores herself out for dough. Why else would she drop a single in Japan sang in phonetic Japanese or star in The Day The Earth Stood Still?

GINNIFER GOODWIN

• We're into her because she has real acting chops. Besides earning a MFA in acting from Boston University, Goodwin's got an Acting Shakespeare Certificate from Royal Academy of Dramatic Art.

• But we're just not that into her because because she’s the “homely” one in the movie. Sorry!

SCARLETT JOHANSSON

• We’re into her because when we look at her all we see are eyes, lips, breasts and more breasts. And she was down with Obama, earrrrly.

• But we’re just not that into her because we can't decide which turns us off more: the fact that Derek Jeter smashed and dashed, her questionable acting or her depressing-ass music.

But just because you’re bound to piss away two hours of your life that you’ll never see again doesn’t mean you can’t take steps to ease the pain. We’ve studied the five schlockiest flicks of this holiday season to help prepare you for the cinematic torture. Read on for our tips on surviving Marley & Me, Bedtime Stories, Doubt, Revolutionary Road and Seven Pounds…

MARLEY & ME
Jen Aniston+Owen Wilson+cute dog=Old Yeller x Mad About You (a.k.a. another argument for assisted suicide)

WHO’LL DRAG YOU TO IT: Your girlfriend
SYNOPSIS: Milquetoast white couple adopts puppy as baby substitute; said pup is adorably destructive and hijinks ensue; couple has kids; pooch grows up with family then shuffles off to canine heaven and waterworks ensue
RUNNING TIME: 115 minutes
HOW TO COPE: Commence heavy petting each time Marley chews up a couch
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BEDTIME STORIES
Adam Sandler is a doofus everyman (typecasting alert!)

WHO’LL DRAG YOU TO IT: Your niece and nephew
SYNOPSIS: Hotel janitor (Sandler) tells fanciful bedtime stories to his niece and nephew; stories start to come true; janitor uses this for his own sinister purposes (i.e. giving Keri Russell a wax and buff)
RUNNING TIME: 99 minutes
HOW TO COPE: Smoke weed. (note: NOT with your niece/nephew.)
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DOUBT
Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Meryl Streep realized they’d been in halfway interesting flicks lately (okay, just Hoffman) and decided to get back in touch with their boring movie base.

WHO’LL DRAG YOU TO IT: Your “touchy” uncle
SYNOPSIS: Nuns suspect a priest has molested the only black altar boy in a Catholic school & spend the rest of the flick trying to find out if he touched it or not
RUNNING TIME: 104 minutes
HOW TO COPE: Slap your uncle every time he reaches for the popcorn in your lap
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REVOLUTIONARY ROAD
Titanic minus the near-nude Kate Winslet and the boat sinking (i.e. the two scenes that made that movie worth watching)

WHO’LL DRAG YOU TO IT: Your older sister with the unfulfilled literary aspirations
SYNOPSIS: Suburban couple in 1950s Connecticut yearn for a more bohemian existence. Seriously, people spend 10 bucks to see this shit.
RUNNING TIME: 119 minutes
HOW TO COPE: Smoke Xanax.
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SEVEN POUNDS
Will Smith’s semi-annual tearjerker bid for an Academy Award. Can somebody please give homeboy a fucking Oscar so we can get Bad Boys III already?

WHO’LL DRAG YOU TO IT: Your mother
SYNOPSIS: IRS agent with a death wish (redundant?) looks for seven strangers to donate body parts/possessions to. Eff a spoiler alert.
RUNNING TIME: 118 minutes
HOW TO COPE: Tell moms the spoiler while you’re waiting in line and convince her to see The Wrestler instead

But last week she fired a couple of darts Angelina’s way and also gave a scene-stealing performance on 30 Rock. And while a cursory look at her resume might indicate pretty solid wifey status, upon closer examination, JA may have more of the trifey in her than you’d think.

Click here to see the evidence and cast your vote…