Complex Blog » Jay Leno

eBay’s Most Disgusting Celebrity Auctions

justinm — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 21:01:53 +0000

Think Scarlett Johansson is too classy to auction off a used tissue for charity? She snot.

Scarlett Johansson gives and gives. First The Spirit star blessed the world with huge twos and horrendous acting, and now she’s making money for the charity USA Harvest by auctioning off a snot-soaked tissue she blew her nose with on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno (bless you very much, peons).

Scar-Jo is continuing a rather disturbing trend of getting fans to pay big money to for a little celebrity DNA. If you ask us, we should be showering her with DNA. But if you think she’s cool for this, hey, blow your nose, then blow it out your ass. And while you’re at it, check out more ridiculous DNA-licious celebrity memorabilia auction items.

COREY HAIM’S TEETH AND PUBIC HAIR

• When he was a successful actor and heartthrob, all the girls wanted a piece of him. After years of drug addiction, those lucky ladies finally got their shot when he put his authentic decaying teeth and pubes up for auction on eBay so he could buy more drugs. Dreamy.

TIGER WOODS’S APPLE CORE

• At the 2008 U.S. Open, a fan snagged an apple core Tiger discarded and padded his daughter’s college fund by auctioning it off online for $36,000. We can only imagine how much peanuts dug out of his shit would fetch. That’s an asshole in one!

BRITNEY SPEARS’S GUM

• Brit likes to chew gum and douche bags like to follow her around to pick it up and auction it off to psycho fans after she’s spat it out. As far as we’re concerned, when a chick spits and we’re left examining teeth marks, nobody gets paid.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE’S FRENCH TOAST

• In 2000, a piece of French toast that Justin Timberlake took a bite out of at a New York radio station sold on eBay for $3,154. Extra syrup was not included, as buying JT’s partially-eaten breakfast is already incredibly soft and sweet.

BRYAN ADAMS’S SOCKS

• For $1,000, a female fan bought sweaty socks Canadian rocker Bryan Adams left behind in a car after a concert in Wales. She said she planned to wear them to see his concert. Hopefully she did. And got athlete’s foot. Size 13. Right up her silly bunghole.

SHIA LABEOUF’S UNDERWEAR

• These tighty whiteys Shia wore in the 2006 indie flick A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints went up for auction and included “makeup stains, dirt, etc.” In eBay parlance, “etc.” is short for LaBeefaroni skid marks.

We Applauded Greek Goddesses

Joe — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 23:32:57 +0000

Greece is currently in a state of mayhem, but there's no reason for us to not appreciate its land's Hellenic beauties. [LINK]

Hate him or love him we're stuck with Jay “Botoxed Chin” Leno. So we decided to come up with some ways to make his show tighter. [LINK]

What will be the fate of CC. Sabathia now that he got signed to the Evil Empire? Well, here's a list of some others who got fucked over. [LINK]

Yes Soulja Boy did hurt the feelings of some OGs, and disturbed the ears of purists. But he kept coming at youuuu! with a new album (iSouljaBoyTellEm), a new video game in development, and a burgeoning sneaker game that’s gunning for Bow Wow’s throat. Watch out for the youngest in charge. [LINK]

Our Thug Ethicist Max B helps our readers with their day-to-day tribulations. But this time the wavy one gets hit with a question that even he has difficulty answering. [LINK]

And From The Complex Network:

Nah Right: N.A.S.A ft. Kanye West, Santogold, and Lykke Li were “Gifted”. [LINK]

Bastardly: Are we really surprised another Kardashian is naked? [LINK]

KicksOnFire: Converse x UNDFTD Poorman’s Weapon. [LINK]

Das Gamer: Steven Spielberg shits on video games [LINK]

On Smash: J.R Writer went hard (pause) at Max B. [LINK]

Nice Kicks: LA Gear is bringing back their vintage styles [LINK]

How To Make Jay Leno’s New Show Less Lame

jerwin — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 22:49:03 +0000

From the “I Thought We Were Rid of That Guy” division of the Department of “Not So Fast” comes the news today that Jay Leno will be given a new daily show in the 10 pm time slot on NBC next year. Four years ago, the network announced that Conan O’Brien would take over the Tonight Show in May of ‘09, and it was ~~hoped~~ assumed that Leno would ride one of his antique motorcycles off into the sunset. Now it turns out Chin Gigantic is gonna get his own primetime show, and it seems like he’s determined to use the same ol’ shitty template.

Of course, that shitty template goes over real well in the heartland (he’s beaten Letterman for 11 straight seasons), but we won’t lie: we hate it. So we’ve come up with 5 things Jay can do to not suck so bad when his new show starts. Read on for our sure-shot suggestions…

CLICK HERE TO SEE OUR SUGGESTIONS…

Jay Leno’s ‘Tankcar’ Rolls Heavy Through Pebble Beach

dscott — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 23:10:06 +0000

In case you didn’t know, Jay Leno’s a f*ckin’ boss. Yeah, his jokes make you cringe at times and his chin is so big that rappers compare their wealth to it, but he’s one of the most bankable dudes on TV. And he’s crazy paid. Fortune Magazine estimated that since he took over the Tonight Show from Johnny Carson in ‘92, he’s generated close to $1 billion for NBC. So where does all that money go? Straight into his 17,000 sq-ft garage.

In there, he has everything from a one-off EcoJet jet-powered car he built with GM to this heavily customized 1953 Chrysler hotrod he brought to this years Pebble Beach Concours d’Elegance car show. Nicknamed the Tankcar, this phallic Chrysler is powered by a 1792 cid V-12 Continental-designed, Chrysler-built turbocharged tank engine that’s reported to put out some ungodly amount of power in the 1,600 hp range. To improve gas mileage on this beast, it was reported that he switched out its original three speed transmission for an Allison six speed. But we can’t see Leno giving a damn about gas. Check out more photos below.

[Autoblog]