Music Complex Exclusive! A Look Inside R. Kelly’s Mansion

In a stunning P.R. move, embattled and possibly insane R&B legend R. Kelly invited a gang of “music journalists” to his house in the Chicago suburbs last night, where he previewed tracks from his upcoming album and generally made the journalists feel important and more likely to not judge Kellz for his allegedly freaky tendencies. And it worked! Everyone from cable TV titans to our favorite radio employee wrote glowing accounts of the evening. Are we sad we weren’t invited?

Well, yes and no. Yes because we found it odd that we’re deemed not as important as people whose contribution to journalism amounts to a Blogspot account, and no because WE WENT TO HIS HOUSE ANYWAY, BITCHES*. What, you thought Complex wouldn’t find a way around some bullshit-ass guard dogs? Not only did we go, but we went rogue in that piece like Jack muhfuckin’ Bauer. Get ready for a look inside R. Kelly’s crib, Complex-style….

Music An Exclusive Excerpt From Jay-Z’s Book “Decoded”

People love to talk about lyrics: punchlines, puns, double meanings, you name it. And no one is as fond of his own cleverness as one Shawn Carter. To that end, Jiggaman has reportedly inked a deal to write a book called Decoded, wherein he delves into his own inexhaustible arsenal of wit and wordplay to explain what he meant by many of his favorite lines. “I’m gonna pick the select ones,” he told a radio DJ, “all the double entendres and things that people may have missed or may have gotten and want confirmation on it.” Forgive us if we were a little skeptical at first, but it just didn’t sound like anything we’d want to shell out $24.95 for ($9.95 for the Kindle edition—holla at us, Jeff Bezos!).

But as with so many times before, it turned out that we were wrong. We got a look at a preview of Decoded, and the shit is absolute fire! If you thought you knew what was going through Jay’s mind when he penned his joints (without the pen), you had no idea. Even his not-so-incredible tracks are testament to his penchant for cryptic allusion and restless philosophical examination. Don’t believe us? Peep the excerpt below* to see the thought process behind his 2003 hit “Change Clothes.” And you thought it was just about girls and brand names…

Events R.I.P. George Carlin

Yesterday, we lost one of the true O.G. characters of our culture when George Carlin passed away from heart failure at the age of 71. In the world of stand-up comedians, this New York City native is one of the profession’s true icons, rivaled only by legends like Richard Pryor.

Known for pushing taboo subjects and challenging societal norms, he is the reason why the FCC has so much power over the content that we hear on the airwaves today. Back in 1973, an angry father complained about Carlin’s “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television” routine being broadcast on the radio, which led directly to a landmark Supreme Court decision that gave the FCC the power to determine what is and what is not “indecent.” Learn more about this comedy God by watching some classic clips below.

Art Furry Kama Sutra Brings Out Our Animal Instinct

After Entourage’s Turtle and Johnny Drama had a run in with a pink bunny suit last summer, it seems like furry sex is all the rage. You know, sometimes you’ve gotta throw the 'ol chicken suit on your girl and give her a good pluckin’. Perfectly natural.

Well now, New York-based photographer Michael Cogliantry is showing off his Furry Kama Sutra photos with a new exhibit. For the series, he shot his costumed subjects in some of Las Vegas’ most colorful “by the hour” rooms in a tribute to the classic Indian sex guide. Unfortunately, the limited edition photo book with white furry cover is sold out, but you can catch his work this Friday at the Nemo Gallery in Portland, Oregon. Check out Cogliantry’s website for background, or check out more hot furry action after the jump.

Girls Kristen Bell Supports The McLovin’ Fund

On Sunday night, Comedy Central broadcast The Night of Too Many Stars, a benefit for autism education. As part of the festivities, Judd Apatow directed a series of mock PSAs based on NBC’s classic “The More You Know” spots (renamed here as “Know More Things”). The Hayden Panettiere Sexual Harassment message leaked out last week on FunnyOrDie, and now a new one starring Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s Kristen Bell and Superbad’s Christopher Mintz-Plasse has popped up. This time, KB is begging viewers to donate to the McLovin’ Fund, because Mintz-Plasse will never work again and is destined for a life of poverty and substance abuse. Comedy! Check it out after the jump.

Girls Hayden Panettiere’s Sexual Harassment PSA

Cheerleaders are not funny. Neither are teen actresses. But in a new video from Will Farrell’s site Funny Or Die, Heroes‘ P.Y.T. Hayden Panettiere gives the whole humor thing a go. “Sexual harassment is wrong, even if it makes you feel good,” she says with a straight face. Watch the video after the jump.

Movies Watch Scenes From Harold & Kumar 2

In case you haven’t noticed our new cover, we’re very excited about the upcoming release of Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. We’ve already talked to Kal Penn and John Cho, and even interviewed the directors, but damn, we just wanna see the movie already. Luckily, 5 scenes from the movie have leaked, and they’re as hilarious as we had hoped. Watch 'em after the jump.

Sports Golf Gets People Pumped, Awkwardly

The first round of the Masters kicked off today at Augusta National, the temple of golf and discrimination against women. Flip on the tube for your fair share of sun dappled fairways, legions of white people, and, of course, plenty of golf face. The above shot of Tiger Woods, taken after he won the Arnold Palmer Invitational, is just a taste of the kind of orgasmic joysplosion that putting a small white ball into a cup can bring. Since the Masters has rolled around we’ve put together a gallery of A-list awkward victory moments. We’re not saying these dudes shouldn’t get stoked about pocketing major cash. But at the end of the day, this ain’t the major leagues, or hockey, or even lawn darts. It’s just…golf.