Mary Carey Could Be The Next Hillary
With Hillary Clinton’s admission that she’s (finally) dropping out of the race, it must be a sad day for women in politics. But to all the girls out there worried that we might never see a female in power, we have an exciting announcement: porn star Mary Carey is back in the political arena.
Yep, the Double-D dynamo who ran for California Governor against Arnold in 2003 and again for Lieutenant Governor in 2006 has announced that she’ll be on the ballot this November for the California State Assembly election. In a statement about her new campaign, she said, “I want to energize people into caring about local politics again—much like we’ve seen in the national primaries. But unlike one of the presidential primary contenders, I’m actually a politician you’d want to get screwed by!” Ouch.
And Clinton better watch her back, because M.C. might be giving her a run for her money if she still wants the job in 8 years. In her gubernatorial concession speech, Mary let her true ambition shine: “Thirteen years from now, when I’m old enough to be eligible, you may see my name on a presidential ballot!” For a refresher on Mary Carey’s nuanced policies, watch a TV ad from her 2003 campaign below.
Amidst weak debates and back-and-forth tussles to take home Pennsylvania’s primary championship belt, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama made time to tap into the WWE’s fan-base for a short P.S.A. Full of past and present WWE clichés, Hillary adopted the wrestling alias of “Hill-Rod” while Obama asked fans if they smell what “Ba-Rock was cookin’.” Republican nominee John McCain also took place in the awkward triple-threat attempt at pleasing the wrestling faithful by not only pronouncing Barack wrong, but also doing the worst rendition of Hulk Hogan’s “Hulkamaniacs” shtick ever. We’re hearing crickets, but see for yourself after the jump.
