All we know is that they’d have an easier time convincing the public to buy the new AfroMan album than they would convincing them to buy a Hummer. Maybe they could highlight all the good times the public has shared with the car. Don’t remember any? Don’t worry, we’ve compiled a couple of our favorite Hummer moments to jog your memory…


Hummer Comes to America, 1991

Originally created as a new age transport vehicle for the armed forces, the AM General’s (not to be confused with General Motors) High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle (or HMMWV, bka Humvee) was the most raw and rugged SUV you could buy. Well, it would have been if you could buy it. At the behest of some wealthy Humvees (including Cali’s future Governor), AM General decided to make civilian versions of the Humvee under the brand name Hummer.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Gets the First Hummer, 1992

When they finally hit the streets, the first person in line was, of course, Mr. Terminator himself. We know how happy dude was, but he could have gone without shaking his glutes for the audience.

Master P’s “Bout Dat” Video, 2000

Be honest—when you saw this video, you wanted a stretch Hummer limo for your prom (along with the strippers). And, come on: “Bentleys and Hummers; lil daddy, we bout dat!”

Criss Angel Transforms a Toy Hummer Into a Real Hummer, 2008

Why was Criss Angel always doing magic tricks in parking lots in Vegas? Oh yeah, he’s a douche.

The Hummer Goes Electric!, 2009

What, you thought Arnold was gonna give up his Hummer just because they’re supposedly bad for the planet? FOH! That’s like him not doing Terminator 3 just because he was too old to play the part and the story made less sense than DJ Webstar having his own label. Before GM kicked the bucket, Arnold went to Washington to speak on behalf of Raser Electrics 100 mpg (as long as you didn’t drive more than 60 miles) EV Hummer.

Yesterday, Kevin McHale abandoned his post as Vice President of Basketball Operations for the Minnesota Timberwolves and took over for the team’s fired head coach, Randy Wittman, whose record in Minny was 38-105 (woof). This isn’t the first time the GM has jacked a coach’s job. In 2005, he replaced Flip Saunders and posted a respectable 19-12 record in the interim, then expressed no desire to keep Minnesota’s head coaching position (a.k.a. repeated doggy-style ass-rape by the rest of the NBA).

Now McHale, who sucks so bad as a GM that his greatest T-Wolves achievement is trading Kevin Garnett to the Celtics so Boston could win a championship, will coach full-time because nobody else can win with the shit teams he puts together. And McHale is only the latest GM to move in on the coach’s slot (pause) when the previous sideline stalker got axed.

Read on for five more ambitious GMs...