When we had a chance to talk to Flav recently, we decided to flip the script and ask him some offbeat questions. What we got in return were some answers that would seem terribly awkward coming from anyone else. Read on to learn about dog-shit cracker sandwiches and how Flav lost his virginity at the tender age of six.

Interview by Joe La Puma

Complex: What would you consider to be your superpower?

Flavor Flav: What do I consider to be my superpower? God. God is my superpower. The Lord Jesus Christ the savior. The creator of the universe. He gives me the power to have a crazy personality that's a lot different from everybody else's.

Complex: So what's the best trick you ever played on someone?

Flavor Flav: The best trick I ever played on someone was putting tacks on my teacher's seat, and when she came to chase me out the class I had a string over the door, I jumped over the string, and she tripped over it and fell in the hallway. She fucked her face on the wall.

Complex: How much trouble you get in for that one?

Flavor Flav: Honestly, I got suspended for three weeks. And my mom beat me when I got home.

Complex: What was the worst trick someone ever played on you?

Flavor Flav: Umm, the worst trick someone ever played on me was when someone put a booger in my hamburger and I ate it.

Complex: How you find out?

Flavor Flav: Nah, I'll tell you the truth okay… For the person that put the booger on my hamburger, I got him back by taking some dog shit and putting it on the Ritz Crackers and he ate that shit.

Complex: [Laughs] So was he tight?

Flavor Flav: Was he pissed? He was shitted for reals! (Laughs) Yea, forreal G. He put a booger on my hamburger so I got him with thinking peanut butter cookie sandwich it was dog shit.

Complex: Speaking of food, I guess, What's your favorite food to barbecue?

Flavor Flav: My favorite food to barbecue is ribs, and chicken. And shrimp! Ribs, chicken, and shrimps! And I like barbeque my steaks! Oh man~~~ Come on! I'm one of the best barbequeist in the world.

Complex: What's your most prized possession?

Flavor Flav: My most prized possession right now is a coo-coo clock that was made for me over in Switzerland. When we were over in Switzerland, they made a Flav Coo-Coo clock. And when it strikes three o'clock you got little Flav that comes out and say “YeahhhhhBoy! YeahhhhhBoy!”

Complex: (Laughs) What movie have you seen the most times?

Flavor Flav: Scarface. That's my favorite movie of all time.

Complex: Whom do you have beef with?

Flavor Flav: I don't have beef with nobody. I eat pork.

Complex: What celebrity intimidates you?

Flavor Flav: Umm…let me see. Well, Denzel Washington that's my man. I love Denzel. I've met Denzel twice in my life, and every time I've met Denzel I was crazy star struck G.

Complex: Where did you lose your virginity?

Flavor Flav: Where did I lose my virginity? I lost my virginity in the bushes on a box.

Complex: Really?

Flavor Flav: Yea, in the bushes on a box. A girl and me were having sex on a box in the bushes, in some big tall bushes.

Complex: How uh…when was this?

Flavor Flav: This was when I was real, real, real, real, young.

Complex: Like elementary school? Or middle school?

Flavor Flav: Nah, I'm a tell you the truth; I lost my virginity when I was 6 years old.

Complex: Really?

Flavor Flav: Yea, man. Because you know we learned to have done the nasty back in the days, and me and this girl we experiment, we were experimenting, and my little joint got hard, I penetrated for about a few seconds.

Complex: I respect that. Early start my man.

Flavor Flav: That's right early start and guess what and I have a great finish right now. [Laughs] Yessir!

Yes, Under One Roof premieres tonight on MyNetwork TV, the only network brave enough to shoulder the tradition of pro-black television classics like The Secret Diaries of Desmond K. Pfeiffer and Homeboys From Outer Space. And judging from the show's intro (watch it after the jump), Flav does his predecessors proud. Lovable eye-bugging ex-con forced to live with a tight-assed light-skinded jive turkey? Hilarity muthafuckin' ensues, boyee! Rumor has it Bill Cosby is attending the premiere with a bomb strapped to his chest. Woooooowwwwwww.

Tag Heuer: Founded in 1860, now endorsed by the likes of Tiger Woods. It’s signature accuracy (up to 1/1000th of a second) is way more precise than pronouncing Cablinasian.

Bell & Ross: Since establishing itself in the ’90s, the fairly young company carved a niche in professional fields from nautical, to aviation, to even bomb experts. No, not the kind for pulling Danny Glover off toilets.

Hublot: Satin finished steel, titanium screws, and a tougher-than-leather rubber band are just a few of the ingrediendts built-to-last from Hublot. Wipe down this hand-me-down for the ages.

U-Boat: The movement (gears and inner workings) are Swiss made, and the crocodile strap is Italian. An international collaboration for pimping all over the world, of course at a pricetag of $4,500.

Omega: The only thing better than sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads is a watch with a frickin’ laser beam. Sorry, not this one, yet. The upgraded James Bond Omega Seamaster Diver self-winds, and has a black face in comparison to it’s blue-ish doppleganger. Thanks Q.

• Teacher’s pet: Weezy made a surprise stop at his former stomping grounds Eleanor McMain Secondary School in New Orleans. He thanked students for designing a party invite and then politely declined an invitation to go to the prom. Check the uneventful video here. Oh, and he also announced that Tha Carter III will finally be released in April.

• Lunar: Although we like to think Page Six does their best to get the story right, it’s very hard to believe this Damon Dash got scared of the Moon story.

• Roots: Check out this interview with ?uestlove. He talks about sampling, being hard on Puffy back in the day, and how good the new N.E.R.D record was that he previewed, “Like, I think Pharrell got something in his soul that’s just saying, “I can’t rely on just my good looks and fashion sense. Muhfuckas are tryna count me out, and I got to not just come back, but really kick their ass.” I mean, the four or five songs I heard, it’s like, this dude is coming back like he got a score to settle.

• Sour taste?: Here’s at least 8 reasons why Flavor Flav is starting to lose all respect.