Complex Blog » Election

How To Pick Up Female Voters On Election Day

justinm — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:13:06 +0000

Vote yes for sex!

You already know everything there is to know about Presidential Candidates John McCain and Barack Obama and their VeePeez Sarah Palin and Joe Biden (seriously, you’ve watched almost every episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The Colbert Report AND Saturday Night Live for like the past two weeks). Reading a few more propagandist leaflets while you wait on an historically long line to cast your vote will do you no good, so why not take the opportunity to pick up chicks?

With this in mind, Complex presents an analysis of all different types of female voters, from the far right to the far left, and how you can stuff their ballot box on Election Day. Fuck politics, it’s time to poll-a-trick!

Click here to find out about each type of girl you’ll encounter at the polls.

Party Or Die At Complex’s Election Celebration

treats — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:30:49 +0000

Where will you be on election night? After all the speeches (*cough* battle raps), debates, and yesterday’s never-ending infomercial it all boils down to Tuesday November 4th. One thing’s for sure, you don’t want to be alone as the votes get tallied when the win goes to (___).

With that in mind, Complex brings to you one big blowout party hosted by renowned journalist Kevin Powell (former Real World: New York cast member). The festivities will go down at club Element in New York’s Lower East Side with music provided by DJ Beverly Bond, and DJ Misbehaviour. Until the biggest Super Tuesday ever, get hyped on the full flyer below…

Is Jim Jones Obama’s New Foreign Policy Advisor?

bfred — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 17:55:23 +0000

Last night, we were watching the final Presidential debate between Barack Obama and John McCain when something caught us off guard. After refuting his alleged Bill Ayers association, Obama started to list the people he would actually call on to advise him once inside the White House:

“…If I’m interested in figuring out my foreign policy, I associate myself with my running mate, Joe Biden or with Dick Lugar, the Republican ranking member on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, or General Jim Jones, the Former Supreme Allied Commander…”

Wait, wait, rewind the tape…did he just say he’d be calling on the Capo to help him with his foreign policy? We don’t know of any “General Jim Jones,” so we can only assume that there will be a major Kufi smack coming to Iraq next year if Obama wins*. Watch the debate clip where Jimmy gets a shout-out below…

*Okay, so Obama is actually referring to Retired General James L. Jones, a former NATO commander who was on his shortlist of Vice Presidential running mates. We think Jimmy still might be a better choice.

Campaign Songs John McCain Could Actually Use

jerwin — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 21:29:03 +0000

Poor John McCain. When it comes to music, dude is more dissed than William Hung. John Cougar Mellencamp, Heart, Jackson Browne, and now the Foo Fighters have all asked him to stop playing their songs at his campaign rallies. But the old dude’s got to have some tunes for his get-togethers, right?

Cue Complex. Ever the non-partisan political helpers, we’ve found five possible theme songs for McCain to use in the last weeks of the presidential campaign. Listen to the bangers we came up with for the Republican candidate below…

SONG: “WARRIOR”
ARTIST: LLOYD BANKS

LISTEN:
The hook says it all: “I never run, never snitch…don’t change ’cause he’s rich.” McCain spent five years as a POW without revealing military secrets, so he should be the “Stop Snitching” poster boy! And despite six or seven or eight or how many houses he owns, he’s still the same ornery cuss he’s always been! Although the Obama camp might play on the “head full of anger” line in the first verse.

SONG: “OLD MAN”
ARTIST: NEIL YOUNG

LISTEN:
Sure, Johnny Mac’s not really trying to draw attention to his age too much, but he is trying to connect with the youth, so the theme of shared generational struggle should work well. Plus, the pairing with Neil actually makes McCain look younger.

SONG: “TORTURE”
ARTIST: THE CURE

LISTEN:
“I’m in the room without a light/The room without a view…It tortures me to move my hands.” Damn, McCain could’ve written this song himself! And we’re sure he’ll look better with a little makeup.

SONG: “RYDE OR DIE, BITCH”
ARTIST: THE LOX

LISTEN:
Pretty self-evident, no?

SONG: “FUCK YOU NIGGA”
ARTIST: SOULJA SLIM

Kidding! Although it might charge up some of his supporters…