If you’re having trouble with caring and shopping for denim, we have you covered. [LINK]

After she caught some feelings for no reason, we gave Amanda Diva the wifey/trifey treatment. [LINK]

This new deep red Vans Era caught the attention of sneaker heads. [LINK]

If you thought Eddy Curry was the first Knick involved in a sex scandal, you were mistaken. [LINK]

And From The Complex Network:
Nah Right: Listen to Nas’s “The World” track that was produced by Kanye West. [LINK]

KicksOnFire: Nike is getting set to drop this fresh new pair of Air Max 1’s in a grey, white, and obsidian colorway. [LINK]

NiceKicks: Check out the upcoming spring collection from Gravis Skateboarding. [LINK]

OnSmash: Young Buck should stay away from the phone, unless he’s making a “Murda Call”. [LINK]

Bastardly: American Idol contestant Casey Carlson, proved she is still a sight to be seen in her bikini photo shoot. [LINK]

Slamxhype.com: Get yourself one of these web exclusive plaid shirts from neighborhood. [LINK]

First things first: at this point the allegations in the sexual harassment lawsuit filed against New York’s belittled center Eddy Curry yesterday are just that'allegations. But they’re totally bizarre, and given the Knicks’ recent history, totally in keeping with the spirit of the team (OK, so the loaded gun and the Cam’ron lyrical references are a new touch). Don’t believe us? Peruse our history of Knicks sex scandals and judge for yourself…

EDDY CURRY AND HIS DRIVER
• Curry’s hired driver of three years David Kuchinsky alleges that the chronically overweight and under-rebounding Knick propositioned him multiple times, including approaching him in the nude and asking him to “come and touch it.” Kuchinsky’s lawsuit also claims that Curry called him a “cracker” and, almost as bad, pointed a loaded gun at him on two occasions. If true, these allegations would make Kuchinsky the second most abused driver in the Tri-State area’s NBA history.

ISIAH THOMAS AND ANUCHA BROWNE SANDERS
• The Knicks were forced to pay Sanders $11.6 million to settle the sexual harassment suit she filed against Thomas. A former team executive, Sanders alleged that Thomas called her a bitch after she spurned his sexual advances. Fortunately Knicks fans do not face similar punishment for calling Thomas a bitch for spurning any semblance of common sense in constructing a basketball team.

ANTHONY MASON AND THE UNDERAGE GIRLS
• In 1998 Mason pleaded guilty to child endangerment charges after he and his cousin were initially charged with statutory rape for allegedly having sex with a 14-year-old and 15-year-old girl. The more serious charges against Mason were dropped after DNA tests failed to link him to the girls (to this day prosecutors are miffed that pictures of the phrase “Mase was here” written in the girls’ hair were deemed inadmissable).

PATRICK EWING AND THE GOLD CLUB
• Yes Virginia, there is sex in the champagne room (provided you’re a 7 foot tall multimillionaire basketball star). Knick icon Ewing was the first athlete to testify in the prostitution trial of the owners of Atlanta’s Gold Club, who were alleged to have paid dancers at their strip joint to service high profile clients. Pat copped to receiving two blowjobs, but denied being a john since he didn’t pay for anything (makes sense to us).

STEPHON MARBURY AND THE INTERN
• During the Thomas-Sanders sexual harassment trial, it came to light that the Knicks star-crossed point guard had had sex with a team intern in the back of his SUV. The intern freely conceded to a tryst with Stephon (unconfirmed accounts of her testimony claim that she admitted to “passing about as much as he does”). However she vehemently denied manufacturing and selling bootleg Starburys.

It’s been a long off-season for the New York Knicks and their number one supporter, Captain Knick (they get considerably longer when you’re eliminated from playoff contention a month into the season). After hiring new General Manager Donnie Walsh and replacing disgraced Coach and Chief Executive Officer of Sexual Harassment and Xenophobia Isiah Thomas with former Phoenix Suns coach Mike D’Antoni, there’s reason to believe something better is in store for the Big Apple.

Look, the preseason hasn’t even begun and already the Knicks are tied for first place! Before they lose a game and the shine wears off, check out five reasons Cappy is amped for the ‘08-’09 season…


INTERNATIONAL INCIDENTS!
They call Gallinari “The Rooster,” but he’s no cockboy.
In his first draft as Knicks GM, Walsh ended Thomas’s policy of never drafting foreigners by selecting 20-year-old Italian small forward Danilo Gallinari. The main question surrounding him is not how quickly he will develop against bigger, stronger opponents but how much MSG will play up his ethnic white-dentity for fans passionate about all things pale. Like the Mets, who play Dropkick Murphy’s “Shipping up to Boston” as walk-up music for Floridian “McOutfielder” Daniel “Danny Boy” Murphy, the Knicks are not above playing JumboTron clips of Rocky, selling cannolis at concession stands, and having the Knick City Strippers Dancers break out the Tarantella! Viva Italia!

HEART-POUNDING ACTION!
Eddy Curry heart conditions NY.
An out of shape starting center with heart problems whose specialty is planting his plentiful cellulite in the post gets a new coach who employs a fast-paced, seven-seconds-or-less offense! Sounds like sitcom gold, but it’s reality TV for the Knicks! Tune in to see how high Coach D’Antoni can push Eddy “I sweat Twinkie filling” Curry’s heart rate before his heart explodes! Then what will all those hateful bastards who said he had no heart say?

EXPIRING CONTRACTS!
You’re offering a paper bag for Marbury…? Deal!
Normally, when saddled with underperforming players’ big contracts, you’d try to trade them away for a mayonnaise sandwich. Seeing as no team wants to disrespect a mayo sammie by taking NY’s trash, the Knicks are stuck waiting for shitty contracts to expire. Stephon Marbury (owed $21,937,500 this season) and Malik Rose ($7,647,500) come off the books at the end of the year, which means that with every game the Knicks are a $360,792.68 hemorrhage closer to financial flexibility. For anyone scoring, that’s 29,585,000 L’s and one huge win!

SPAR-BURY!
Two men enter, one man leaves. It’s a Marbury-D’Antoni cage match, bitches!
Wild card Stephon Marbury has publicly feuded with his last two coaches and officially challenged Ron Artest for the title of NBA’s craziest player, but he’s apparently in the best shape of his career (he’s even got an upcoming fitness video'available for the holidays!'to prove it). After initially declaring himself the team’s starting point guard, he said he’d accept any role when word leaked that Coach D’Antoni prefers him as a shooting guard off the bench. Starbury’s deference should last about a New York minute'coincidentally as long as it takes him to ask an intern if she wants to fuck in his truck.

LOW EXPECTATIONS!
If you set the bar low enough, the Knicks will still trip over it.
After tying the club’s worst record (23-59) twice in three years, even the most optimistic fans aren’t planning their year around a trip to the post-season. A new coach and GM is great, but the team is still stuck waddling around with the skid marks of the Isiah Thomas era on its compression shorts. And when you’re playing to lose just a little less, you’ve already won.

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Right now, E.C. is at a 6 out of a pussible, er, possible 10. To his credit, Curry finally snapped on Coach Zeke (albeit passive aggressively and through the media) for benching him and saying that the NBA is now a “small man’s game” (tiny pause). But Captain Knick thinks there’s only one thing he can do to truly shed the soft label'choke Isaiah the fuck out. Hell, Zeke would respect the move even as Curry’s sausage links were squeezing the “No comments” out of his windpipe. It also goes without saying that this manner of on-court choking would make Heart Condition an instant fan favorite. I hear veteran coach choker and former Knick Latrell Sprewell is broke, so maybe he’d take a paycheck to demonstrate how it’s done.