Mayfield is hardly the first celebrity to fall victim to the rural bathtub drug. The truth is, deep, deep down, celebrities are ordinary people—except they have way more money for drugs, way more free time for drugs, and way more get out of jail free cards than the average Joe does when it comes to drugs. Don’t believe us? Read on to see 10 celebs who love (or have loved) their crank, regardless of what Johnny Law has to say about it…

Jodie Sweetin
LOW POINT: The cast of Full House staged an intervention in 2004.
• A Tanner family intervention—how charmingly Hollywood. It’s hard to imagine what Bob Saget and the Olsen twins could possibly say about the dangers of addiction, but somehow it pushed Sweetin into rehab.

Craig Robinson
LOW POINT: Arrested on June 29, 2008 for possession of meth, coke, and ecstasy.
• The Office must be paying pretty well. We can’t believe he did all three of ‘em…”that’s what she said!”

Nicole Bobek
LOW POINT: Arrested on July 7, 2009 for conspiracy to distribute meth.
• Making ends meet is tough when you’re an unemployed figure skater who also has an affinity for crystal meth. Just because you’re good on ice doesn’t mean you should start selling it. Pow!

Eddie Van Halen
LOW POINT: Entered rehab in 2007 for several addictions, meth being one of them.
• Crazy Eddie is a legend. At least he didn’t try to snort his father’s dead ashes like Keith Richards did.

Yasmine Bleeth
LOW POINT: Entered rehab in 2000 for cocaine and meth addiction.
• At the height of her addiction, Bleeth says she would go on benders where she wouldn’t sleep for up to five days. At the height of our addiction to watching her on Baywatch, we’d stare at her twos for up to five days.

Ryan O’Neal
LOW POINT: Arrested with son Redmond on September 17, 2008 for possession of meth.
• During a routine probation visit for a previous drug offense, Farah Fawcett’s ex-husband was dragged off to jail with his son after authorities found meth strewn about the house. Dad of the year? We think not.

Ted Haggard
LOW POINT: On November 3, 2006, evangelical pastor Haggard admitted to the press he purchased meth from a male prostitute.
• Apparently when he wasn’t berating homosexuals for not respecting the sanctity of marriage. Teddy spent his days cheating on his wife and getting cranked up with a male hooker named Mike Jones. Who?

Tom Sizemore
LOW POINT: Arrested for possession of meth on May 8, 2007 while already on probation for a previous drug conviction.
• Sizemore just can’t stay out of trouble. Dude has been arrested almost as many times as he’s starred in movies. No like really, he’s a drug addict. That’s not funny.

Lalaine Vergara Paras
LOW POINT: Charged with possession of meth in July 2007.
• Lalaine starred in Disney’s Lizzie McGuire as Miranda Sanchez, a character who struggles with anorexia. Hmm, chicken or the egg?

Fergie
LOW POINT: Came clean about her meth addiction in September 2006.
• It’s not clear why Fergie decided to admit to her nasty addiction years after she had gotten clean, but once you piss your pants in front of the world, what else do you have to be ashamed of? She claims that as a young actor constantly under the scrutiny of the public eye, she used the drug to “suppress feelings.” Just say no, kids.

The latest star to have his coke use documented is Ryan Ross, who’s had a helluva week: on Monday, he split from band Panic At The Disco, and then yesterday, the picture above surfaced. The drama unfolded when one of the hotties he’s pictured with posted the photo on Facebook. Smart. We could have guessed that Ross was snorting something after watching a PATD video, but you still have to keep that on the low, son. Keep reading to check out five more celebs who were caught on tape with that white girl…Christina Aguilera!

CELEBRITY: KATE MOSS
YEAR: 2005
• A model doing coke? No way! Especially one dating Pete Doherty at the time. Sarcasm aside, this sucks because whichever model replaced Moss when she lost her modeling contracts was probably just better at hiding her habit. No worries though, Moss shrugged off the scandal and is back like cooked crack.

CELEBRITY: LINDSAY LOHAN
YEAR: 2007
• Fresh out of rehab, Lohan was seen playing in the snow with a “friend” in the bathroom of a L.A. nightclub in this secretly recorded video. The girl who sold her out also spilled details about the long list of Hollywood men Lindsay has slept with. Sadly, we’d still smash.

CELEBRITY: 50 CENT
YEAR: 2007
• We’ll give Curtis the benefit of the doubt since there’s no visible cocaine in the video, but you can’t tell us that you haven’t walked in the back room at a party and seen something similar going down. If anything, the scandal was worth it just to hear 50’s hilarious response a few days later.

CELEBRITY: ALICE DELLAL
YEAR: 2008
• This model and heiress might be able to blame her cocaine scandal on genetics, as her father Guy Dellal was busted for smuggling yayo in the ’70s. Plus, when you’re set to inherit £800 million what else is there to do but cocaine?

CELEBRITY: AMY WINEHOUSE
YEAR: 2007
• The problem with Amy is choosing which documented yayo moment to highlight. Of course, there’s this incident where she appears to take a bump on stage. But what about when she got down with the coca in a London club. Or when she hit a crack pipe for our viewing pleasure. Damn, girl, you need to do like Puba said: Slow down!

But there are a bunch of white girl drug dealers who do look mad soft and nice smelling that we’ve got love for. Hit the jump for Our Five Favorite White Girl Drug Dealers, both real and imagined…

JULIA DIACO
• Julia Diaco was the dream weed/coke hookup/girlfriend. This Jersey girl went to NYU, slung out of her dorm, and had a budding singing career before a bunch of narcs took it all away in 2004. Ah, we can picture the 5 A.M. bouts of screaming, rolling around in money and driving all over the city in that hired car like it was yesterday. Julia, let us know if you get the ring moving again, we’d love to be your first customer, again.

LILLY ALLEN
• The pop starlet told NME that she dabbled in selling ecstasy in Ibiza when she was 15, but that she “Did not excel…I was terrible at it. Golden rule with drug-dealing; don’t get too enthusiastic with your own merchandise.” Wise words. We’d pay a little extra to have Lily as “our guy” just ’cause it would be so awkwardly hilarious to have a hollow-faced celebrity roll by with the night’s twenty bag.

MARY LOUISE PARKER/NANCY BOTWIN
• Just in case you haven’t noticed, we don’t really draw a line between real life and TV over here. Nancy Botwin can get us hooked up on MILF weed any day. Mix in a dose of that promiscuity, and not only does she have us tuning in every Monday, but we’ve got the celly phone book opened up just in case she decides to go real life with it.

KATIE MORGAN
• You might have missed out on the 100 pounds of marijuana that porn star Katie Morgan got caught with trying to smuggle across the U.S.-Mexico border, but you’ve probably caught her on HBO or those “special sites” you check at lunch. Katie gave up selling weed to focus on selling sex and clearing her sizable bail. Would she have been a dope weed hookup? Yes. Would you rather see her have sex? Maybe/probably.

CLAIRE DANES and KATE BECKINSALE
• Yes, we’ve seen Brokedown Palace. We know you claim that you were “framed” with all that heroin, but come on. That’s the oldest trick in the white girl book!

THAT’S IT! It’s 4/20, son! But instead of getting pleasantly lifted, take a few moments to think about the choice you’re making. There have been plenty of anti-marijuana public service announcements over the years, all of which are aimed at ILLUMINATING YOUNGSTERS AS TO THE DANGERS OF THE EVIL HERB. Do they succeed? It’s hard to tell—but that’s mostly because we are blazed right now. So do the math yourself and check the cavalcade of weed-hating PSAs we rolled up for you…

“GATEWAY DRUG”

What It’s Supposed To Say: Smoking weed is a fast track to meth-head status.
What It Actually Says: Yeah, weed. That’s the problem. Living in a van on the beach has nothing to do with it.

CLICK NEXT TO WATCH MORE ANTI-WEED PSAS!

One good thing to come of this though, is the reminder that impressionable young girls are susceptible to the white arts. Peep our list of 8 other great falls from grace by young actresses who discovered the dark side of “the party”…

DREW BARRYMORE

Drew Barrymore is one of the coolest actor chicks there is, and while her current drug use seems limited to a little weed from time to time, she used to be quite the little party girl. The young Barrymore was a regular at Studio 54, drank when she was 11, and had her first toot of cocaine when she was 12. A suicide attempt at 13 put her into rehab, and while she was a nutso party chick then, she’s turned out just fine. If anything, her return to grace can be a template for when Miley Cyrus goes off the deep end.

JODIE SWEETIN

When your Full House co-stars move on to become filthy rich, disgustingly awesome, or the dude who bangs Rebecca Rojimn, it becomes hard to stand out. Cue the meth addiction. Sweetin is now clean and attempting to make a comeback by filming a reality show with her husband, an idea that seems even worse than hitting the pipe.

BRITNEY SPEARS

Britney started strong with the Mickey Mouse Club, moved into “Hit Me Baby One More Time”, sexy videos like “Toxic” and then that banger VMAs snake performance. Then she dropped KFed, met Paris Hilton, showed everyone her pee hole and allegedy jammed enough cocaine up her nose to earn her a whole wing at Promises Rehab. She’s made progress as of recent but for the most part, she’s still seems like she’s trying to get her shit together.

DANA PLATO

It would be uncouth to tell too many jokes about the dead, so we’ll just say this: Dana Plato loved drugs. So much so that she let them get in the way of her Different Strokes TV gig. From there, the downward spiral picked up steam and she wound up doing all kinds of crazy shit including a softcore porn with the same Different Strokes name before ODing and dying. Like we said, we’re not going to get grimy, but you can Google an image of her with a johnson in her mouth if you really want.

LINDSAY LOHAN

Oh Lohan, with your antics. The heavy-freckled cutie came up strong in The Parent Trap remake and then rocked some shitty movies we all watched just to see that pretty face. We believe that you’re recovered from your drug problem about as much as we believe you’re a lesbian. Even if you’re being serious we’re not gonna listen. Lalalalalalalalalallala. Not listening. lalalalallaalala. Afterparty at the Complex offices, leave Samantha at home.

KEISHA KNIGHT PULLIAM

Apparently “multiple sources” can attest to the fact that Rudy from The Cosby Show is a fan of cocaine. The sources are unconfirmed, of course, but we believe it. Hell, even if we don’t, girl’s looking real good these days.

TATUM O’ NEAL

Tatum O’Neal came up as a child actor in Paper Moon and the original Bad News Bears. She has had a lifelong battle with the white, and poor thing just got caught again this fall when she was researching a new role. Oh, that’s right. What’s the name of that movie about doing coke on the Lower East Side again? I think it comes out around Christmas. Yeah right.

THE OLSEN TWINS

We’re not allowed to say that these two enjoy getting rocked on cocaine. We can’t even say that the pills that Heath Ledger OD’d on came from Ashley to help him calm down from a night of too much partying. Just because they hang out in NYC, date a bunch of rebel dudes and go out a lot doesn’t mean either of them have drug problems. Oh wait, maybe we can.

It’s every little boy’s dream to one day play in the NFL, then get arrested for moving weight (no dumbbell). On Tuesday, former Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry fulfilled his dream when the Drug Enforcement Agency arrested him for allegedly taking part in a cocaine deal, serving as the money man for a multi-state drug ring.

If convicted, he faces a $4 million fine and a minimum of ten years in federal prison (Note to other RBs: That’s NOT what your coaches mean when they tell you to hit the hole). Much to the chagrin of the No Fun League, Henry is not the first pro to get wrapped up in the dope game. Check out all the league’s Most Valuable Drug Kingpins below…

MERCURY MORRIS

This member of the undefeated 1972 Dolphins caught a bad L in 1982 when he was sentenced to 20 years in prison for attempting to sell cocaine to an undercover federal agent (his conviction was overturned in 1986). Not that we should have been surprised'everybody knows M&Ms are candy-coated.

JAMAL LEWIS

In 2004, the Baltimore Ravens running back got hemmed up for conspiring to possess and distribute five kilograms of cocaine and using a cell phone to make the deal happen. He spent four months in jail, then switched his cell phone service to a company that doesn’t snitch.

NATE NEWTON
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The former Dallas Cowboy lineman was arrested with 213 lbs. of marijuana in his van in 2001. Five weeks later, he was caught moving 175 lbs. of that mean green on the Interstate, and eventually sentenced to 30 months in federal prison. Hey, when a play fails, sometimes you gotta go right back to it.

DYSHOD CARTER

A former cornerback for the Arizona Cardinals and Cleveland Browns, he was arrested in 2007 with four other men after they tried to buy seven kilos of cocaine off an undercover DEA agent. His crew also had $104,000 and a loaded AK-47 on them, which could bring a charge of listening to waaay too much Cam’ron.

TROY HAMBRICK

In 2007, this former running back for the Dallas Cowboys and Arizona Cardinals was sentenced to five years in prison for selling crack to undercover cops on several occasions. Base? That’s not even the right sport, homie.

BILL ROMANOWSKI

The former Denver Broncos and Oakland Raiders linebacker never sold drugs, as far as we know, but considering all the rage-inducing steroids he took to keep up with black players, every hit he laid on someone was like doling out the juice.

SHERMAN WILLIAMS

In 2000, this former Dallas Cowboys running back was sentenced to seven years in prison for three counts of conspiracy to distribute marijuana and a separate plea for passing counterfeit currency. On the bright side, he said his time on NFL battlefields had toughened him up for prison. See, the NFL does prepare young men for life outside the lines!

BYRON “BAM” MORRIS

In 2000, the onetime Pittsburgh Steelers, Chicago Bears, Baltimore Ravens and the Kansas City Chiefs running back pleaded guilty to two counts of Federal drug trafficking, admitting he’d moved 100 kilograms of marijuana in the Kansas City area between 1998 and 2000. One yard at a time, just like his coaches taught him.

Submarines are definitely the new high-roller smuggling devices, but there have been some decidedly more low budget methods used in the past. You hear it all, from jamming it down your food pipe to packing it into dead babies. The cartels are always trying to stay one step ahead, until they get caught, of course, and have to get back to the drawing board. From the funny to the tragic, we’ve compiled some of the most creative tactics used to cross the border…

IN YOUR GIRL’S WIG

Women spare no expense when it comes to their hair. But no trip to the salon could top this one'on Sunday, two women from Jamaica got whacked trying to smuggle 2.3 kg of cocaine up under their hoods, which would have netted about £170,000. Daaaaammmmmn. (c) Jeezy.

RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR GIRLS TITS

We saw that episode of Nip/Tuck where the South American chicks have the heroin breast implants. Has it happened? Yeah. But there is way more smuggling going down just by strapping the stuff right in there on the bra line. My baby went from an A to a C and we just paid for our vacation! Maybe. Truth is, DEA agents can feel up your girl, that’s why they love their job so much.

STRAPPED TO YOUR KIDS

On March 11th, a Mexican woman was arrested attempting to smuggle 20lbs. of cocaine into the UK strapped to her 13 year old and 11 year old children. Play time is over.

VIA GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS

Badges and guns get you around security, or so two U.S. Air Marshalls thought in 2006. Hired in the wake of 9/11, Shawn Nguyen and Burlie Sholar were arrested and convicted of attempting to smuggle 15 kilos of cocaine to Las Vegas from Houston. Bummer. You have a gun and can get on an airplane, great. But have you guys ever heard of a car?

STUFFING PUPPIES

So, we got all these drugs, and we got all these puppies. Fuck paying Maria full of Grace, let’s just put the drugs in the dogs! Wow. In 2005, this actually happened. Ten dogs and a whole lot of heroin equals a lot of pissed off narcs.

UP YOUR NOSE

Smuggling cocaine up your nose is the only tried and true way to get it across borders. Common techniques include putting it up there via lines or by using a key to do “bumps”. This technique is typically used for crossing the border into VIP at a club, but can be used in customs recreationally.

Dave Oritz starred in our second installment of the Complex Shopping Network. [LINK]

Hate it or love it, some injuries made us smile. [LINK]

We pointed out 5 legal drugs the news was afraid of. [LINK]

And From The Complex Network:

Nah Right: T.I definitely got the last laugh in his beef with Shawty Lo. [LINK]

KicksOnFire: New Hyperdunks…straight fiyah! [LINK]

On Smash: Scarface x Wayne x Bun B all on the same track! [LINK]

SlamxHype:Brent Rollins hooked up with Nike to increase Aids awareness. [LINK]

Das Gamer: This Sarah Palin video games looks quite shitty. [LINK]

Bastardly: Cassie in Prada is something we dream about. [Bastardly]

But how do they learn about these creative highs? The drugs that were once after-school whispers have become the subject of hysterical news reports and hit internet videos for all the world to see. The latest legal drug to blow up is Salvia, a mint-like herb that has come under fire after videos of people experiencing the drug’s high made it big on YouTube. Learn more about Salvia and 4 other perfectly legal narcotics that have been singled out by the media as a menace.

SALVIA (Salvinori A)

Historically used by shamans in Mexico, this leaf was once little known outside of ads in the back pages of High Times. But now, 13 states have banned it, thanks to the attention it’s garnered on YouTube. It is strong, and it makes you absolutely incapacitated and fucked up for a short period of time'kinda like a crack head, only you don’t try to steal things. This dude named Eric is the hero of the shit. Watch and learn.

WHIPPITS (Nitrous Oxide)

Remember seventh grade when the weed guy wouldn’t sell you anything and told you to go to 7-11 and by some whipped cream? Yeah we thought he was a sex freak too until we sat in on D.A.R.E. and learned about crackers. Even though the program is out of schools, don’t fret. Your fourteen year old’s interest can always be sparked by Fox News or Lohan. Whippits get you high. That’s why people do them. But its short, and doing them kills a ton of brain cells. Period.

COUGH MEDICINE (DXM)

Here’s a hypothetical:

News: “Attention parents: kids are using cough medecine to get high.”
Weezy, age 10: “Oh word?”
News: “Look to see if your child is walking around in slow motion, as if he is under water.”
Weezy, age 10: “I can’t wait to grow up. Ya digggg!”

Cough medicine will get you fucked up. Taking a large dose of DXM will cause you to trip, but the side effects often out-weigh the positives (R.I.P. DJ Screw). Prescription Coedeine, on the other hand, is a whole ‘nother story.

HUFFING AEROSOL (Inhalants)

Um. Unfortunately, being somewhat stuck up New Yorkers over here, we never tried spray-painting into a paper bag and sucking the fumes deep into our lungs. Apparently gold paint is the best because of all the extra chemicals in there, and by the looks of this guy, it works. Huffing is real, and it sucks. It kills your head, turns you into a redneck, and in the case of this chick, gets you on intervention. It exists as the lowest rung on the drug ladder so that you don’t feel too fucked up doing whatever drugs that you do.

JENKEM (Feces)

Here’s a perfect example of how the news can be more dangerous than actual drugs: Jenkem was reported by drug websites as a popular drug in American schools that was made from a urine and fecal matter concoction. If done right, the mixture had to be fermented for several days in a jar that was covered by a balloon, and then the contents of the container would separate and release a gas, which is captured in the balloon. “Inhaling the gas was said to have a euphoric high similar to ingesting cocaine but with strong hallucinations of times past.” The internet reports snowballed into local news exposés about the dangers of huffing shit, until it was later exposed as one out-of-control hoax. We just feel bad for the bored high-schoolers who actually tried it. Gross.

This past weekend, British Labour Party Member of Parliament Khalid Mahmood came out against Him & Hers Smuggling Vacation, a book written by Englishman Jason Wilson and his father Anthony Cyril Spencer about a U.K. couple that stumbles upon a bunch of weed while on vacation and tries to smuggle it home. The book is highly detailed in its depiction of the European underworld, with good reason'Spencer was briefly the most wanted man in Britain and helped his son complete Vacation while spending time in a Spanish prison. The book’s become something of a hit in English jails, thus drawing the ire of the aforementioned MP. Rumor has it DMX’s Defensive Driving comic will be rushed into production in an effort to compete. For seven pages from Vacation, check the gallery below.

[Sunday Mercury News via Publishers Weekly]

Well, the funny thing about pot humor is that it pays better than being Don Johnson’s wisecracking buddy, so Cheech and Chong are getting the brand back together and hitting the road on a comedy tour. They’re officially announcing tomorrow, so write yourself a note, because you’ll most likely forget otherwise. After the jump, watch a blunt retrospective of some of C&C’s finest throwback moments.

Cheech schools you on Mexican Americans

Cheech schools Chong on Spanish

The duo in a 1978 live performance

Cocaine Cowboys II: Hustlin’ With The Godmother, which is coming to DVD on July 29, tells the story of an Oakland man named Charles Cosby who becomes a major West Coast cocaine dealer thanks to his connection with Blanco. After writing a “fan letter” to her while she’s incarcerated on the West Coast, they develop a lasting bond that results in him helming $40 million per year drug ring. Watch the trailer below.

Still, if you’re looking to break free from the chains of your artificial euphoria, you might want to consider donating your left over pills to Brooklyn-based artist John Delk. His 2008 work in progress called “BANG” is a wire structure covered in anti-depressants that spells out the word “bang.” So far he’s completed the “B” and the “A,” but he needs your help wrapping up “N” and “G.” He’s looking for any and all related pills: Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Celexa, Luvox, Lexapro, Cymbalta, Nardil, Parnate, and anything else that makes you feel goooooooood. Check out his website or see more photos of the project after the jump.

[John Delk via C-MONSTER]

“In a dreamlike state, with eyes closed (I found the daylight to be unpleasantly glaring), I perceived an uninterrupted stream of fantastic pictures, extraordinary shapes with intense, kaleidoscopic play of colors. After some two hours this condition faded away.”

He continued to experiment with hallucinogens, becoming the first person to synthesize psilocybin, the active ingredient in magic mushrooms, in 1958. While he was critical of casual hippie LSD use, he was still a lifelong advocate of the drug he referred to as “medicine for the soul.” Hofman finally died yesterday of a heart attack at the ripe old age of 102. After the jump, watch a documentary about the development of LSD called Hofmann’s Potion.

[Wired]

[BBC]

If they end up having to change the name, we would like to suggest “Scientology Sticky.” We hear the shit is so good you’ll feel like you’re talking to Xenu!

[Rush & Malloy]