When we heard NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield tested positive for methamphetamines again, it really didn’t come as much of a surprise. After all, Mayfield’s latest arrest only goes to reinforce the stereotype that NASCAR is a sport filled with white trash tweak-heads who have a problem with speeding. We keeeeed!
Mayfield is hardly the first celebrity to fall victim to the rural bathtub drug. The truth is, deep, deep down, celebrities are ordinary people—except they have way more money for drugs, way more free time for drugs, and way more get out of jail free cards than the average Joe does when it comes to drugs. Don’t believe us? Read on to see 10 celebs who love (or have loved) their crank, regardless of what Johnny Law has to say about it…
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Cocaine is more than a drug you wasted your parents’ money on during college. It’s also a drug that many celebrities waste their money on—and we all know this, man. With that said, it’s still quite a sight when someone famous is dumb enough to get caught in pictures or video with the infamous white powder.
The latest star to have his coke use documented is Ryan Ross, who’s had a helluva week: on Monday, he split from band Panic At The Disco, and then yesterday, the picture above surfaced. The drama unfolded when one of the hotties he’s pictured with posted the photo on Facebook. Smart. We could have guessed that Ross was snorting something after watching a PATD video, but you still have to keep that on the low, son. Keep reading to check out five more celebs who were caught on tape with that white girl…Christina Aguilera!
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This past Tuesday, former mountain biking world champion Melissa “Missy” Giove was arrested when nearly 400 pounds of marijuana was seized from her truck and home outside of Saratoga Springs New York. We feel for you, Missy. But how did you get caught? White girl drug dealers are never supposed to get caught: the cops let you get past road blocks, you’re rarely suspected for more than accessory, and you kill it because everyone would rather buy drugs from a nice-smelling, soft woman than some sketchy dude in a back alley who sweats a lot. Well, on second thought, Missy doesn’t look so soft or particularly nice-smelling. Did we mention she’s a mountain biker?
But there are a bunch of white girl drug dealers who do look mad soft and nice smelling that we’ve got love for. Hit the jump for Our Five Favorite White Girl Drug Dealers, both real and imagined…
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It’s April 20, and you know what that means: the 352nd anniversary of Jews being granted freedom of religion in New Amsterdam! Wait, no, that’s not the only thing. We know there’s something else we’re supposed to be remembering. Damn it, we could concentrate if those cookies didn’t smell so freaking delicious. Yooooo, why isn’t there a chocolate-chip cookie with Doritos baked right into them? Heh. “Baked.” Man, you know what we could really go for? Some Robot Chicken. That show is straight piff. Wait…that’s it! Chicken! No, wait, that’s not it either. Hold on, we gotta check the calendar again. Calendar. Calendar. What kind of word is that, anyway?
THAT’S IT! It’s 4/20, son! But instead of getting pleasantly lifted, take a few moments to think about the choice you’re making. There have been plenty of anti-marijuana public service announcements over the years, all of which are aimed at ILLUMINATING YOUNGSTERS AS TO THE DANGERS OF THE EVIL HERB. Do they succeed? It’s hard to tell—but that’s mostly because we are blazed right now. So do the math yourself and check the cavalcade of weed-hating PSAs we rolled up for you…
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Big news! Maureen McCormick, better known as the actress who played Marcia Brady on the Brady Bunch, admits to trading sex for cocaine in her new tell-all book. Yay. Guess what honey: you’re not the first chick to become a cokehead and occasionally bang her dealer. Get over yourself.
One good thing to come of this though, is the reminder that impressionable young girls are susceptible to the white arts. Peep our list of 8 other great falls from grace by young actresses who discovered the dark side of “the party”…
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Travis Henry’s football is pumped up…on cocaine!
It’s every little boy’s dream to one day play in the NFL, then get arrested for moving weight (no dumbbell). On Tuesday, former Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry fulfilled his dream when the Drug Enforcement Agency arrested him for allegedly taking part in a cocaine deal, serving as the money man for a multi-state drug ring.
If convicted, he faces a $4 million fine and a minimum of ten years in federal prison (Note to other RBs: That’s NOT what your coaches mean when they tell you to hit the hole). Much to the chagrin of the No Fun League, Henry is not the first pro to get wrapped up in the dope game. Check out all the league’s Most Valuable Drug Kingpins below…
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Yesterday, the U.S. coast guard captured a submarine-like vessel stuffed with seven tons of cocaine. That, my friends, is a lot of blow. Minimum $187 million if you can get it to the street. But that’s the thing'getting it to the street is hard.
Submarines are definitely the new high-roller smuggling devices, but there have been some decidedly more low budget methods used in the past. You hear it all, from jamming it down your food pipe to packing it into dead babies. The cartels are always trying to stay one step ahead, until they get caught, of course, and have to get back to the drawing board. From the funny to the tragic, we’ve compiled some of the most creative tactics used to cross the border…
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These hotties are as sweet as candy. [LINK]
Dave Oritz starred in our second installment of the Complex Shopping Network. [LINK]
Hate it or love it, some injuries made us smile. [LINK]
We pointed out 5 legal drugs the news was afraid of. [LINK]
And From The Complex Network:
Nah Right: T.I definitely got the last laugh in his beef with Shawty Lo. [LINK]
KicksOnFire: New Hyperdunks…straight fiyah! [LINK]
On Smash: Scarface x Wayne x Bun B all on the same track! [LINK]
SlamxHype:Brent Rollins hooked up with Nike to increase Aids awareness. [LINK]
Das Gamer: This Sarah Palin video games looks quite shitty. [LINK]
Bastardly: Cassie in Prada is something we dream about. [Bastardly]
Every few years, the mainstream media gets pissed about the kids getting high. Even after all the dangerous drugs (and even some healthy ones) were outlawed, resourceful teens always seem to find new ways to achieve those mind-altering experiences.
But how do they learn about these creative highs? The drugs that were once after-school whispers have become the subject of hysterical news reports and hit internet videos for all the world to see. The latest legal drug to blow up is Salvia, a mint-like herb that has come under fire after videos of people experiencing the drug’s high made it big on YouTube. Learn more about Salvia and 4 other perfectly legal narcotics that have been singled out by the media as a menace.
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Despite stupid adults’ claims to the contrary, we’ve always known that there’s a lot to be learned from comics'not all mutants are evil, spider bites aren’t always fatal, being the last man on earth isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. But now a book in the U.K. is catching flack for being a little too educational.
This past weekend, British Labour Party Member of Parliament Khalid Mahmood came out against Him & Hers Smuggling Vacation, a book written by Englishman Jason Wilson and his father Anthony Cyril Spencer about a U.K. couple that stumbles upon a bunch of weed while on vacation and tries to smuggle it home. The book is highly detailed in its depiction of the European underworld, with good reason'Spencer was briefly the most wanted man in Britain and helped his son complete Vacation while spending time in a Spanish prison. The book’s become something of a hit in English jails, thus drawing the ire of the aforementioned MP. Rumor has it DMX’s Defensive Driving comic will be rushed into production in an effort to compete. For seven pages from Vacation, check the gallery below.
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