Rides How Should Delta Airlines Spend $1 Billion?

Yesterday, it was reported that Delta Airlines has taken out a $1 billion loan in anticipation of of its merger with Northwest Airlines. Delta’s CEO, Ed Bastian, was quoted as saying that the loan is intended to “increase our cash balance as we approach the closing of the merger,” and that the money “was not for any operating need” but rather to ensure “full financial flexibility” to move forward with the Northwest merger.

Bull. Shit. Delta needs a billion dollars because they’re fucking up. They charge too much for nothing and their customer service is going down the drain. There’s a Billi in the bank, so we’ve got a few ideas about how they could put it to good use…

Girls Delta’s Fly Safety Chick

There will be no smoking on any Delta flights.

An airline’s redundant safety presentation is usually a good time to finish your chapter, fall asleep or send a last minute email before the flight takes off. But cot damn, we might actually be paying attention the next time we fly Delta. For their new safety video, they recruited a thick-lipped, high cheek-boneded stewardess with a mischievous glimmer in her eye to school the passengers. The best part? She’s an actual Delta employee, named Katherine Lee. Can we have another blanket?

Watch the full video after the jump.