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After over 30 years of association with CNN, Lou Dobbs resigned his post yesterday as in-house xenophobe, and will now most likely head over to FOX. While unsurprising, it’s not entirely clear what closed the deal for his pink slip. Perhaps it was the continual calls for his ouster by opponents, or maybe it was the gun shots fired at his New Jersey home last month. Whatever the case, adios, cabrón!
The patronizing pseudo-journalist built his recent career around fomenting fear and hatred towards “illegal” undocumented workers who probably helped supply many of the fruits and vegetables he ate in his 300-acre upscale horse farm. While identifying himself as part of the conveniently-ambiguous “independent” political movement, it was clear that Lou “I’m married to a Latina, so I can’t be racist” Dobbs, was dealing with anger issues as an aging white man clinging to the good ol’ days. So, to celebrate his overdue departure, here’s a look at some of the events leading up to his exit…
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This lil’ Chupacabra won’t be getting your goat anymore.
Hide your goats! Another Chupacabra has been captured on video, proving once and for all that the “mythical” beast that sucks the blood of goats and other livestock does exist! OK, maybe it’s just a dead-ass Xolo (a hairless breed of dog) that’s been fed rodent poison, but if a semi-reputable, occasionally accurate news source like CNN tells us that it could be the Latino cousin of Bigfoot, who are we to question?
On the video, Jerry Ayer, a taxidermist in Blanco, Texas, displays the grey, leathery, hairless corpse of a curious creature he’s been storing in his freezer (because there’s nothing creepy or monstrous about that). We’re admittedly disappointed that it looks less like an alien or demon than a hybrid of a coyote, kangaroo, wolverine, and rat (or somebody’s pet Xolo). Still, it’ll keep us up at nights wondering what might be lurking outside just waiting for something to suck on? Read on to see the CNN report as well as other Chupacabras caught on tape…
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Last night may have been the biggest, and the best, night of news that we’ve had in a long time. Unfortunately, though, it only takes about 30 seconds to say, “Barack Obama won.” So what do the announcers talk about for the 8 hours leading up to that? Who knows.
In the never-ending idiot-fest that is network news, producers thought up the idea that having Black-Eyed Peas frontman Will.i.am. speak with Anderson Cooper via hollogram would be something interesting for the viewers. Sure we’re talking about it the next day, but a holographic Will I.Am, really CNN? We may have come a long way in how news is delivered, but there is still work to do. Read on to see this “feat of journalism” and our other top five lame network ideas producers are using to get more people to watch the news.
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Nas is no stranger to controversy, turning the Hip Hop world upside down with the name of his last album, Hip Hop Is Dead. Well that should pale in comparison to his new N*gger album'despite Def Jam’s claim to the contrary. Over a week ago (and about a thousand blog posts later), Esco hit the red carpet at the Grammys rocking a red fitted ‘Queens’ cap and t-shirt bearing the controversial title. CNN’s entertainment reporter Brooke Anderson did her best to avoid any uncomfortableness, that was until around 01:01 when Nas explained quite frankly, that “No longer are black people just n*ggers today, it’s also me and you.” After a brief awkward pause, she regained her composure and continued along her line of questioning about the album.
