Mayfield is hardly the first celebrity to fall victim to the rural bathtub drug. The truth is, deep, deep down, celebrities are ordinary people—except they have way more money for drugs, way more free time for drugs, and way more get out of jail free cards than the average Joe does when it comes to drugs. Don’t believe us? Read on to see 10 celebs who love (or have loved) their crank, regardless of what Johnny Law has to say about it…

Jodie Sweetin
LOW POINT: The cast of Full House staged an intervention in 2004.
• A Tanner family intervention—how charmingly Hollywood. It’s hard to imagine what Bob Saget and the Olsen twins could possibly say about the dangers of addiction, but somehow it pushed Sweetin into rehab.

Craig Robinson
LOW POINT: Arrested on June 29, 2008 for possession of meth, coke, and ecstasy.
• The Office must be paying pretty well. We can’t believe he did all three of ‘em…”that’s what she said!”

Nicole Bobek
LOW POINT: Arrested on July 7, 2009 for conspiracy to distribute meth.
• Making ends meet is tough when you’re an unemployed figure skater who also has an affinity for crystal meth. Just because you’re good on ice doesn’t mean you should start selling it. Pow!

Eddie Van Halen
LOW POINT: Entered rehab in 2007 for several addictions, meth being one of them.
• Crazy Eddie is a legend. At least he didn’t try to snort his father’s dead ashes like Keith Richards did.

Yasmine Bleeth
LOW POINT: Entered rehab in 2000 for cocaine and meth addiction.
• At the height of her addiction, Bleeth says she would go on benders where she wouldn’t sleep for up to five days. At the height of our addiction to watching her on Baywatch, we’d stare at her twos for up to five days.

Ryan O’Neal
LOW POINT: Arrested with son Redmond on September 17, 2008 for possession of meth.
• During a routine probation visit for a previous drug offense, Farah Fawcett’s ex-husband was dragged off to jail with his son after authorities found meth strewn about the house. Dad of the year? We think not.

Ted Haggard
LOW POINT: On November 3, 2006, evangelical pastor Haggard admitted to the press he purchased meth from a male prostitute.
• Apparently when he wasn’t berating homosexuals for not respecting the sanctity of marriage. Teddy spent his days cheating on his wife and getting cranked up with a male hooker named Mike Jones. Who?

Tom Sizemore
LOW POINT: Arrested for possession of meth on May 8, 2007 while already on probation for a previous drug conviction.
• Sizemore just can’t stay out of trouble. Dude has been arrested almost as many times as he’s starred in movies. No like really, he’s a drug addict. That’s not funny.

Lalaine Vergara Paras
LOW POINT: Charged with possession of meth in July 2007.
• Lalaine starred in Disney’s Lizzie McGuire as Miranda Sanchez, a character who struggles with anorexia. Hmm, chicken or the egg?

Fergie
LOW POINT: Came clean about her meth addiction in September 2006.
• It’s not clear why Fergie decided to admit to her nasty addiction years after she had gotten clean, but once you piss your pants in front of the world, what else do you have to be ashamed of? She claims that as a young actor constantly under the scrutiny of the public eye, she used the drug to “suppress feelings.” Just say no, kids.

According to bastion of reliable journalism National Enquirer, Morgan Freeman is hoping to marry 27-year-old E’Dena Hines. Who also happens to be his step-granddaughter. As the gossip outlets have reported, the alleged affair is the reason for the collapse of his 24-year marriage (though E’Dena is not the woman who was in the car with Freeman the night he got into that car accident last year).

For the moment, let’s ignore the 45-year age difference between the two–as far as we’re concerned, MF Doom has earned the right to bone 18-year-olds if he so chooses–and focus on the truly creepy part of it. You’re marrying fam, fam! The thing is, while Morgan is the latest to climb his own family tree, he’s by no means the first. Check out some other quasi-incestuous cases that made us cringe…

WHO: RUDY GIULIANI, POLITICIAN
SCANDAL: His first marriage, which lasted for 14 years, was to his second cousin Regina Peruggi. According to Giuliani, he didn’t know she was his second cousin for a decade and a half—but knowing she was a third cousin was perfectly acceptable? In the Republican tradition it is. Probably.

WOODY ALLEN WEIRDO SCALE:

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WHO: CHELSEA CUMMINS, TAEKWONDO CHAMPION
SCANDAL: Cummins had a two-year affair (which resulted in an abortion) from age 17 to 19 with her long-lost father. *cue Deliverance theme* No extenuating circumstances here: He was her father, he impregnated her, and then went on to sex up her mother again. Last name Cummins—coincidence? Hardly.
WOODY ALLEN WEIRDO SCALE:

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WHO: ALBERT EINSTEIN, SCIENTIST
SCANDAL: He married his first cousin in 1923. We’ll cut Al some slack—the pickings for an eccentric genius in Berlin in the early 1900s were a bit slim. Plus, y’know, E=MC^2 and all that.
WOODY ALLEN WEIRDO SCALE:

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WHO: FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT AND ELEANOR ROOSEVELT, PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY
SCANDAL: FDR and Eleanor were fifth cousins once removed. True, it was legal, But isn’t it a little strange that Eleanor didn’t even have to change her last name (maiden name: Roosevelt) upon marrying? Or that she LOOKED LIKE A FUCKING DUDE?
WOODY ALLEN WEIRDO SCALE:

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WHO: WOODY ALLEN, DIRECTOR/ACTOR
SCANDAL: Mia Farrow ended her 12-year relationship with Allen after discovering nude photos of her adopted daughter, Soon-Yi, in his apartment. Ouch. Allen later married Soon-Yi and is with her to this day. Whatever works!
WOODY ALLEN WEIRDO SCALE:

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WHO: GEORGE-MICHAEL BLUTH AND MAEBY FUNKE
SCANDAL: O.K., it’s not real, but Michael Cera’s character in Arrested Development is in love with his cousin. Who may or may not actually be his cousin. Good thing Cera’s too much of a eunuch to ever consummate any relationship, let alone a slightly questionable one.
WOODY ALLEN WEIRDO SCALE:

The thing is, Lambert isn’t alone in his desire to state the obvious (or to overestimate our interest in what his preferred orifice is). Famous faces—from survivors of the pre-Internet dark ages to modern boy-band burnouts—have done their best to shake the world with their sexual admissions, when in reality it was about as controversial as Wilford Brimley having some Quaker Oats and taking an mid-afternoon nap. Click on to see the Top 5 “You’re Gay? No shit!” Moments…

• Who: Ellen DeGeneres
• Officially Came Out: April 14, 1997 on the cover of Time
• We knew: March 1997 at a Gay and Lesbian Awards Ceremony honoring lesbian singer K.D. Lang
• How we knew: Standard congratulations normally involve a handshake and a hesitant air kiss, not a make-out session that screams, “Yay for carpet munching!”

• Who: Lance Bass
• Officially Came Out: July 26, 2006 in People Magazine
• We Knew: July 4, 2006 in Massachusetts
• How We Knew: Not only did he paint the gay clubs red with boyfriend Reichen Lehmkuhl, he also tried to disguise his presence with a hat, which is like the tabloid version of screaming, “Hey, it’s me!” during a perp walk.

• Who: Clay Aiken
• Officially Came Out: September 24, 2008 in People
• We Knew: May 29, 2008
• How We Knew: Clay wanted a baby. Clay was grossed out by sex (!) with a woman (!!). What to do? Throw some CCs (of semen) in that bitch! [Ed.—This joke was written by a woman. Please direct any outrage at your own sad life.]

• Who: Sheryl Swoopes
• Officially Came Out: April 12, 2006 in ESPN Magazine
• We Knew: October 26, 2005
• How We Knew: We’re pretty sure the primary requirement for becoming a spokesperson for Olivia, a lesbian cruise and resort company, isn’t just enthusiasm for snorkeling. At least not in the literal sense.

• Who: George Michael
• Officially Came Out: April 11, 1998 on CNN
• We Knew: April 7, 1998 in L.A. (And that’s only if you ignore the entire existence of WHAM!)
• How We Knew: In the romantic setting of a public L.A. bath room, Georgie just couldn’t resist playing “I’ll Show You Mine if You Show Me Yours” with officer Marcelo Rodriguez.

When it comes to depicting some of the world’s biggest stars, things can get ugly. In a new exhibit called “Remember My Name,” which opened last week at London’s massive 6,000 square foot Sartorial Contemporary Art Gallery, a diverse group of artists painted well-known celebrities in some decidedly unusual ways.

Artists like Sarah Doyle, Jasper Joffe, Mikey Georgeson and Cathy Lomax profiled celebrity culture at it’s worst for the show. Images of everyone from Angelina Jolie to Michael Jackson get subverted, while artist Matt Humphrey immortalizes Kurt Cobain by re-imagining his suicide gun. See more of “Remember My Name,” which runs through November 11th, below…

BIG FAT CLOONEY AND ANGELINA JOLIE BY JASPER JOFFE

I’M STICKING WITH YOU BY HARRY PYE

SILENT STARS BY SARAH DOYLE

SOMEBODY IN HIS ROOM SAID BY MIKEY BEORGESON

IT BUZZ ME (KATE) BY CATHY LOMAX

COBAIN’S GUN BY MATT HUMPHREY

[Sartorial Art via Juxtapoz]

The latest down-low marriage involves Nelly Furtado, who apparently got hitched to engineer Demacio Castellon back in July, but decided not to tell anyone until today. Crazy Canadians! But the “Promiscuous” singer (we love calling her that) is following in the footsteps of a few other celebrities who have tried to slip their nuptuals past the public’s attention. See the secret wifeys below…

JANET JACKSON AND RENE ELIZONDO

YEAR OF WEDDING: 1991
During Ms. Jackson’s 9-year marriage with her former dancer, she publicly denied having a relationship with Elizondo, even after his hands appeared holding her breasts on the infamous 1993 Rolling Stone cover. The marriage, which was in fact her second, came to a sour end in 1999 (the divorce dragged out to 2003). And as far as we can tell, she still hasn’t tied the knot with her pint-sized rebound.

SIMON MONJACK AND BRITTANY MURPHY

YEAR OF WEDDING: 2007
Last year, B.Murph and her screenwriter hubby were spotted at a Playboy event, covering up their wedding rings because they were planning a big “official announcement” the next week. Unfortunately, fuckin’ Us Weekly blew up their spot before they had a chance to do it on their own terms.

BRANDY NORWOOD AND ROBERT SMITH

YEAR OF WEDDING: 2001 (in Brandy’s mind)
When Brandy announced she was preggers in February 2002, she claimed Robert Smith (cousin to super producer Rodney Jerkins ) was the baby’s daddy. To protect her image, she said they had been married months before in a quiet ceremony, which turned out to be a hoax after their relationship flopped around the baby’s birth in June. Liar, liar pants on fire.

STEPHEN BELAFONTE AND MELANIE BROWN

YEAR OF WEDDING: June 2007
When the former Spice Girl got hitched to the Hollywood film producer, she was still going through a controversial paternity suit with Eddie Murphy, about whom she famously reflected, “The less said about the Beverly Hills Cock, the better.” We can’t blame her for waiting two more months to announce her new relationship with Belafonte'she probably wanted to make sure he wasn’t into trannies first.

BEYONCÉ KNOWLES AND SEAN CARTER

YEAR OF WEDDING: 2008
Hov and Be started denying rumors that they were dating as early as 2001. And they kept on denying, right on through this year, despite the fact that they both got wedding ring tattoos on their fingers, and their families were all photographed on the way to a secret marriage ceremony in NYC. To date, they still haven’t admitted to being married, even though the state of New York thinks they are.

Don’t get it twisted'we’re pro-parenthood all day. But for celebrity chicks, it seems like having a child is the easiest road to destroying the career that they spent so many years building up. For every mom like Heidi Klum who keeps her career on course, there are 10 more who pop out a baby and are never heard from again. Jennifer Garner was on top of when Alias was on the air, but now she seems dangerously close to being known as “Ben Affleck’s formerly famous wife.” After the jump, we’ve compiled 5 other women who fell victim to the dangers of motherhood.

1. BRITNEY SPEARS

BEFORE: Nubile Pop Superstar/Teen Wet Dream Fantasy
AFTER: Flabby-As-Fuck Train Wreck Without Visitation Rights

If bearing KFED’s children wasn’t enough of an L, Brit lost custody of her sons Jayden James and Sean Preston, and failed to resurrect her career after she looked like a confused plus-sized pole dancer while opening up last year’s VMAs.

2. NIA LONG

BEFORE: The Baddest Black Actress In Hollywood
AFTER: Occasional On-Screen Mom

Before her son Massai was born, Nia was the epitomy of sexy/smart eye candy in '90s classics like Boyz N The Hood, Friday, Love Jones and The Best Man. Since then she’s gone from top ten to not mentioned at all, directing the occasional mediocre music video or starring as the mom in family comedies like Are We There Yet?

3. GWEN STEFANI

BEFORE: Trend-Setting No Doubt Hit-Maker
AFTER: Dilligent Babymaker For Washed-Up British Alt-Rocker

After flipping No Doubt into massive solo success with “Hollaback Girl,” Gwen’s career cooled way down down. If she’s in the news now, it’s probably because a new photo of her walking around with her son Kingston and her faux-hawk husband Gavin Rossdale surfaced. Her second child is due next month, so maybe she’ll resurface one of these days.

4. DENISE RICHARDS

BEFORE: Bond Girl/Ultimate White Girl Sex Symbol.
AFTER: Boyfriend Stealing Reality Show Tramp.

Her tabloid-wet-dream divorce with Charlie Sheen had the couple’s two daughters caught in the middle. But then Richards upped her tackiness by including her kids in her new reality show'something Sheen tried to fight in court. For some reason she was much more appealing when she was pretending to be a scheming trick in Wild Things.

5. LAURYN HILL

BEFORE: Grammy Award Winning International Superstar/Best Female Rapper Alive
AFTER: Creatively-Stunted Vagabond

L-Boogie was the epitomy of a strong, beautiful, talented woman'then she got involved with a Marley brother had 4 kids. Since then, she’s put out an album of rambling half-baked acoustic songs and prevented the Fugees from reuniting. We suspect she’s hiding in the same cave as Bin Laden.

There’s just something about a woman puffing on a fat one that makes us stop and stare. Perhaps its the brash, throw-caution to the wind attitude. Perhaps it’s the “just one of the guys” coolness. Or maybe it’s just the obvious phallic imagery…yes, it’s probably that one. After the jump, enjoy a moment with 5 of our favorite cigar smoking shorties.

Dita Von Teese

Heidi Klum

Jennifer Lopez

Taraji P. Henderson (No Rashid)

Danity Kane’s Aubrey O’Day

It’s probably been a while since you’ve watched Saved By The Bell, but everyone remembers Bayside High’s lovable principle, Mr. Belding (click here to watch a refresher).

These days, at 57 years old, Mr. B (also known as actor Dennis Haskins) still seems to be surrounding himself with fine younger women. He spent Easter Sunday in Vegas at Hard Rock club Body English, where he danced the night away with some ladies dressed in school girl outfits for a party called “Sunday School.” Ah, party promoters. What’s next? Theo Huxtable Thursdays?

Check out more photos of Mr. Belding getting down after the jump.

[Click on photos to view larger]

[TMZ]

If you’re one of the few people still watching the Oscars (What award are they on now?), you might have caught ex-Fear Factor contestant/model Sarah Larson on the red carpet in toe with George Clooney. With just a quick wardrobe change, she shows her “other” side in a dazzling one-piece swimsuit by Ashley Paige at LA Fashion Week. See the photo of Clooney’s number one stunna after the jump.

[People]