Coppin’ Brett Favre’s Viking jersey? Not us. [Daily Drop]

Cross your fingers that your chick doesn’t end up on this site. [Double Viking]

Check out this 1-minute preview of Hov’s “Run This Town” video. [Nah Right]

A Rebecca Gayheart gallery? Sure. [Holy Taco]

Here are 10 offensive sports jerseys and the inappropriate places to wear them. [Street Level]

Yesterday came the news that Detroit had elected a new mayor, former Pistons star and NBA Hall of Famer Dave Bing (Bing’s replacing D-Town’s “Hip-Hop Mayor” Kwame Kilpatrick, who kept it a little too real and landed himself in the bing). Bing’s not even the first former NBA star to be elected mayor in the past year; former Suns All-Star Kevin Johnson was tapped to run his hometown of Sacramento last fall.

But why limit potential athlete-mayors to their hometowns or the cities where they played? We’ve selected five off-the-beaten path cities and assigned them to the pro athletes we think would be their best chief executives…

Tipp City, Ohio: Alex Rodriguez
• This town of fewer than 10,000 people might be a bit small for a big timer like A-Rod, but at least he won’t have that many people to tell which pitch is coming.

Genoa, Nevada: Terrell Owens
• Genoa (pop. 252) is even smaller than Tipp City, but somebody’s gotta lead the “Home of the Candy Dance.”

Portland, Oregon: Ronnie Lott
• The former Niners safety who once had a pinky amputated so he could keep playing seems like a perfect fit for “Stumptown.”

Sumner, Missouri: Brett Favre
• “The Wild Goose Capital of the World” deserves Favre, the wild-goose-chase-leading quarterback who’s the NFL’s all-time leader in touchdowns thrown, yards and fake retirements.

State College, Pennsylvania: Danica Patrick
• We’ve always wanted to visit Danica’s Happy Valley.

All athletes lie. They’re tortured by losses; the weed/coke/gun/child porn wasn’t theirs; they didn’t know it was illegal to drink a bottle of tequila and drive over a pedestrian; getting punched in the face by a teammate brought everyone together. Nobody is surprised by little white lies like these because they’re so common, but sometimes athletes get caught in the BIG ONES.

Starting with New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez’s shocking steroid revelations, this week has been a non-stop parade of athlete scandals thanks to the exposure of half truths and outright lies. Revisit the ugly truth with Complex and decide who is this week’s most offensive liar…


ROBERTO ALOMAR
• The 41-year-old former MLB second baseman allegedly has full-blown AIDS and lied to himself and his girlfriend, Ilya Dall, who he dated from 2002-2008, insisting they have unprotected sex despite physical signs that he might be HIV-positive (cold sores, a blood disorder linked to AIDS, erectile dysfunction, thrush, a chronic cough and fatigue). In a $15 million negligence suit, she alleges that Alomar was raped by two men when he was 17 and, despite the aforementioned reasons for concern, didn’t get tested until January 2006. We don’t yet know if he selfishly and stupidly put his lady’s life at risk or if Dall, who runs a Queens massage spa, is a slanderous golddigger, but we do know somebody has a date with Satan.

ANTONIO MARGARITO
• The California State Athletic Commission revoked the boxer’s license, as well as his trainer’s, for tampering with his hand wraps prior to his January 24 fight against Shane Mosley. Margarito’s hands were properly re-wrapped minutes before the fight and “Sugar” Shane went on to TKO him in the 9th round. Upon further inspection, investigators found an illegal component in his knuckle pads, and Margarito tried to play dumb and lay all blame on his trainer but the commissioners weren’t stupid enough to believe him. In retrospect, he realizes he should have punched them in their heads repeatedly first before making his case.

MIGUEL TEJADA
• The All-Star Houston Astros shortstop pleaded guilty to lying to Congress about the use of performance-enhancing drugs in professional baseball. In 2005, he told House investigators that he didn’t know anyone in baseball who used PEDs, but there is now evidence that he spoke to a teammate in Oakland about his steroid use and copped human growth hormone off him. Apparently the brain, like the balls, does not get bigger when you use HGH.

ALEX RODRIGUEZ
• In 2007, A-Rod told CBS news anchor Katie Couric and the many baseball fans on his jock that he’d never taken steroids because he’d never felt overmatched. After Sports Illustrated reported that he tested positive for steroids in an anonymous 2003 survey, he told ESPN he took steroids from 2001-2003 because he wanted to live up to his monster contract, everybody else was doing it and the she-men he beds were routinely beating him in arm wrestling foreplay.

BRETT FAVRE
• The gunslingin’ New York Jets quarterback is retiring. Again. No, seriously. This time he really thinks he’ll be content to spend his days hunting and his nights sitting by a fire, resting his head in John Madden’s lap while Peter King rubs his feet. But just to be safe, check back in in when NFL preseason starts.

Read on to see the greatest sports moments for haters (in calendar order)…

LOSER: DUKE AND UNC
LOSS: Second-round and Final Four defeats (respectively) for the white-boy basketball saviors.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because ice beasts have no right to be on the hardwood with the original man, unless they’re exported straight from the caves like Andrei Kirilenko!
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LOSER: NIKE
LOSS: Losing face at the Olympics. Nike boy Michael “Birdman” Phelps rocked a Speedo LZR suit while in the pool, Usain Bolt and his Pumas embarrassed Nike’s track stars, and the Swoosh’s biggest Chinese sponsored athlete (hurdler Liu Xang) pulled out of competition with an injury.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because Reebok took a big enough L with their “Dan and Dave” debacle in ‘92, and it’s about time the Microsoft of athletic companies got some loser on their face.
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LOSER: YANKEES
LOSS: Despite a MLB record $209 million payroll, the Evil Empire finished third in the AL East, missing the playoffs for the first time since the 1994 strike.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because by handing out bloated contracts without regard for talent or clubhouse chemistry, they’ve heartily sodomized the idea of parity in baseball. Attention CC Sabathia and AJ Burnett: Randy Johnson and Carl Pavano still need two overvalued pitchers for their golf foursome. Which will promptly disband due to wrist injuries, obesity, and Old-Time Prospector Temper Disorder.
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LOSER: KIMBO SLICE
LOSS: After a long loud ride on the hype machine beating up tomato cans for fun and profit, the backyard brawler got blasted in 14 seconds by Seth Petruzelli. Who? Exactly.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because a when a sheisty MMA league takes a puncher and try to sell him as the second coming of Royce Gracie, it rubs some people the wrong way. Dicks.
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LOSER: NOTRE DAME
LOSS: Following up last year’s 3-9 record by going 6-6. Actually, 7-6 if you count the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl'aka the Free Vacation Bowl'which of course a .500 team is unquestionably qualified to play in.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because college teams shouldn’t have network deals. Mediocre but overpaid? They’re the Jay Leno of collegiate sports!
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LOSER: SEAN AVERY
LOSS: Indefinite suspension after referring to his ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert as sloppy seconds
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because the guy’s a goalie-screening, fight-dodging, flopping prima donna. But don’t take our word for it. This guy’s got the evidence.
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LOSER: BRETT FAVRE
LOSS: Coming out of retirement to guilt the Packers into taking him back, then going to the Jets and missing the playoffs thanks to nine interceptions (and two TDs) in his last five games.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Mostly because we hate his Wrangler ads. Oooooh, salt of the earth! Fuck outta here.
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LOSER: DALLAS COWBOYS
LOSS: The worst defeat in twenty years…to mortal enemies the Eagles…to knock them out of playoff contention. Hee.
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Hard to say. Is it their megalomaniacal cracka-ass owner Jerry Jones, their saggy pudendum of a coach Wade Phillips, Paul Bunyan’s stunt double Jason Witten, oldest living Gerber baby Terrell Owens, their penchant for signing thug fantasist fuck-ups, or Joe Simpson’s London Bridge partner Tony Romo?
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LOSER: NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
LOSS: Three the hard way, you miserable sons of bitches. First was the hubris-crushing Super Bowl loss to the Giants, then the ACL-crushing loss of Tom Brady, then the soul-crushing loss of going to the playoffs thanks to a byzantine series of divisional tiebreakers (Dolphins and Ravens, drinks on us!).
WHY IT FEELS SO GOOD: Because we hate the Patriots. We hate smug-ass golden boy Brady and his surprisingly competent stand-in Matt Cassel, we hate Bill Belichek and his sleeveless sweatshirts (no hobo), we hate Tedy Bruschi and his inspirational return from a stroke, we hate injured part-time gargoyle Laurence Maroney, we hate Randy Moss and his incongruous local-TV weatherman voice, we hate white-power icon Wes Welker, we just hate them all. Fuck you all sideways with a goalpost. Except you, Deltha O’Neal. You’re so terrible that it’s always fun watching you get pwned.

New York Jets QB Brett Favre is a lock for the Hall of Fame. He’s also a world-class dick. While jock-slobbering media types would have you believe the good ol’ boy gunslinger is the perfect teammate, the truth is #4 is only out for self. According to FOX’s Jay Glazer, the former Green Bay star tried to cock block the Packers by revealing offensive secrets to their week two opponent, the lowly Detroit Lions (who still couldn’t win the damn game).

Favre was apparently bitter because the Pack wouldn’t let him come out of retirement and automatically reclaim the starting QB job from Aaron Rodgers, or go to a division rival, where he could try to punish them twice a year for their mistake. Sadly, snitching isn’t Favre’s only offense. Read on for five more reasons why Brett Favre is a dick…


UNETHICAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MEDIA
Most athletes cheat on their wives as quietly as possible with call girls and groupies. Favre prefers to have his balls licked publicly by NFL analysts/announcers/fluffers Peter King and John Madden. Reached for comment, King had this to say of their wholly inappropriate relationship: “Gobble gobble gobble slurp.”

LAYING DOWN FOR A FRIEND
According to the liberal media, Favre is the most competitive player of all time…and yet he took a dive in 2001 so his pal Michael Strahan could break Mark Gastineau’s single-season sack record. For that, he gets another sack'right on his chin.

BEING AN OLD FART
Favre shares secrets with his enemy’s enemy, but what does he give his own teammates in the huddle when they’re looking for guidance and leadership? A big ol’ hi-larious ass-burp. Pfft-thetic.

RAISING THE STEAKS
What’s beef? Brett Favre’s Steakhouse contributing to Wisconsin’s public health problems. Aside from throwing a touchdown pass for the Jets, nothing gives #4 greater pleasure than spotting livers (pronounce “lirves”) with Favre Chardonnay and making sure his old fans sweat cheddar on their deathbeds.

FONDLING GON-ADS
This is what we took from watching Favre’s Wrangler Jeans commercial: He’s comfortable…with keeping a team of young male models chained up in the shed in case he needs to feed his hunger for extremely-soft-touch football. Pats on the ass all around.

His vengeance factor will be higher than a muthafucka, and that always makes for a great game. Chad’s not the only sports figure to have revenge on his mind on the playing field. We ranked our top five favorite moments of vengeance in sports.

Click here for the countdown…