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Count Your Drinks With The Beer Tracker

If you’re like us, you’re often searching for answers as to why you’re so f’ing hungover the morning after a long night of bar hopping. Now, thanks to this Beer Tracker that keeps a tally of every draft you open, you’ll be able to put and end to the short-term memory loss.

Doubling as a bottle opener, the handy tracker uses a digital counter that adds 1 every time you crack open another brewski. Besides being the envy of all the frat-boy types when the Tracker comes out of pocket (so awesome bro!), you’ll also be able to use the device as solid evidence that you drank wayyy too much the night before—the only reason you’d ever leave with that 300-pound chick. After the jump, peep the ultimate video compilation of embarrassingly drunk people.

Popularity: 6% [?]

Parents Protest Wii Beer Pong Game

It won’t be released until next week, but the new Frat Party Games: Beer Pong—a title on Nintendo’s WiiWare download service—is already sparking controversy. Lisa Lombardozzi, chairman of a Virginia Community Coalition, is apparently upset about the game’s “teen” rating, calling for parents to sign a protest petition because “The game encourages younger kids to emulate the patterns of college-age kids.”

A spokesman for the game’s creator defended it by saying, “If anything, you’re going to be drinking less…Because you are too busy playing the game, trying to beat your opponent, to be constantly picking up a beer and drinking it.” In our opinion, the kids need constructive video games like beer pong, otherwise they’ll just end up driving drunk on GTA. Watch the trailer after the jump to see what all the hype is about.

Popularity: 61% [?]

Chug Faster With The Bierstick

If only this Bierstick was around when we were in college, funneling would’ve been a lot less messy. The giant beer syringe that closely resembles a beer bong enables chuggers to drink up to 24 ounces of alcohol in less than two seconds. Nuts!

The end-cap acts as a suction cup that sticks to any stationary surface, so you can post it up against a wall, table, or like picture above, against your chicks breasteses. Get it here for $20, then check a step-by-step detail of how to use the chug-machine after the jump.

Popularity: 72% [?]

Allover Print 40 Cozys Might Get You Stomped Out

Being a media company means we get some weird shit sent our way: pink tasers, XXXL Sizzurp t-shirts, even a Chingo Bling bobblehead (look out for him in an upcoming Complex video!). And for the most part, we let sleeping dogs lie; if we happen upon something spottieottiedopalicious, we’ll mention it, but most of the stuff just falls by the wayside. On rare occasions, though—and we’re talking about as often as Busta Rhymes has a sense of humor about himself—we get sent something that’s so impossibly egregious, so jaw-dropping in its wrongheadedness, that we have no choice but to put it on blast like Peter North popping a Cialis at Cape Canaveral. And today, that something is, ahem…

AN ALLOVER PRINT COZY FOR A FUCKING 40-OUNCE.

Yes, the good people at 40cozy.com sent us a sample of this abortion; it features an alternating pattern of crowns and malt liquor bottles. Oh, and it also comes in such non-presumptuous options like bandana print and camouflage! The official motto is “Bringing a little class to the front porch.” AHAHAHAHAHA! White people are totally keeping it real! We sent them a letter suggesting an alternate motto: “Keep your cargo shorts dry, you clown-ass motherfuckers, so that you can rap along to Chronic-era Snoop songs and feel the illicit thrill of yelling the N-bomb along with your meaty-necked frat brothers before you go tongue each other’s asses in the name of brotherhood.” Is the 40 Cozy sufficient grounds for stomping someone out on G.P.? Weigh in on our poll after the jump.

Popularity: 85% [?]

Bun B Welcomes L-R-G and Courvoisier To Texas

You don’t have to be a UGK fan to know that Bun B is the man. Take the recent Complex party with L-R-G and Courvoisier for instance. The underground king hosted the Houston leg of L-R-G spring tour at End Zone Fashions, where he and guests like super-producer Manny Fresh greeted some of H-Town’s finest eye candy. Oh, L-R-G and Courvoisier’s cool line of products from their recent collab were on display too. See what you missed after the jump.

Popularity: 86% [?]

1800 Tequila’s Collectible Bottle Art

For those of you that collect empty bottles of liquor like badges of honor (we see you, Sisters of Ki Assa Slappa) comes a real reason to hold on to your dead soldiers. 1800 Tequila has come out with a series of nine collectable bottles designed by artists from around the world (Chicago’s Jeremy Bacharach and Mexico City’s Jorge Alderete have two of the dopest, pictured above). Not only that, but they’ve got a promotion where folks can submit their own bottle designs and…please no…oh the humanity…design their own shoes (exactly what tequila and shoe design have in common is for you to figure out). Check out their website for more info, and watch our favorite tequila-related movie scenes after the jump.

Popularity: 85% [?]

Sniffing Out The Bad Breath-alyzer

Sometimes doing the ol’ “breathe into the hand” move isn’t quite scientific enough to tell when you have dragon breath. Luckily, Japanese company Topland has developed the Etiquette Checker, a useful little hand held device that evaluates your mouth odor on a scale of 1 to 6 (with 6 being “really bad”). Simply breathe into the device, and it displays your stank level, along with your blood alcohol content (for all the smelly and drunk bastards out there). It’s available for $59 at Japan Trend Shop. Not convinced? Watch a Japanese commercial for the Checker after the jump.

Popularity: 85% [?]

Georgi Vodka Offers Six Figures for Spitzer’s Hooker’s Butt

The madness that is Ashley Dupre aka former Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s seven-diamond ho continues. Georgi, the vodka brand that caught the attention of many a New Yorker a few years ago—even getting censored—when it began plastering the rear ends of models on the backs of the city’s buses, is offering the esteemed escort “a low six-figure amount” to be their “butt girl,” making them the first official brand in the running to market the fun loving prostitute. The annual “butt girl” award bestows the proud winner with the distinguishable opportunity of showing their ass off in advertisements on roving city vehicles. The vodka maker is even considering a brand called No. 9, an ode to Spitzer’s hooker designation number. Ignore the naysayers, you stay classy Georgi!

[AdAge]

Popularity: 89% [?]

Sling Shot Extra Pale Ale Hits the Spot

We can’t think of a better holiday to announce a new mischievously sounding beer like Sling Shot Extra Pale Ale than today, in honor of that guy who did that thing with the snakes or something. MacTarnahan’s Brewing Company, located in Portland, Oregon prides itself on its unique microbrews and like most craft beers, Sling Shot contains about twice as much alcohol (6.2% to be exact) as your favorite domestic or imported suds and is brewed using the finest Cascade and Nugget hops. Taking a cue from the streetwear scene, this new beer will only be available as a limited release—Spring/Summer ‘08 only—and will only be found in the Northwest. For more on Mac beers head over here.

Popularity: 88% [?]

Lucid Absinthe Will Make You Want To Go Green

Long rumored to cause hallucinations, delirium, and a general downward spiral in all who consumed it, Absinthe is finally making a comeback. The US government lifted its ban on the green-tinted booze last year and Lucid is the first distiller to start dropping bottles. Guess Uncle Sam finally figured you’re man enough to go head-to-head with a bottle of wormwood. That’s the herb used in the distilling process commonly blamed for causing Absinthe drinkers to go batshit. Don’t worry, it won’t happen to you. Probably.

[Holy Taco]

Popularity: 56% [?]