Most likely, Chris Kattan’s name hasn’t crossed your mind since you last YouTubed a “Mango” SNL skit or pulled out a copy of A Night At the Roxbury in a fit of nostalgia for the days when Will Ferrell was actually funny. Recently, however, Chris Kattan’s name has been everywhere—or at least it seems so, with the über-colorful billboards announcing his return to TVs across America in the mini-series titled Bollywood Hero. The three-part series will air on August 6-8 at 10 p.m. on the IFC channel.

In Bollywood Hero, Kattan will be playing an exaggerated version of himself: an actor so desperate for a leading role that he takes one in Hollywood’s South Asian sibling industry. Up next for Chris is a role in the upcoming ABC sitcom Middle. The man’s busy, but we managed to grab a few minutes of his time to chat about cock rings (ayo!), 3-D glasses, and heartbreaking actresses…

Interview by Valeriya Safronova

 #1: WHAT HAS TO BE IN YOUR FRIDGE AT ALL TIMES?

Chris Kattan says: My fridge? What has got to be in there? Well. Lemonade? And I like kombucha. It has algae in it. That’s like a living organism. It’s really amazing for you. Look it up online! Kombucha. You drink it. It doesn’t taste great. I try to drink it everyday.

 #2: WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SNEAKER OF ALL TIME?

Chris Kattan says: I think New Balance. I’m wearing New Balance 990s. Those are nice. I mean, they feel good, and they have a little extra height on them. I’m 5’8”, though, so it’s not too bad, but I like to date girls who are 6’11”.

 #3: WHAT’S THE MOST EMBARRASSING PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU’VE EVER WORN?

Chris Kattan says: A cock ring. I’m joking. No, I never wore a cock ring. How about…I know! One time I went to a tanning booth—like a few years ago—and they said, “Here’s a little thing for your crotch.” And it’s like a little pocket. That was embarrassing. That or a dance belt. Any dance belt. It’s a thing for your front that has a string on the back. Basically, it’s like a G-string.

 #4: WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER ONE DEAL-BREAKER FOR A GIRLFRIEND?

Chris Kattan says: If they don’t have a sense of humor.

 #5: WHAT’S THE WORST WAY YOU’VE BROKEN UP WITH SOMEONE?

Chris Kattan says: Worst way? A friend of mine, she broke my heart. She’s an actress and she said she had to go do a movie outside of a L.A., and she might have to fall in love with the leading man opposite her. And I went, “Oh, okay.” She said for creative reasons. She was doing a love story—she’s a great, amazing actress, and that’s how she…Yeah. There you go.

 #6: WHEN’S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Chris Kattan says: Uh, I’m about to, ’cause, um, you’re upsetting me. With the [last] question. Uh, no. Last time I cried was when, uh, I saw UP in 3D. Not because of the movie, but because my glasses were hurting.

Complex: The movie was sad too though.

Chris Kattan says: I don’t know. My glasses were hurting. I don’t know if it was sad or not.

Complex: You know you’re allowed to take them off.

Chris Kattan says: Yeah, but then there’s like a thousand balloons as opposed to a hundred.

 #7: IF YOU HAD A WEEK HOLIDAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Chris Kattan says:I would nap on the plane and then have six days in India. As opposed to five. Cuz the travel is another day and a half. It takes at least a day to fly there.

BONUS QUESTIONS:

Complex: Are there any major impressions that India made on you?

Chris Kattan: Major impressions? That I think it’s a good idea to go to a third world country for a while once in your life to get a taste of the world. So you can get out of your own little box.

Complex: Did you get to see a lot outside of the typical Western experience over there?

Chris Kattan: Yeah, definitely. Ten weeks is a while, so…We shot on location, on the streets of Mumbai, so I saw a lot of the slums and got a taste of the poverty, and the population, and the struggle of human beings. And survival. Its depressing, and it’s reality.

Complex: On the other hand, it’s inspiring that everyone manages to keep going.

Chris Kattan: Yeah, well it’s life. That’s survival. We just don’t know what that kind of survival is. We Americans are really fortunate. That so-called freedom of speech is a subject I completely forgot about. Being there, I was like, “Oh, that’s right. American Constitution thing. Declaration…” All those things I learned in school that I completely took for granted.

Complex: Were you a Bollywood fan before this project?

Chris Kattan: Well, I was but I didn’t know as much about it. I wasn’t educated because America doesn’t get the opportunity to see a lot of those great movies that are over there. They’re so magical…the music and the vibrancy. You know, they’re really pure, really entertaining films. They can be a little campy for those of us that only watch The Reader or something, but you know, it’s great entertainment.

And that’s what was neat about this show. To play somebody, to play an extension of myself that has the ego of somebody who really wants to be the leading man, but doesn’t understand that you don’t have to be. Which I learn in (episodes) two and three—I find out that it’s okay to be myself. [Co-star] Maya [Rudolph] was like in the beginning, “Why don’t you just be you? A shorter, less attractive version of Keanu Reeves.” I was like “Oh, thanks.”

Obviously, Portman landed the role because she’s dating the Venezuelan folk singer. But with the plethora of real life Bollywood beauties out there, we might have cast someone who is actually, you know, Indian. Everybody knows Aishwarya Rai, but there are a gang of younger starletts just waiting for an introduction to the West. After the jump we’ve compiled five real Bollywood stunners who would’ve put Portman’s performance to shame.

1. MALLIKA SHERAWAT

The model/actress made a name for herself in Murder, a movie that was inspired by Hollywood’s Unfaithful (starring Richard Gere). Sherawat’s first name means “empress” in Indian. Hail to the queen.

2. KATRINA KAIF

The Hong Kong-born actress got her start modeling at the age of 14 doing jewelry ads. Since then, the 24-year-old has acted in 13 films, with Singh Is Kinng and Yuvraaj slated for release this year.

3. SHILPA SHETTY

Though Shetty (we don’t want to hear any “shitty” jokes) is a staunch advocate for humanitarian causes like PETA, and HIV/AIDS, the veteran actress was at the center of controversy last year when Richard Gere violated Indian customs by kissing her repeatedly on the cheek at a safe sex press event. He couldn’t resist and neither can we.

4. SAMEERA REDDY

This hottie is a classically trained dancer that made her way to music videos. She also has her own video game for cellphones called Sameera the Street Fighter. Trained dancer = flexibility = good in the sack = we’re in love.

5. BIPASHA BASU

Bips was on track to go to medical school until she chose to flaunt her beauty instead of brains on the big screen. She was also a forgotten video girl in R&B singer Jay Sean’s “Stolen.”

Watch Natalie Portman in the “Carmensita” Video: