BLOG

Olympic Rap Battle: Michael Phelps Vs. Amanda Beard

There’s blood in the water. Tuesday, on 93.7 KRQ Tucson’s “Johnjay and Rich in the Morning” radio show, Olympic swimmer and model Amanda Beard made a few sideways comments about fellow USA Olympian and national hero Michael Phelps. When asked if they were dating or had kissed, she replied, “Eww, that’s so nasty! … Come on, I have really good taste.” Phelps, who is drowning under eight fresh gold medals (not to mention endorsements and groupie love), has brushed it off, and Beard has apologized for making jokes at his expense.

Of course, Complex couldn’t let it die with such a minimal splash. We imagined the swimmers using their breath control to battle. It’s no race to the finish, just a test of rap skills. Check out the verses below and vote on who leaves who wet up.

The 5 Hottest Paraguayan Women

“And the gold medal for Camel Toe goes to…”

The Beijing Olympics really has us in touch with the beauty of sport and the pageantry of international competition. So when we watched insanely hot Paraguayan javelin tosser Leryn Franco attempt (and resoundingly fail) to qualify in her event this morning, we started thinking… beauty … international… competition… fuck, Paraguayan women are hot!

So with the competitive Olympic spirit in mind, we went sniffing through the heart of South America to unearth Paraguay’s finest women. Who wins the gold? We’ve got medals to give!

Click Here To See The Winners…

5 Reasons We Don’t Care About Olympic Swimming

There are some compelling stories in the water at the Beijing Olympics. Freakish swimmer Michael Phelps is setting records and winning gold medals left and right, threatening to break Mark Spitz’s record of seven at a single Olympics. Dara Torres, 41, is old as well-sculpted dirt and she’s still collecting hardware in her fifth Games (her first was 1984).

But despite all the attention swimming is receiving, we’re not still not fully-sold on the sport—and we have our reasons. Check out five valid points on why we don’t give a shit about what’s going on in the pool…

The Best Of The Worst Anti-Asian Racism

Hateful, offensive humor has only a few easy targets left: gays, retards, and—our personal favorite—Asians. So we weren’t really surprised to see the Spanish Olympic basketball team making a “Me Chinese!” slanty-eyed gesture for a magazine ad. You think that’s offensive? Ho Rearry?? We put the Spanish ad up against other recent examples of anti-Asian racism in the media using our exclusive Chinaman rating scale…

Smog Style: The Pollution Mask Shopping Guide

The Olympic Opening Cermonies were awesome—got to give China that—but unfortunately the pollution is a pretty pret-tay big problem over there. Just in case you’re kicking it in the Forbidden City for the Games, we’ve put together a short list of pollution-defying (and ultra-fashionable) masks to help you deal with dusty air, spitting locals, or even the unexpected SARS outbreak…

New Olympic Sports We Want To See

So yeah, you might have heard: The Summer Olympics started in Beijing today. That sound you hear is our collective disinterest in the entire spectacle. We mean, outside of Women’s Gymnastics. It’s a great chance to watch flexible, limber teens in action without having the feds seize your laptop.

What would make the Olympics better? We’ve got some ideas for new Olympic sports that would undoubtedly keep us entertained. Considering that they added BMX (effing yawnfest if you ask us) as an Olympic sport this year, our suggestions don’t seem that far-fetched. Some of them anyway. Check out our Olympic sport proposals below…

Lego Beijing Replica Takes An Olympic Effort

It may not set any world records, but this Lego city is cooler than any plastic metropolis we’ve seen. Built by the Hong Kong Lego User Group, the partial Beijing replica celebrates next month’s Olympics with scale models of many of the venues where the Games will take place, including the National Stadium, the National Aquatics Center, and Olympic Village.

The model consists of over 300,000 bricks and 4,500 figures, and will be on display at the Grand Century Palace in Hong Kong through August 31. After the jump, check out a gallery of pics to see the amazing attention to detail.

Nike’s Hyperdunk Ad Is In Your Face

Nike’s new ad campaign for the Hyperdunk is subtle like testicles in your eye sockets. The posterization promotes the shoe Olympic basketball players will be wearing in Beijing next month and recalls Vince Carter’s infamous dunk at the 2000 Games in Sydney, when the 6’6” USA guard leapt over France’s 7’2” center Frederic Weis. (Actually, the high-flying dunker propelled himself higher by pushing Weis’s head down—and then scraped his sweaty balls against it.)

At the time, VC was wearing Nike’s most technologically advanced hoops shoe, the Shox BB4. The Hyperdunk, which features Flywire technology and Lunarlite foam, is Nike’s lightest and strongest basketball shoe ever, and the company clearly hopes it will play a part in an equally memorable facial. See VC’s infamous teabagging of Frederic Weis after the jump.

The Faces Of The Beijing Olympics Game

Click on the image to view the full cover

We have fond memories of button-mashing Konami’s old Track & Field game (way) back in the day at the local arcade. Sadly, there hasn’t been a decent Olympics-based video game since then.

SEGA hopes to buck the trend with its new Beijing 2008 Olympics video game, which ships on June 24. The game simulates over 35 events (including tae kwon do and judo, suckas!) and is playable online for some true world competition. In advance of the release, SEGA just revealed the game’s box art, which features U.S. medal hopefuls Amanda Beard, Tyson Gay, Nastia Liukin and Reese Hoffa. See some shots from the game and learn who the choice athletes are after the jump.

Hyperdunk: The Kobe 4?

In more awesomeness news from the Nike “Innovation Summit” on Beijing Olympics tech comes the Hyperdunk. This basketball shoe features “Flywire” technology, a feature that was originally developed to help Nike make a lighter-than-air track spike (which they did and will also debut at Beijing). Flywire works a lot like a suspension bridge, where instead of panels providing support, there are “cables” that are sewn across the foot for support while cutting back and forth, cutting down on weight substantially. Kobe is gonna run point on making you want to buy it, and will be wearing it during tonight’s game versus the Clippers. Check out some photos of Kobe, Mark Parker, and design sketches of the shoe, after the jump.