When seeking public office, there’s always the potential of screw-ups that result in grueling embarrassment for the entire family. It comes with the territory. While I’ve touched on the subject of male politicians who engage in extra-curricular smashing, I’ve yet to explore the other side of the coin: embarrassments by the wife. While few and far between, there is a history of First Ladies— most recently Maria Shriver who was caught talking on her cellphone while driving twice in California this week—who have made their governing husbands blush. Although Shriver is the latest, here’s a few more examples of when first ladies embarrass their politician spouses…

5. Winnie Mandela, South Africa, 1991
• Winnie’s had a tough life. As one of the more controversial political figures in South Africa, she’s had her share of legal complications. Although never officially First Lady of South Africa, Ms. Mandela was still married to Nelson when he became President in 1991. Shortly after his election, Ms. Mandela was charged as an accomplice in the death of 14-year-old anti-Apartheid activist, Stompie Seipei. The young Seipei, who was accused by activists of working as an informant, was kidnapped, tortured and killed allegedly at the hands of Winnie’s bodyguards. Despite a conviction, her sentence was reduced to a fine. Five years later, she officially divorced Nelson, who had accused her of adultery.
————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

4. Leila Ben Ali, Tunisia, 2008
• When Tunisia’s investigative journalists bloggers tracked the President’s airplane mileage, records showed an extensive itinerary of flights to Paris, Milan, Geneva and elsewhere. One problem: he wasn’t on the plane. It turned out that his wife, a former hairdresser, was a bit of a high-end shopaholic. While she never issued a formal statement regarding the matter, we’re waiting on her collaborative t-shirt: Expensive Taste x Poor Taste.
————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

3. Mari Culver, Iowa, 2008
• Shortly after Iowa’s Governor, Chet Culver, passed a law banning cigarette smoke in public places, his wife was seen puffing on a loosie in a state-owned vehicle. She apologized for the hypocritical act, paid a $50 fine and probably went out back to light up another cig from all the stress. Now about that marijuana bill…
————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

2. Lucy Kibaki, Kenya, 2009
• The wife of Kenyan president Mwai Kibaki has had her moments of political turbulence. While once embroiled in controversy after slapping a journalist for covering a protest, she is most recently in the midst of a price-fixing dispute surrounding corn, referred to in Kenya as “maize”. Apparently, the government uses public funds to purchase a “Strategic Reserve” from local farmers to be used in times of famine. With 10 million Kenyans facing starvation, it was time to break open the stash. Well, unfortunately, one million bags were missing. Members of Parliament accused Ms. Kibaki of selling the reserve supply to foreign brokers, creating an artificial shortage and, therefore, driving up the price. The First Family released a statement in her defense claiming that the allegations were merely a distraction to the core issues of food availability.
————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

1. Maria Shriver, California, 2009
• It’s not everyday that a state Governor thanks TMZ via Twitter – especially only days after introducing a bill that could fine paparazzi up to 50K for photographing celebs engaged in “personal activities”. But when pictures surfaced of Ted Kennedy’s niece blabbing on her celly while behind the wheel, her action-film husband had no choice but to promise to take “swift action”. She apologized, donated her disgraced mobile device and, I assume, upgraded.
————————————————————————————————————————————————————-
• CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT JOHN BROWN’S WEBSITE!
• CLICK HERE FOR MORE “POLITICKIN’ WITH JOHN BROWN” POSTS

Sometimes, when Ayo! Scott is in the heat of passion, his lucky conquests have accused him of being a Terminator-like cyborg. Not because he’s tediously robotic but because he’s a fuck-machine who never needs to stop for food or rest while killing the punani. Does that have anything to do with Terminator Salvation? In the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s T-800: negative. Ayo! just thought you should know your lady-friend likes the rise of his machine.

Like many a robot-loving fanboy, Ayo! was skeptical when McG, director of such film “classics” as Charlie’s Angels and Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, got his hands on this classic sci-fi property. He’s not a visionary filmmaker like James Cameron, who wrote and directed The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment Day. How then could he reboot the series and recover from the scrap metal (emphasis on the “crap”) that was Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines?

It turns out McG does have some vision, and it’s beautifully bleak. In 2018, post-apocalyptic California is lit up by the sun for the first time in the history of the franchise, and it’s crumbling, smoking and dust-covered, ruined either by Judgment Day or Governor Schwarzenegger’s term in office. Ashy Los Angeles is deserted save for two kids, which isn’t all that bad, considering the city is currently overpopulated with douchebags.

The franchise’s fourth installment focuses on the development of the technology seen in the earlier movies. Terminators are still relatively primitive, Skynet having not yet created one that blends in with humans who have massive pecs and thick Austrian accents. The development of the T-800 infiltrator model, using human captives in sick experiments, is at the center of Terminator Salvation, which starts forebodingly with death row inmate Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington) donating his body to Cyberdyne’s scientific studies in 2003. On the human side, John Connor (Christian Bale) is systematically fighting the machines but is not yet the leader of the human resistance; he’s just a questionable cult leader who preaches about his mom’s prophesies, referring to the cassette tapes she left him as if they’re holy texts.

Though man and machine mix it up in the movie, they work well together in the making of it. Quality CGI and actual life-sized Terminator robots balance well with strong performances from Bale, Australian newcomer Worthington and Anton Yelchin. Yelchin plays Kyle Reese in his teenage years, well before he’ll travel back in time and impregnate his idol John Connor’s mom with John Connor (lube your skull for that mind-fuck). As with all Terminator movies, the action is of utmost importance, and here the clash of metal and flesh is as intense and unrelenting as Ayo!’s aforementioned Terminator strokes (Ayo! would like to sincerely apologize for your girl’s concussion).

Sadly, like Skynet’s machines, the flick is not without its weaknesses. Ayo! doesn’t like to delve too deep into issues of time travel in sci-fi films for fear of ruining the fun, but it makes zero sense that John Connor should be baffled by human-machine hybrids. He did, after all, become homies with Schwarzenegger in T2, and he’s aware that his mom and father were once pursued by this same model. Also, McG would have done well to terminate a few pointless characters, like Star (Jadagrace), Reese’s mute-girl sidekick who does little more than look cute and shut the hell up, but who still gets a lot of screen time needlessly. Then there’s the undying issue of the rapper/actor. Common, who plays Barnes, one of Connor’s loyal resistance fighters, makes his rap name sound like an aspiration (if only he were as good as average). Ayo! suspects that Hollywood has latched onto him because he’s a peace-loving, tofu-eating, affable, bohemian MC who shows up to set on time and doesn’t intimidate people (he’s no DMX, who might delay shooting by weeks for a crack binge, then pop up suddenly and assault anyone who tries to disturb him while he sleeps under a trailer). Perhaps studio execs think he’s a draw for black audiences, but that assumes black people love shitty acting (burn Hollywood burn!). It takes special talent to butcher the line “Huh?” but Common manages to because, unlike his diet or the crocheted caps he used to wear, his delivery ain’t all natural. He acts hard as unbelievably as he raps hard, which is why it’s so frustrating that he keeps landing the role of steely-eyed soldier, steely-eyed assassin (Wanted, Smokin’ Aces) or steely-eyed drug dealer (Street Kings, American Gangster). Ayo! thinks he might really shine in the RuPaul biopic. Then again, maybe not—he ain’t that fierce.

These film farts are like viruses in the Terminator Salvation program, but McG does enough positive stuff that the franchise doesn’t require another reboot, just a systems check. Hopefully in the next installment, which plans to deal with the development of time travel technology, Common will be sent back to the time of dinosaurs and eaten before the opening credits. If there’s even the hint of that happening, Ayo! Scott will do like the Terminator and be back for more. Check out the trailer and decide if you’re ready for some man-on-machine action.

We’re not saying Marco Ribeiro is right or wrong, but we did take the opportunity to pull back the curtain and show you some of the many people who are responsible for making you laugh when you’re drunk in your hotel room watching Three Men and a Little Lady in Dutch…

MARCO RIBEIRO
• The Sean Penn of Brazil
Also Known For: Being a conservative protestant pastor. Also, looking like your vice-principal.

PAWAN KALRA
• The Arnold Schwarzenegger of India
Also Known For: Helping you re-install your OS from a partition drive. We’re here all week!

ORESTE LIONELLO
• The Woody Allen of Italy
Also Known For: As of last month, dying. Rest in peace, you spicy meatball.

JEAN-PIERRE MICHAEL
• The Brad Pitt of France
Also Known For: Weirdly, looking like Brad Pitt. Crazy hot wife not included.

TOBIAS MEISTER
• The Brad Pitt of Germany
Also Known For: Masking his pain by eating. Just taking a guess.

SELF-DUBBING POLYGLOT BONUS!
MONICA BELLUCCI
• The…Monica Belluci of France and Italy
Also Known For: Starring with Salma Hayek in the long-running erotic Wet Dream franchise, now playing in a man’s head near you.

As Skynet prepares to push humans to extinction in 2018, Connor and the mysterious new character Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington) trek to the heart of the operation and uncover the horrible secret behind the annihilation. Hopefully Arnold Schwarzenegger makes a cameo as a fat old Terminator that was designed to go unnoticed in Middle America. The movie hits theaters on May 22, 2009, so get an early peek at the debut Terminator Salvation trailer below.