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5 Actresses Who Might Like The Back Door

By now we’re sure you’ve heard about the cruel hoax rumor perpetrated on the male gender Anne Hathaway this week. Contrary to reports about her affinity for anal sex, Anne did not say that “every woman should try it,” or that it makes her feel “feminine in a very special way.” It was fun while it lasted, folks.

Anyway, once we were done fantasizing about playing Anne some backporch music being outraged at the rumor-mongering in our society today, we got to thinking: there must be some Hollywood hotties who use their service elevators for both business and pleasure. And lo and behold, after examining the public record, we found five who we think might be telling us there’s a key to their back door stashed underneath the flower pot.

Check out the suspected back door enthusiasts here…

Getting Wifed Up

You voted Anne Hathaway a wifey, and not a trifey. Congrats Annie! [LINK]

Seth Rogan & Kevin Smith covered our October issue and talked porn. [LINK]

We went behind the scenes at Brooklyn-born skate shop KCDC. [LINK]

And From The Complex Network:
Nice Kicks: Throwin’ it back with the Air Force V. [LINK]

Nah Right: Kim Osorio talks back to Benzino. [LINK]

Bastardly: Kim Kardashian has some serious CT. [LINK]

Kicks On Fire: The Kentucky Wildcats get their own Hyperdunk. [LINK]

Das Gamer: Read a review of Rock Band 2. [LINK]

Wifey or Trifey: Anne Hathaway

Now that the Emmys are done, it’s time to start dickriding the movie industry again, and in the early Oscar pool our money’s on Anne Hathaway. Her performance in Rachel Getting Married is one of the first roles this year to get the hype machine spun up. But we’ll leave such discussions up to Ayo! Scott. We’ve got a different question to ask. See, Anne is all grown up since The Princess Diaries–but what has she grown up to become? A wifey or a trifey?

Click Here to see the evidence and cast your vote!

Get Smart And Save Your Money

Steve Carell has come a long way since he was reporting fake news for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Sometimes Ayo! Scott wishes he’d go back where he came from. Not all the time, of course. Only when he follows up comedic masterpieces like Little Miss Sunshine and The Office with three successive family-friendly turds like Evan Almighty, Dan in Real Life, and Horton Hears A Who! Add to that list Get Smart, his remake of the 1960s Mel Brooks TV show about good spies battling bad ones. (Personally, Ayo! was hoping for a T.J. Hooker movie.)

In the new version, Carell plays the bumbling CONTROL spy Maxwell “Agent 86” Smart straighter than Don Adams did in the original, so you root for him to be the hero even while he’s roasting his nuts with a laser beam. It has the explosive action and sex appeal you’d expect from a summer blockbuster (though Anne Hathaway seems to desperately want to be a 45-year-old women, in movies and real life), but is sadly weighed down by obvious jokes that fall flat. The big tough assassin for KAOS is actually a softie with marital problems? Ayo!’s choking on the hilarity! President Bush is stupid? That gem will keep Ayo! chuckling as the spawn of Satan leads us all into the end of days!

On the bright side, for every deuce Carell drops, Jon Stewart has him back on the show as a guest for a few minutes of actual comedy. After the jump, watch the Get Smart trailer and Carell’s recent appearance on The Daily Show and decide which doesn’t suck.

How To Make Anne Hathaway Less Lame

Make no mistake: Anne Hathaway is a damn fine woman. Every time we see those classic features, red lips and porcelain skin, we get the sudden urge to make a baby and retire to Cape Cod. But damn, does she have to make so many terrible movies? If she puts out one more Disney flick, sappy rom-com or boring British period piece, we’re giving up.

With the exception of her straight-to-DVD epic Havoc—where she plays a rich girl who gets naked and engages in group sex with some Mexican gang-bangers (pun intended)—Anne has never made a single movie worth watching as far as we’re concerned. We’re reserving judgment until we see Get Smart (check back tomorrow for Ayo! Scott’s official review), but the recent rumors that she has broken up with her douche-bag Italian boyfriend Raffaello Follieri give us hope that she’s turning over a new leaf. After the jump, we reevaluate Anne’s career and suggest some movie roles she should have taken instead.