Okay, Zac, fine; you want to make movies that have already been made. In that case, maybe you should consider reprising some of these other well-loved movie roles'roles that feature you dying in horrible, gruesome ways that we’d gladly fork over 10 bucks to watch. Read on to see what flicks (and specific scenes) we think he’d be perfect for…

ZAC AS: Jared Leto in American Psycho

Scene Most Fit For Efron:
You know, a judo, a chop chop chop…

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ZAC AS:Joe Pesci in Casino

Scene Most Fit For Efron:
And you can’t beat that with a bat!

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ZAC AS:Seann William Scott in Final Destination

Scene Most Fit For Efron:
Poor Stiffler…all chopped up with no place to go.

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ZAC AS: Samuel Jackson in Deep Blue Sea

Scene Most Fit For Efron:
Biters, biters everywhere…

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ZAC AS: Edward Furlong in American History X

Scene Most Fit For Efron:
This is what happens when you rebuff Larry Craig’s men’s-room advances…

Sure, some movies have worked on Broadway–Legally Blond, Shrek, The Producers–but those are all broad comedies. We’re talking about a movie that was adapted from an actual, no-pictures, BOOK. Two severed thumbs down, American Psycho: The Musical. And in case any of you would-be impresarios are considering adapting other books-that-became-movies into musicals, take our advice and don’t do it. Especially not these five book/movies…

BOOK/MOVIE: Fight Club
ORIGINAL AUTHOR: Chuck Palahniuk
POTENTIAL SONG TITLE: “The White Man’s Durden”
SAMPLE LYRIC: “I’m a bare-knuckle brawler, a pit bull, no lipstick/Inspiring the likes of Ed Norton and Bitch Tits!”

BOOK/MOVIE: There Will Be Blood (from the book Oil!)
ORIGINAL AUTHOR: Upton Sinclair
POTENTIAL SONG TITLE: “Milkshake Jubilee”
SAMPLE LYRIC: “The derricks are gushin’ with that sweet black delight/I’m gonna drink your milkshake from your manly milkshake piiiiiiipe!”

BOOK/MOVIE: Carlito’s Way
ORIGINAL AUTHOR: Edwin Torres
POTENTIAL SONG TITLE: “All the Stitches in the World (Reprise)”
SAMPLE LYRIC: “I did it myyyy way/No, I’m kidding, now I’m done/’Cause Benny Blanco from the Bronx caught me out there with no guuuuun!”

BOOK/MOVIE: Requiem for a Dream
ORIGINAL AUTHOR: Hubert Selby, Jr.
POTENTIAL SONG TITLE: “Super Heroin”
SAMPLE LYRIC: “Crackheads suck dick for a hit, there’s no harm/Why not tag-team a dildo for a needle in my arm?”

BOOK/MOVIE: Naked Lunch
ORIGINAL AUTHOR: William Burroughs
POTENTIAL SONG TITLE:“Everything’s An Anus”
SAMPLE LYRIC: “Maybe it’s the heroin, or just my own fixation/But everything I see looks like it’s meant for defecation!/My typewriter talks and there’s freaks everywhere/Perhaps I should never have made this musical–but who caaaaaares?”