Oh how quickly the tables have turned for Alex Rodriguez. Formerly the black sheep of baseball due to his steroid use, A-Rod now has a key to the city after helping the Bronx Bombers bring home their 27th championship ring. Besides retooling his public image, it seems Mr. Bitchtits has learned how to put a decent outfit together.

His look at the Knicks/Cavs game last week exuded a bit of effortless style. He kept it casual with nice denim, a bomber jacket, and a gray sweater. Then he added a touch of sophistication with the scarf and, for some reason, a fedora. It’s the first time he’s been worthy of a Complex style post (clap for him!). And since we still think he looks corny in anything but a baseball uniform, we also broke down A-Rod’s on field Yankee uni for all you true blue baseball fans. See below to check out how you can clean up like A-Rod…

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• CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE CELEBRITY STYLE GUIDES!

Yesterday came the news that Detroit had elected a new mayor, former Pistons star and NBA Hall of Famer Dave Bing (Bing’s replacing D-Town’s “Hip-Hop Mayor” Kwame Kilpatrick, who kept it a little too real and landed himself in the bing). Bing’s not even the first former NBA star to be elected mayor in the past year; former Suns All-Star Kevin Johnson was tapped to run his hometown of Sacramento last fall.

But why limit potential athlete-mayors to their hometowns or the cities where they played? We’ve selected five off-the-beaten path cities and assigned them to the pro athletes we think would be their best chief executives…

Tipp City, Ohio: Alex Rodriguez
• This town of fewer than 10,000 people might be a bit small for a big timer like A-Rod, but at least he won’t have that many people to tell which pitch is coming.

Genoa, Nevada: Terrell Owens
• Genoa (pop. 252) is even smaller than Tipp City, but somebody’s gotta lead the “Home of the Candy Dance.”

Portland, Oregon: Ronnie Lott
• The former Niners safety who once had a pinky amputated so he could keep playing seems like a perfect fit for “Stumptown.”

Sumner, Missouri: Brett Favre
• “The Wild Goose Capital of the World” deserves Favre, the wild-goose-chase-leading quarterback who’s the NFL’s all-time leader in touchdowns thrown, yards and fake retirements.

State College, Pennsylvania: Danica Patrick
• We’ve always wanted to visit Danica’s Happy Valley.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse for Alex Rodriguez comes the news that—according to a new book from Selena Roberts—A-Rod’s Yankee teammates nicknamed the juiced-up slugger “Bitch Tits.” Wowwww. Now we really can’t wait for his first at-bat at Fenway.

Still, Alex is hardly the first man to be afflicted with tetas grande. We milked the historical archives of man-titties to find A-Rod’s breast friends. Now let’s take a trip down (male) mammary lane, shall we?


THE O.G.: This is Bob. Bob had bitch tits. He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high and his body upped the estrogen. And that was where I fit…between those huge sweating tits that hung enormous, the way you’d think of God’s as big.

THE CLINICAL CASE: This poor Englishman suffers from gynecomastia, the medical term for the condition which is usually caused by an imbalance of sex hormones. “A-Gynecomastia” doesn’t quite roll off the tongue like “Bitch Tits,” though.

KIDDIE TITTIES: The poor kids that are forced to wear T-shirts when they go swimming. Thank God for gastric bypass!

BREAST RAPPERS ALIVE: We’d include Bonecrusher with Crack and Officer Ricky but sadly, nobody can find him.

MALE IMPLANTS(!): High-stakes gambler and total fucking weirdo Brian Zembic accepted a $100,000 bet to get breast implants. He then wrote a book about the experience. Is it sad or funny that he got better fake titties than the majority of working female porn stars?

CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE MAN-BOOB!

All athletes lie. They’re tortured by losses; the weed/coke/gun/child porn wasn’t theirs; they didn’t know it was illegal to drink a bottle of tequila and drive over a pedestrian; getting punched in the face by a teammate brought everyone together. Nobody is surprised by little white lies like these because they’re so common, but sometimes athletes get caught in the BIG ONES.

Starting with New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez’s shocking steroid revelations, this week has been a non-stop parade of athlete scandals thanks to the exposure of half truths and outright lies. Revisit the ugly truth with Complex and decide who is this week’s most offensive liar…


ROBERTO ALOMAR
• The 41-year-old former MLB second baseman allegedly has full-blown AIDS and lied to himself and his girlfriend, Ilya Dall, who he dated from 2002-2008, insisting they have unprotected sex despite physical signs that he might be HIV-positive (cold sores, a blood disorder linked to AIDS, erectile dysfunction, thrush, a chronic cough and fatigue). In a $15 million negligence suit, she alleges that Alomar was raped by two men when he was 17 and, despite the aforementioned reasons for concern, didn’t get tested until January 2006. We don’t yet know if he selfishly and stupidly put his lady’s life at risk or if Dall, who runs a Queens massage spa, is a slanderous golddigger, but we do know somebody has a date with Satan.

ANTONIO MARGARITO
• The California State Athletic Commission revoked the boxer’s license, as well as his trainer’s, for tampering with his hand wraps prior to his January 24 fight against Shane Mosley. Margarito’s hands were properly re-wrapped minutes before the fight and “Sugar” Shane went on to TKO him in the 9th round. Upon further inspection, investigators found an illegal component in his knuckle pads, and Margarito tried to play dumb and lay all blame on his trainer but the commissioners weren’t stupid enough to believe him. In retrospect, he realizes he should have punched them in their heads repeatedly first before making his case.

MIGUEL TEJADA
• The All-Star Houston Astros shortstop pleaded guilty to lying to Congress about the use of performance-enhancing drugs in professional baseball. In 2005, he told House investigators that he didn’t know anyone in baseball who used PEDs, but there is now evidence that he spoke to a teammate in Oakland about his steroid use and copped human growth hormone off him. Apparently the brain, like the balls, does not get bigger when you use HGH.

ALEX RODRIGUEZ
• In 2007, A-Rod told CBS news anchor Katie Couric and the many baseball fans on his jock that he’d never taken steroids because he’d never felt overmatched. After Sports Illustrated reported that he tested positive for steroids in an anonymous 2003 survey, he told ESPN he took steroids from 2001-2003 because he wanted to live up to his monster contract, everybody else was doing it and the she-men he beds were routinely beating him in arm wrestling foreplay.

BRETT FAVRE
• The gunslingin’ New York Jets quarterback is retiring. Again. No, seriously. This time he really thinks he’ll be content to spend his days hunting and his nights sitting by a fire, resting his head in John Madden’s lap while Peter King rubs his feet. But just to be safe, check back in in when NFL preseason starts.

The Pink Ladies, as we like to call them, will probably generate crazy buzz for the game, but really…could they have assembled more of an obnoxious cock-boy band? If you're like us, you probably hate each one for a different reason. Watch the video below, than vote in our poll to decide who’s the biggest douche of the bunch. Hating on a Friday, gotta love it…

[via Just Jared]