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Self Cleaning Toilet Is Coke Head’s Worse Nightmare

First off, we don’t know anyone who does coke in a bathroom and uses the toilet as a surface—the anxiety alone of having your yay this close to water would be enough to ruin your high, plus that’s what keys and fists are for—but this German commercial for self cleaning toilets is still funny. It’s also a great jab at the historically ‘Just Say No’ cliché tagline that was the hallmark of a failed drug policy during, ironically, cocaine’s heyday.

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DQM’s $67 Commercial: You Get What You Pay For

The only props we’re giving Dave on this Christmas commercial is his ability to ride those bicycle rollers without falling on his ass, not everyone is that graceful. Otherwise it’s all downhill from here.

Bathroom Drunks Used To Discourage Drunk Driving

At first glance this might look like a typical, drunken, Last Night’s Party-styled bathroom photo shoot but it’s not. This is actually part of an “I’m fine to drive” ad campaign that features various young-ins passed out, throwing up (with thong showing), and keeled over with t-shirt slogans like:

• “I just need to get it out of my system.”
• “I’ll sober up when I’m behind the wheel.”
• “I’ve driven home like this hundreds of times.”

Whether or not these will actually thwart drunk driving is anybody’s guess, but it’s guaranteed to give those same life taking drunks a damn good laugh before they, god forbid, drive home drunk.

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Winding Down: A Shadow of Her Former Self

There should be a rule that whenever a magazine plans on running a cover of a naked pregnant women, they should be heavily Photoshopped. With that said, guess who this is. [Egotastic]

It’s nice to see that there’s bigger 8-bit nerds out there than us as evidenced by this super over sized Atari controller. [Newlaunches]

Check out these ads from a very un-politically correct age. [Presurfer]

Here’s a cheap and easy way to customize your gadgets without breaking the bank. [Geeksugar]

Calvin Klein’s Pretend Splasher Ads

If you’ve been walking around downtown NYC’s mini Times Square (Houston Street between Broadway and Lafayette) you may have come across what appears to be a hugely vandalized Calvin Klein billboard. But the splashing of pink paint over the almost copulating models over the past few days represents a collaboration between Calvin, the New Museum, and Droga 5, not the work of the notorious Splasher, who did “splash” that NECKFACE Vans billboard just around the corner months back. Although we don’t see how this represents a “mesmerizing mash up of graffiti, fashion, and art” at least they’re trying something that’s Time tested.

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AT&T’s Sneaker Commercial

When blue-chip brands usurp aspects of cool culture the results are usually disastrous. But we have to hand it to AT&T for not screwing up this commercial aptly entitled “Kicks,” that follows a Midwest-based sneakerhead to all his favorite sneaker spots: Alife NYC, UNDFTD in LA, Motive807 in Austin, and Solebox in Berlin. To achieve this effect, exact replicas of each store were painstakingly recreated.

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Nice Girl Turned Naughty

Axe continues it’s ingenious misogyny-based ad campaign that keeps us thoroughly entertained. In this new spot, a hot defendant is standing next to her lawyer in court while the judge reads off a long, kinky, and sorted list of charges, in part due to the naughtiness caused by a whiff of the manly antiperspirant. And look at her face, she’s guilty of every count.

Nokia Takes A Bite Out of Apple

Nokia couldn’t have planned this ad campaign at a better time. With recent word that Apple released a new firmware for it’s godly iPhone that not only rendered the now infamous “unlock” useless—so users could opt for other networks besides AT&T—but also zapped the other 3rd party applications and “unauthorized software” that people were downloading and experimenting with. There goes all those cool ringtones, video games, and other add ons that gave iPhone users some sense of mild amusement. The posters were spotted in NYC over the weekend. As Engadget notes, this ain’t the first time Nokia pounced on the iPhone, and probably won’t be the last.

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Winding Down: Pirated Material

Natalia Bush gives us no reason to be scared of a little skull and crossbones. [Horny Oyster]

This dude is mad lucky. He not only lives after a chair leg penetrated his eye socket and throat in a brawl, but also didn’t even lose his eye. [boingboing]

Those Burning Man hippies can be sooo controversial sometimes. Check out these pretty amazing pictures of a ‘Barbie Death Camp.’ [Presurfer]

Nissan is wowing the internets with their imaginative ‘LA as a giant wooden labyrinth’ video. [Techeblog]

Yoga Makes You Tie Your Sneakers Weird

Although it’s doubtful that we’ll find ourselves in Singapore anytime soon, if by some odd chance we do, we’re going to relax and stretch out at AbsoluteYoga. Where else can one execute the “restringshoelacesasana” position? We’ll readily admit to being sneaker obsessed so once they throw in a pair of kicks, a new technique for tying laces (Ian’s got nothing on this), and then add a chick that can flex like a Tantric sex goddess, we’re pretty much sold on anything. Even if the spa is like 9500 miles away.

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