Music Yeah, We Know: The Top 5 Least Surprising Celebrity Self-Outings

We didn’t know Rolling Stone was still around, so it took a little while for the news to finally sink in. And, uh, *drumroll*…American Idol’s Adam Lambert is gay. *SHOCKED GASPS ALL AROUND*. Hadn’t this already been established? Apparently not, since Lambert decided to let every American who doesn’t have eyes or ears (he was previously photographed holding hands and making out with men) in on the big secret. You know, just in case we were actually as dumb as we act. (Don’t let the act fool you, people, we’re bodying your favorite magazine/blog.)

The thing is, Lambert isn’t alone in his desire to state the obvious (or to overestimate our interest in what his preferred orifice is). Famous faces—from survivors of the pre-Internet dark ages to modern boy-band burnouts—have done their best to shake the world with their sexual admissions, when in reality it was about as controversial as Wilford Brimley having some Quaker Oats and taking an mid-afternoon nap. Click on to see the Top 5 “You’re Gay? No shit!” Moments…