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Paper Touchin’ With The Euro Wallet

Newsflash: the American dollar is worthless. At the rate things are going, we’re going to be wiping our asses with Benjamins in six months. Meanwhile, with the European Union’s currency adding up to over 50% more than America’s, stacking Euros is the new way to ball. Shoot, even Jay-Z was showing off a stack of Euros in the “Blue Magic” video.

So unless you wanna look like a poor American, we suggest you pick up this Martin Margiela Euro Wallet. Inside is a nice leather billfold where you can keep those pesky greenbacks hidden, while the outside is masked by a faux-5 Euro note with a band tied around it. Unfortunately, you’ve gotta spend about $387 (American) at Oki-Ni to get one. Check out other images after the jump.

Tip Of The Week: Watch Buying Advice

1. BUY OVERSEAS
They’re duty-free and available in models that you won’t find here.

2. EXPAND YOUR BRAND SCOPE
Study up on Zenith, Ulysse Nardin, and other enthusiast brands.

3. KNOW YOUR CLASPS
From butterflies to buckles, they are an integral part.

4. VERIFY YOUR ONLINE PURCHASE
Check watchfinder.com, then email the manufacturer to validate dealer.

Related: Brand Profile: New Watches From Baselworld

Winding Down: Jessica Alba Brings the Horror

While Complex is recreating classic comedies with Olivia Munn, Latina magazine is doing classic horrors with Jessica Alba. [Egotastic]

If you’ve got money to burn and are a retro gaming freak, this tabletop arcade is the machine to have. [Bornrich]

Burton’s got the bag for cold weather messengering. [Acquire]

Black Rat Press has got Swoon prints for sale. Go now. [TWBE]

Winding Down: Jaime King Is the Jewel In the Crown

Sin City’s Jamie King is a queen in our book. [Horny Oyster]

Stick to your thoughts with Message Tape. [Uncrate]

Stick on eyes let you doze off at work or on that late subway ride. [Neatorama]

Lipstick knife is sharp and sweet. [Nerd Approved]

A Smoking Gun For Cigarettes

While we’d never advocate putting an actual gun in your mouth, this sterling silver, 2.25 inch long jammie is an ideal way to not only blaze your favorite tobaccos, but to also serve as a jovial reminder of the ritual nicotine suicide you’re committing every time you light up. On the other hand, it could be an ironic acknowledgment of your vice and a blatant flaunt of your fearlessness. Point the barrel towards your mouth, load up the chamber, and fire up. Of course, it could just make for the fanciest ($80) roach clip ever if you prefer real smokes instead.

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Winding Down: Lace It Up With Noemie Lenoir

We’ve never heard of Noemie Lenoir before today, but we’ll bet we never forget about her. [Horny Oyster]

Atari joystick shaped candle is hot. [URLifestyle]

Shower belt allows you to stay clean on the go. [Likecool]

Sure the MacBook Air is light as a feather, but have you seen the MacBook Fire? [DidntYouHear]

Oakley Tries To Break Into the Post-Apocalyptic S&M Hipster Market

How else can you possibly explain their newest offerings? In an odd move for a traditionally action sports brand know for making surfer inspired sunglasses, amongst other accessories, Oakley presents the Medusa Hat ($500) and matching Medusa Goggles ($250). Although they might look like props befitting for Mad Max and crew, these are actual products to satisfy the freakiest fetishes for gimps, dommes, and tastemakers alike.

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Winding Down: Harlequined

Kirsten Dunst gets a Miu Miu makeover for Spring. [Dlisted]

This home-on-wheels only looks like a garbage truck. [Likecool]

If you’ve got between $25k and $300k to throw around and love skateboarding, check out these custom backyard skate parks. [Ballerhouse]

We showed you their computer case, now behold the ultimate blunt case by ‘Halliburton.’ [Sybarites]

Patagonia’s ‘Stellar Black Hole’

If you’re in the market for a bag that will hold all your essentials and then some, you might want to take a peek at this new duffel from Patagonia. The ‘Stellar Black Hole’ is a “potato-shaped haul-it-all bag” that is good for traveling, smuggling, or transporting bodies. It features welded seams (claims they’re 3x stronger than sewn seams), 420-denier rubberized WeatherShed thermoplastic polyurethane for waterproofness, and even sports adjustable webbing straps that allow the bag to carried as backpack too. Perfect for all your traveling and quick escape needs. $170, www.patagonia.com

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‘Halliburton’ Keeps Your Computer Safe and Sound

If you’re looking for a portable almost-bomb-proof option to safeguard your laptop and by extension your life, you might want to check out this new line of protective cases by ZERO Halliburton (although they could indeed keep your laptop safe in a war zone they have no ties to the other, eviler company bearing the same name). Made of aluminum, the 5″ thick case comes with a shock-absorbent foam interior, a triple-digit combination lock, and a variety of pockets and folders to hold all your crap, making these hard-sided protectors perfect for traveling or people with on-the-go lifestyles. Get ‘em here in silver or gun metal.