We’re not saying that these shows are guaranteed to suck (some of them might actually turn out to be pretty damn good) but judging by what little we do know, it’s pretty obvious to us that some of these are terrible ideas. So awful, that we’re wondering if the average Complex reader can even spot the real from the fake. So here’s a list of the 10 Worst Pilot Ideas For Next Fall (plus a couple of fakes, which are revealed at the bottom). See if you can spot the ones we pulled out of our ass.

COMEDY: UNTITLED IRS PROJECT, FOX
PLOT: A comedy about IRS auditors starring David Krumholtz (Numb3rs).
COMPLEX SAYS: This show has got a few things going for it. For one, it’s written by The Simpsons/The Office alum writer Brent Forrester. Secondly, it’s being executive produced by Ron Howard who once brought us Arrested Development. However, we smell a Parks And Rec meets The Office train wreck approaching. And the train of TV ripoffs is never late.

DRAMA: NOMADS, CW
PLOT: A group of young adults backpacking through Europe start performing secret missions for the CIA.
COMPLEX SAYS: The pilot will be written and directed by Ken Sanzel, the former-NYPD police officer turned executive producer of Numb3rs. We’re guessing that Sanzel has run into some real live criminals in the past, but we’re also guessing he’s never met a post-grad who had no special training (besides how to make a tent) but knew how to do super spy shit like defuse bombs and kill henchmen.

COMEDY: TALES FROM SPRINGFIELD, FOX
PLOT: FOX has finally commissioned a proper Simpson’s spin-off. Instead of focusing on the Simpson family as in the original show, Tales From Springfield will focus on all the other characters who make up the town of Springfield.
COMPLEX SAYS: Originally conceived during the making of the classic Simpson’s episode “22 Short Stories About Springfield,” this show has a lot of potential to be better than the current incarnation of the show. However, the current incarnation of the show is so awful that even a major improvement would still be a FAIL. Oh, Matt Groening, haven’t you made enough money?

COMEDY: SHIT MY DAD SAYS, CBS
PLOT: A television adaption of Justin Halpern’s incredibility popular Twitter account (shitmydadsays) with William Shatner playing the dad.
COMPLEX SAYS: Now, we love Twitter, and we’re big fans of Halpern’s twitter account, but Shatner or no Shatner, there’s no way a show about the foulmouthed shit your dad says will ever work on network TV. F*#@ YOU, FCC!

COMEDY: THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD, NBC
PLOT: Based on the popular Dos Equis advertising campaign, it follows The Most Interesting Man In the World through his various adventures.
COMPLEX SAYS: We really, really want to give this show a chance but after that awful show based on Geico’s cavemen ad campaign, the bar is simply set way too low.

DRAMA: THE CAPE, NBC
PLOT: A police officer is framed for murder, so he fakes his death and reinvents himself as a superhero.
COMPLEX SAYS: Superhero films have made a lot of strides in this decade, but we wish we could say the same about superhero TV shows. When we see an ad for a superhero film we can hope that it’s as good as The Dark Knight or Ironman. However, when we watch a superhero TV show, the best we can hope for is that it’s as good as Smallville or Heroes.

DRAMA/COMEDY: CUTTHROAT, ABC
PLOT: A single mother in Beverly Hills runs a drug cartel while learning how to make it in high society.
COMPLEX SAYS: Basically this is just Weeds meets 90210. YAWN. Call us if they cast someone as hot as Mary-Louise Parker.

COMEDY: OUTSOURCED, NBC
PLOT: A fish out of water scenario where an American man moves to India to manage customer service reps.
COMPLEX SAYS: We’ll totally be watching this pilot with all our friends and a bottle of Tequila. That way we can play the Outsourced Drinking Game! You take one shot for every Indian character with an accent, you take two shots for every reference to curry, and when characters inevitably start rapping about curry in Indian accents you have to drink the whole bottle.

COMEDY: WRIGHT VS. WRONG, ABC
PLOT: The show focuses on a sexy, driven conservative pundit who is a total hypocrite in her real life.
COMPLEX SAYS: When we hear the words “conservative pundit” and “hypocrite” we were totally sure this show was about Rush Limbaugh, but then we remembered it included the words “sexy” so we realized this show must actually be about Ann Coulter.

COMEDY: BEACH LANE, NBC
PLOT: A reckless millionaire hires a famous author (Matthew Broderick) to run his small town newspaper in the Hamptons.
COMPLEX SAYS: Matthew Broderick has always avoided the small screen and settled for Broadway when he wasn’t making films. Broderick only committed to this show for two reasons: 1) The insistence of Saturday Night Live/30 Rock executive-producer Lorne Michaels, and 2) He was allowed to read the read the script himself before having to commit to the project. That might sound like Broderick was exercising quality control, but we’re talking about a guy who committed to films like Deck The Halls and Inspector Gadget, so it’s quite possible Broderick is illiterate.

OK, we admit it. We made up The Most Interesting Man In The World and The Simpsons spinoff, but don’t act like you wouldn’t watch those shows instead of the rest of these terrible ideas.

Most likely, Chris Kattan’s name hasn’t crossed your mind since you last YouTubed a “Mango” SNL skit or pulled out a copy of A Night At the Roxbury in a fit of nostalgia for the days when Will Ferrell was actually funny. Recently, however, Chris Kattan’s name has been everywhere—or at least it seems so, with the über-colorful billboards announcing his return to TVs across America in the mini-series titled Bollywood Hero. The three-part series will air on August 6-8 at 10 p.m. on the IFC channel.

In Bollywood Hero, Kattan will be playing an exaggerated version of himself: an actor so desperate for a leading role that he takes one in Hollywood’s South Asian sibling industry. Up next for Chris is a role in the upcoming ABC sitcom Middle. The man’s busy, but we managed to grab a few minutes of his time to chat about cock rings (ayo!), 3-D glasses, and heartbreaking actresses…

Interview by Valeriya Safronova

 #1: WHAT HAS TO BE IN YOUR FRIDGE AT ALL TIMES?

Chris Kattan says: My fridge? What has got to be in there? Well. Lemonade? And I like kombucha. It has algae in it. That’s like a living organism. It’s really amazing for you. Look it up online! Kombucha. You drink it. It doesn’t taste great. I try to drink it everyday.

 #2: WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SNEAKER OF ALL TIME?

Chris Kattan says: I think New Balance. I’m wearing New Balance 990s. Those are nice. I mean, they feel good, and they have a little extra height on them. I’m 5’8”, though, so it’s not too bad, but I like to date girls who are 6’11”.

 #3: WHAT’S THE MOST EMBARRASSING PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU’VE EVER WORN?

Chris Kattan says: A cock ring. I’m joking. No, I never wore a cock ring. How about…I know! One time I went to a tanning booth—like a few years ago—and they said, “Here’s a little thing for your crotch.” And it’s like a little pocket. That was embarrassing. That or a dance belt. Any dance belt. It’s a thing for your front that has a string on the back. Basically, it’s like a G-string.

 #4: WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER ONE DEAL-BREAKER FOR A GIRLFRIEND?

Chris Kattan says: If they don’t have a sense of humor.

 #5: WHAT’S THE WORST WAY YOU’VE BROKEN UP WITH SOMEONE?

Chris Kattan says: Worst way? A friend of mine, she broke my heart. She’s an actress and she said she had to go do a movie outside of a L.A., and she might have to fall in love with the leading man opposite her. And I went, “Oh, okay.” She said for creative reasons. She was doing a love story—she’s a great, amazing actress, and that’s how she…Yeah. There you go.

 #6: WHEN’S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Chris Kattan says: Uh, I’m about to, ’cause, um, you’re upsetting me. With the [last] question. Uh, no. Last time I cried was when, uh, I saw UP in 3D. Not because of the movie, but because my glasses were hurting.

Complex: The movie was sad too though.

Chris Kattan says: I don’t know. My glasses were hurting. I don’t know if it was sad or not.

Complex: You know you’re allowed to take them off.

Chris Kattan says: Yeah, but then there’s like a thousand balloons as opposed to a hundred.

 #7: IF YOU HAD A WEEK HOLIDAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Chris Kattan says:I would nap on the plane and then have six days in India. As opposed to five. Cuz the travel is another day and a half. It takes at least a day to fly there.

BONUS QUESTIONS:

Complex: Are there any major impressions that India made on you?

Chris Kattan: Major impressions? That I think it’s a good idea to go to a third world country for a while once in your life to get a taste of the world. So you can get out of your own little box.

Complex: Did you get to see a lot outside of the typical Western experience over there?

Chris Kattan: Yeah, definitely. Ten weeks is a while, so…We shot on location, on the streets of Mumbai, so I saw a lot of the slums and got a taste of the poverty, and the population, and the struggle of human beings. And survival. Its depressing, and it’s reality.

Complex: On the other hand, it’s inspiring that everyone manages to keep going.

Chris Kattan: Yeah, well it’s life. That’s survival. We just don’t know what that kind of survival is. We Americans are really fortunate. That so-called freedom of speech is a subject I completely forgot about. Being there, I was like, “Oh, that’s right. American Constitution thing. Declaration…” All those things I learned in school that I completely took for granted.

Complex: Were you a Bollywood fan before this project?

Chris Kattan: Well, I was but I didn’t know as much about it. I wasn’t educated because America doesn’t get the opportunity to see a lot of those great movies that are over there. They’re so magical…the music and the vibrancy. You know, they’re really pure, really entertaining films. They can be a little campy for those of us that only watch The Reader or something, but you know, it’s great entertainment.

And that’s what was neat about this show. To play somebody, to play an extension of myself that has the ego of somebody who really wants to be the leading man, but doesn’t understand that you don’t have to be. Which I learn in (episodes) two and three—I find out that it’s okay to be myself. [Co-star] Maya [Rudolph] was like in the beginning, “Why don’t you just be you? A shorter, less attractive version of Keanu Reeves.” I was like “Oh, thanks.”