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How Should Delta Airlines Spend $1 Billion?

Yesterday, it was reported that Delta Airlines has taken out a $1 billion loan in anticipation of of its merger with Northwest Airlines. Delta’s CEO, Ed Bastian, was quoted as saying that the loan is intended to “increase our cash balance as we approach the closing of the merger,” and that the money “was not for any operating need” but rather to ensure “full financial flexibility” to move forward with the Northwest merger.

Bull. Shit. Delta needs a billion dollars because they’re fucking up. They charge too much for nothing and their customer service is going down the drain. There’s a Billi in the bank, so we’ve got a few ideas about how they could put it to good use…

Resorting To Vacations Underwater

Puffy and Hovie can have St. Tropez, the future of ballertastic vacations will be for those who check into this underwater hotel. The Poseidon Undersea Resort rests 40 feet underwater and boasts six restaurants, seven bars, a dive shop, a retail boutique as well as tennis and golf courses. This aquatic ‘tele is slated to open early 2009, and will be located on the Fiji islands.

[Like Cool]

Winding Down: Megan Is One Fox-y Lady

Sexpot Megan Fox hit the Verscae fashion show in Milan and apparently outfoxed the models on the catwalk. [Egotastic]

Artist Amy Sarkisian goes the Damien Hirst route, adorns human skulls with jewels. [Bornrich]

The North Face’s Flyweight Bags are light and airy. [Acquire]

If you’re bored at work and like old school arcade classics with a twist, great success! [Neatorama] [via]

Make cocktails like a mad scientist. Sick! [Likecool]

Sure it’s totally nerdy, but this Han Solo frozen in carbonite desk is amazing nonetheless. [BallerHouse]

Winding Down: The Icing On the Cake

Although Jenna Jameson might have officially retired from making porn, that doesn’t stop her from prancing around like a stripper whore. [The Grumpiest]

Check out this see through attache for the exhibitionist traveler demographic. [Luxist]

The coolest use of chewing game ever. [Newlaunches]

If sugar wasn’t enough of a rush, Snickers adds caffeine and taurine in new candy bar. [BBGadgets]

Virgin Galactic Prepares To Make Space Its Punk

British entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson has unveiled the official plan to slap the Virgin brand on the cosmos itself with the official launch of Virgin Galactic. Branson’s spaceliners will take six passengers (and two pilots) to sub-orbital space, more than sixty miles above the earth’s surface. For $200K passengers get a whopping five minutes of weightlessness and the possibility of sitting next to celeb space enthusiasts. According to the New York Post designer Phillippe Starck and Stephen Hawking have both signed up for flights slated to begin in 2009. Maybe he’ll give you a break on the ticket if you show up at the New Mexico launching grounds, Spaceport America, with a Virgin-logo trampstamp.

Go South With Burton’s 28 Day Winter

For more than 10 years Burton team riders have shredded the Southern Hemisphere while most America works on their summer tans. 28 Day Winter documents the latest mission with 176 pages of photographs by Dean “Blotto” Gray, Jeff Curtes, and Adam Moran. The shooters followed a squad of Burton riders including Terje Haakonsen, Hannah Teter, Nicolas Muller, and the ubiquitous Shaun White tearing up rocky terrain on the earth’s south side. Blotto, who we caught up with via email, described the evolution of the book, “After completing the month long shoot through Chile, New Zealand and 72 hours on Mt Hood in Oregon, the photography was compiled and we all said, ‘Let’s do this book.’ The title tells just what it was, a 28 day winter.” For anyone trying to start a North vs. South rivalry, Blotto had this to say, “The typical story with shooting snowboarding in the Southern Hemisphere was that of ‘It’s not as good as the terrain in the Northern Hemisphere…only good for catalog shots…not enough snow.’ We’ve never subscribed to this attitude and this book is a testament to that. You’re dealing with the best riders in the world, professional photographers, and terrain that will get you just as hurt as anytime in January or March.”
28 Day Winter: A Snowboarding Narrative ($40), powerHousebooks.com

Patagonia’s ‘Stellar Black Hole’

If you’re in the market for a bag that will hold all your essentials and then some, you might want to take a peek at this new duffel from Patagonia. The ‘Stellar Black Hole’ is a “potato-shaped haul-it-all bag” that is good for traveling, smuggling, or transporting bodies. It features welded seams (claims they’re 3x stronger than sewn seams), 420-denier rubberized WeatherShed thermoplastic polyurethane for waterproofness, and even sports adjustable webbing straps that allow the bag to carried as backpack too. Perfect for all your traveling and quick escape needs. $170, www.patagonia.com

[Source]

Winding Down: Ohhh Karolina!

Karolina Kurkova looks like she’s comin’ round the mountain. [Drunkenstepfather]

A money clip that doesn’t bend out of shape. You can thank the ‘Duck’ design for that. [Uncrate]

If you got money to burn on gold encrusted iPods and iPhones like an extravagant drug kingpin, gilty couture has you covered. [Bornrich]

As kinky as this looks, it’s actually just a black mink lined sleeping mask for jetrosexuals. [Sybarites]

Winding Down: Fresh Like Sushi

Gadgets, bizarre fashion, and weird fetishes aren’t Japan’s only exports, they’ve got hot models too, like Akina Aoshima. [HornyOyster]

Zeus letter opener is great for opening mail, even better as a murder weapon. [Gearfuse]

If you’re going to give her a vibrator for the Holidays, at least keep it classy and solid gold. [Bornrich]

Here’s a great way to organize your sneakers and gear. It’s also the best method to keep your stuff from smelling like ass. Oh, and they look cool too. [Acquire]

Winding Down: This Is As Close As You’re Gonna Get

Jessica Alba continues to let down the male species with her refusal to go nude. [Egotastic]

Never get blinded by snow again with these goggles. [AcquireMag]

These photo frames are actually slim speakers in disguise. [Oh Gizmo]

The new Learjet is dropping and it hits a top speed of Mach 0.82, just in case you’ve been waiting for the new model. [Sybarites]