Six-Word Recap: Complex chronicles a notable sporting event from the previous day in six words.

Check out the highlights of Orlando’s 110-84 ass-kicking of San Antonio below and add your own Six-Word Recap in the comments…

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10. CHRIS ALLEN, MICHIGAN STATE
DATE: 1/30/2010
VICTIM: John Shurna, Northwestern
COMPLEX SAYS: Shurna luckily pulled a fly-by or else this would’ve ranked much higher.

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9. JORDAN WILLIAMS, MARYLAND
DATE: 3/3/2010
VICTIM: Jon Scheyer, Duke
COMPLEX SAYS: Great dunk, but a little lackluster on the finish. If Williams came down like Pip on Ewing, this could’ve been #1. Jon Scheyer, salute!

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8. LANCE STEPHENSON, CINCINNATI
DATE: 2/24/2010
VICTIM: Mac Koshwal, DePaul
COMPLEX SAYS: Soundtrack: “Brooklyn, we go hard, we go hard…”

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7. TAVARIS WASHINGTON, ARKANSAS PINE BLUFF
DATE: 1/11/2010
VICTIM: Menji Mundadi, Alabama State
COMPLEX SAYS: Menji looked like he wanted to play some D at first, but Washington made him turn the other cheek. With his nuts, of course.

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6. REGGIE JACKSON, BOSTON COLLEGE
DATE: 12/6/2009
VICTIM: Cyrus McGowan, Miami
COMPLEX SAYS: Charging fouls are so gay sometimes.

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CLICK NEXT TO THE TOP 5 DUNKS…

Six-Word Recap: Complex chronicles a notable sporting event from the previous day in six words.

Sammy and The Special One! It was ghosts of Christmas past haunting Stamford Bridge yesterday, and my how sweet it was. Check out highlights below and add your own Six-Word Recap in the comments…

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10. CHEROKEE PARKS
YEARS AT DUKE: 1991-1995
NCAA HIGHLIGHTS: Two Final Fours, one national title
NBA CAREER: Retired after averaging 4.4 ppg over 11 years
WHY WE HATED HIM: This awkward, immobile giant got his name from his great grandma, who was part of the Cherokee tribe. To think, he was already annoying as fuck before he covered himself in lame tattoos.

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9. MIKE DUNLEAVY
YEARS AT DUKE: 1999-2002
NCAA HIGHLIGHTS: One Final Four, one national title
NBA CAREER: Averaging 12 ppg through his ninth year
WHY WE HATED HIM: Dunleavy Junior had the type of traditional white-man’s game (tenacious, “smart,” WHITE) that gives Dickie V boners—and pro scouts, evidently. The dude who looks like homie from Mask (not the Jim Carrey one) was drafted third overall in 2002…over Amare Stoudemire, Caron Butler, Tayshaun Prince, Carlos Boozer, to name four.

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8. DANNY FERRY
YEARS AT DUKE: 1985-1989
NCAA HIGHLIGHTS: Three Final Fours, zero national titles
NBA CAREER: Retired after averaging 7 ppg in 13 seasons; current GM of the Cleveland Cavaliers
WHY WE HATED HIM: The prototype of the under-athletic, overachieving white Dukie had an undeniably productive collegiate career which led to him being picked second(!) overall in the ‘89 draft. He may have had some good NCAA moments, but his only pro highlights are shit like this and this. Exposed!

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7. BOBBY HURLEY
YEARS AT DUKE: 1989-1993
NCAA HIGHLIGHTS: Three Final Fours, two national titles
NBA CAREER: Retired after averaging 3.8 ppg over three seasons
WHY WE HATED HIM: We can’t lie—the little PG from Jersey was pretty damn awesome at Duke, ending his career as the NCAA assists leader with a shitload of fundamentally sound chest passes. Still, back then we were riding with LJ, the Tark, and the Runnin’ Rebels. So naturally, we hated Hurley.

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6. JON SCHEYER
YEARS AT DUKE: 2006-present
NCAA HIGHLIGHTS: Zero Final Fours…yet
NBA CAREER: TBD
WHY WE HATE HIM: ESPN’s Dan Schuler writes: “He’s not your prototypical break-you-down-off-the-dribble with blow-by speed kind of point guard. I would describe him as a very cerebral player, a very unselfish player…” Doesn’t that scouting report fit everybody on this list? WHITE!

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5. GREG PAULUS
YEARS AT DUKE: 2005-2009
NCAA HIGHLIGHTS: Zero Final Fours
NBA CAREER: None; 2010 NFL draft prospect
WHY WE HATED HIM: After four seasons at Duke, he joined Syracuse for a year as quarterback on their football team. Are there flopping bitches in the NFL?

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4. CHRIS COLLINS
YEARS AT DUKE:1992-1996
NCAA HIGHLIGHTS: One Final Four
NBA CAREER: None, but played two years in Finland
WHY WE HATED HIM: Coach K’s current assistant couldn’t cut it in the NBA, Europe, or as an WNBA coach, but if they ever start a league of undersized white guards who over-celebrate jump shots and take charges like bitches…well, first-team all-star, no doubt.

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3. STEVE “WOJO” WOJCICHOWSKI
YEARS AT DUKE:1994-1998
NCAA HIGHLIGHTS: Zero Final Fours
NBA CAREER: None; played one year in Poland
WHY WE HATED HIM: Watching this little white gerbil pound the floor or scrap after a loose ball like the fucking kid you always hated in rec league…yep, that’s Wojo.

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2. CHRISTIAN LAETTNER
YEARS AT DUKE:1988-1992
NCAA HIGHLIGHTS: Four Final Fours, two national titles
NBA CAREER: Averaged 12 ppg over 17 seasons in the NBA
WHY WE HATED HIM: OK, we’re not gonna hate on the jumper against Kentucky—that shit was clutch, no denying that. What’s crazy about Laettner is that the media propped him up as this blond-haired, blue-eyed basketball savior, when he was really a dirty, nasty, angry villain. Not to play the Isiah card, but if he was “Tyrone from St. John’s,” we would have been spared some of the cringe-inducing accolades. But NOPE! “Christian from Duke” gets a ‘92 Dream Team spot over Shaq. WTF!?!

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1. J.J. REDICK
YEARS AT DUKE: 2002-2006
NCAA HIGHLIGHTS: One Final Four
NBA CAREER: Averaging 5 ppg through his fourth year in the NBA
WHY WE HATED HIM: He’s the quintessential arrogant, shot-happy white PG from Duke who generates enough hype to become a bench-riding NBA millionaire…and would-be rapper. Just look at the cockboy pose above. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the GOAT of most hated white duke players. Congratulations, J.J.!

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Six-Word Recap: Complex chronicles a notable sporting event from the previous day in six words.

So what if the Lake Show beat the GSW last night—how about Young Spice’s 29 points and 9 dimes? Watch highlights of the game and add your own Six-Word Recap below…

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VICTIM: DANIEL BRIERE, BUFFALO SABRES
DATE: 12/2/2006
PUNISHMENT: Five minutes for boarding, game misconduct; $1,000 fine
Ovie said: “He got turned around and I hit him. I didn’t want to give him some injury. It was an accident.”
Complex says: Ovechkin’s rep as a dirty player really began during his second year in the league with this cheap shot on Briere. We’re all for smushing from behind (word to Ronnie), but this one was straight reckless.
OVIE RATING [1 (clean) to 5 (dirtiest)]:

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VICTIM: ROB NIEDERMAYER, ANAHEIM DUCKS
DATE: 12/8/2006
PUNISHMENT: None
Ovie said: Nothing.
Complex says: Sorry, dude. Keep your head up.
OVIE RATING:

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VICTIM: VALENTIN WIRZ, SWITZERLAND
DATE: 5/6/2007 (IIHF World Championships)
PUNISHMENT: Five minutes for hit to the head, game misconduct; one-game suspension
Ovie said: “As I left the penalty box, the opponent was skating towards me. I did not move in his direction whatsoever, otherwise the impact would have been much harder. I saw him only at the last moment, because before I left the penalty box I was watching what was happening on the ice. He was but a meter from me. I had nowhere to go.”
Complex says: Ovie is just as mean when he laces up for Mother Russia—maybe meaner (ask Jagr). He claimed that the collision above was an accident, but it sure didn’t look like one. Shades here of Matt Cooke’s recent hit on Marc Savard. At least Wirz had the puck, though.
OVIE RATING:

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VICTIM: DUSTIN BROWN, L.A. KINGS
DATE: 11/20/2008
PUNISHMENT: Two minutes for interference
Ovie said: Nothing.
Complex says: When The Russian Machine is driving to the net, it really doesn’t matter what’s in his path. If you watch the full play, you can see that Ovie’s aggravated at Brown as the play develops. That definitely implies premeditation and motive.
OVIE RATING:

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VICTIM: JAMIE HEWARD, TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING
DATE: 1/1/2009
PUNISHMENT: None
Ovie said: “I saw him and he turned around and … I didn’t mean to hit him. It was an accident and I’m very sorry. I never want to hurt somebody, especially my old teammate. It’s hard and I’m very sorry, but it’s a game and it’s a moment. He turns and I have speed…”
Complex says: The outcome of this hit was certainly brutal—it ended Heward’s career—but it seems more the product of bad timing and bad luck than a particularly dirty play. More of a side shot than a from-behind one.
OVIE RATING:

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VICTIM: SERGEI GONCHAR, PITTSBURGH PENGUINS
DATE: 5/8/2009
PUNISHMENT: None
Ovie said: “Yeah, it probably was knee on knee—I tried to hit him with my shoulder and he just moved left (into) the same spot. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I didn’t want to hit him. I wanted to hit him, but I don’t want hurt him, especially knee on knee.”
Complex says: This knee-on-knee shot from last year’s epic Caps-Penguins series left Gonchar injured and Pens fans howling. Ovie clearly extends his right leg out to catch his countryman, which makes it pretty dirty to us.
OVIE RATING:

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VICTIM: PATRICK KALETA, BUFFALO SABRES
DATE: 11/25/2009
PUNISHMENT: Five minutes for boarding, game misconduct; $200 fine
Ovie said: “I just go take a hit and (Kaleta) just fell into the boards. Max, it’s got to be 2 minutes.”
Complex says: Here’s another “more-from-the-side-than-from-behind” shot. Couldn’t have chosen a better victim, either. Snicker.
OVIE RATING:

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VICTIM: RICH PEVERLEY, ATLANTA THRASHERS
DATE: 10/22/2009
PUNISHMENT: Two minutes for tripping; $2,500 fine
Ovie said: Nothing.
Complex says: Ovie haters: “Slew foot!” Ovie apologists: “Accident!” We’re on the fence on this one.
OVIE RATING:

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VICTIM: TIM GLEASON, CAROLINA HURRICANES
DATE: 11/30/2009
PUNISHMENT: Five minutes for kneeing, game misconduct; two-game suspnesion
Ovie said: “I don’t want to try dirty hits to make people get hurt, but sometimes people turn back or turn right away so I don’t have time to realize to stop. It’s pretty hard when you are skating fast and the guys just turn. What can you do?”
Complex says: Ovie ended up hurting himself in this collision with Gleason. Karma for leading with his knee again? Maybe.
OVIE RATING:

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Six-Word Recap: Complex chronicles a notable sporting event from the previous day in six words.

Watch highlights of the Cleveland’s 104-93 dismantling of Boston and add your own Six-Word Recap below…

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This is NOT the chick that Ben (allegedly) assaulted.

ISSUE: Ben Roethlisberger is accused of sexual assault in Georgia.

DARK MAN X SAYS: Pac-Man Jones so much as looks at a chick the wrong way and he’s getting Goodell’ed for 10 games. Big White Ben is groping his way through America and it’s not even the top story on Sportscenter? C’mon son.

WHITEY FORD SAYS: Dude, first of all: Big Ben is way too smart to get involved in something like this. Seriously, have you seen his Wonderlic scores??? Second: Mike Tomlin really needs to hold his players accountable. You can start the blame there.

COMPLEX SAYS: Wait a minute, getting domed out in a bar bathroom is illegal now? Uh-oh…

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Issue: Baylor’s Brittney Griner suspended for socking Texas Tech’s Jordan Barncastle in the nose.

DARK MAN X SAYS: Blondie couldn’t handle Brittney’s utter athletic dominance, so she reacted the way most Caucasoids do when threatened by the “other”—with some cheap, dirty shit. Then she got Snuffaluffagus’ed. Nothing to see here.

WHITEY FORD SAYS: That’s what we call hard-nosed basketball folks—playing the right way, with tenacity and hea—wait, what? She’s BLACK? Her name is Brittney! Oh, shit. Never mind. Thug!

COMPLEX SAYS: We need way more of this shit if we’re gonna start paying attention to women’s ball.

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Issue: Torii Hunter calls Dominicans “imposters,” says they don’t represent black people.

DARK MAN X: Divide and conquer, fucking brothers up since the slave trade. Thanks for making the devil happy, Torii.

WHITEY FORD SAYS: *Devilish laughter* We don’t really give a cotton-pickin’ hootenanny about separating the Manuels from the Maliks. If you’re darker than Derek “Half-Amazing” Jeter, then you’re BLACK, habla inglés or not. Meanwhile, enough of this “not enough blacks in MLB” crap. Face it: We’re going to dominate any sport that involves skill, not violence or jumping.

COMPLEX SAYS: The real question is…can Fat Joe still drop the N-bomb?

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Six-Word Recap: Complex chronicles a notable sporting event from the previous day in six words.

FOH, Nick Lachey! Check out Dime’s top 8 conference-tourney moments here, then watch highlights of the Mountaineers‘ 54-51 victory over the Bearcats and add your own Six-Word Recap below…

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Six-Word Recap: Complex chronicles a notable sporting event from the previous day in six words.

Poor Cristiano. Gotta feel for him, right? Ha. Ha. FOH! Read on to see Madrid crash out of the Champions League at the feet of Lyon, and add your own Six-Word Recap in the comments…

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Before Selection Sunday—and those two glorious weekdays of gaining five pounds in pizza weight as the NCAA Tournament field of 65 gets cut to 32—there are the conference tournaments. Significant if for no other reason than being the first official Madness of March, the conference tourneys have provided some of the college game’s most memorable moments—almost on par with the Big Dance. So, while you’re watching the best of the Big East, ACC, Big 12, SEC, Pac-10, Big Ten, and more this week, here are Dime’s favorite conference tournament moments…

#8: Everybody Hates Duke
WHEN: 2004 ACC championship game, Maryland vs. Duke
DIME SAYS: Duke is the standard dividing line in sports: Either you’re with the Blue Devils, or you’re against them. Either you’re a fan forever, or you hate them to no end. This game ranks as a historical landmark in the Duke Haters’ national archive: Coach K’s favored squad-winners of the last five ACC titles losing to the underdog Terrapins; J.J. Redick, Shelden Williams, and Chris Duhon staring into space in utter disbelief as the loss set in; and best of all, the little kid in the crowd wearing a Duke jersey, crying his eyes out. Actually, that might have been Greg Paulus.

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#7: Ladies and Gentlemen…Joakim Noah
WHEN: 2007 SEC championship game, Florida vs. Arkansas
DIME SAYS: Joakim Noah is a clown. We all know this. We all knew this. So for Noah to make experienced broadcasters speechless, he must have done something memorable. We didn’t say something cool, or something a sane person would do. Just memorable.

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#6: Tyler Hansbrough and The Worst Celebration Ever
WHEN: 2008 ACC semifinals, North Carolina vs. Virginia Tech
DIME SAYS: Although the Heels fell short of a national championship, Hansbrough owned college ball in ’08. He swept all the relevant National Player of the Year trophies and officially landed a spot in Dick Vitale’s will. So why was “Psycho T” drawing comparisons to noted NBA scrub Mark Madsen during the ACC tourney? Because after Hansbrough’s baseline J knocked off Virginia Tech at the buzzer, he took off in one of the whitest White Man moments ever seen.

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#5: Georgia is Cinderella before Cinderella
WHEN: 2008 SEC Tournament, Georgia vs. Arkansas
DIME SAYS: Usually the “glass slipper” and “big pumpkin” references don’t pop up until the Big Dance, when mid-major schools try toppling big-name powerhouses and stealing the nation’s hearts. But the ’08 UGA Bulldogs earned Everybody’s Favorite Underdog status well before the big bracket thanks to their insane run through the SEC Tournament. Led by current NBA/D-Leaguer and NYC playground star Sundiata Gaines, Georgia was sub-.500 in the regular season, but knocked off four favored teams in three days to win the conference crown. After they beat Ole Miss in the first round, a tornado rocked host city Atlanta and made the Georgia Dome unfit to play in. So the next day, UGA had to play twice (on Georgia Tech’s campus), upsetting Kentucky and Mississippi State. Then, after three nail-biters, Georgia completed the job by beating Arkansas fairly easily in the title game. Gaines copped tourney MVP, averaging 17.2 points. Nobody blamed the exhausted Bulldogs when they exited in the first round of the NCAA Tournament.

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CLICK NEXT TO SEE DIME’S TOP 4 MOMENTS…

Six-Word Recap: Complex chronicles a notable sporting event from the previous day in six words.

This shit is getting kinda old, yeah? See below for Kobe’s game-winner against Toronto and add your own Six-Word Recap in the comments…

• CLICK HERE TO SEE DIME’S DEFINITIVE LIST OF KOBE AGITATORS!

Anybody who watches MSNBC’s Lockup knows this much about prison etiquette: It’s all about perception. You might come into the bing at 5′4″ with a real pretty mouth, but if you create the perception right away that you’re stone crazy, you can drop the soap all you want and not have to worry. Same rules apply in basketball. Guys only mess with you if you let them think they can, which is why Kobe Bryant is such a strange case. Despite being the illest player on the planet for the last decade, Kobe still regularly runs across opponents who treat him like a rookie. Of course, Jordan had his agitators, but by the time MJ was a few rings deep, they were fewer and farther between. Even the younger, less-decorated LeBron doesn’t have as many guys going after his head. With Kobe, there still seems to be a perception around the League that he’s soft and susceptible to mind games.

Over the weekend, Matt Barnes joined the rank and file of Kobe instigators. Although the Orlando Magic swingman was on the wrong end of a 34-point effort by Kobe, he had Kobe more frustrated than anybody has all year, and Barnes’ team got the win. That got us thinking about the surprisingly long list of Kobe’s most notorious agitators…

RAY ALLEN
DIME SAYS: The feud peaked when Ray was in Seattle, and was briefly reignited when he joined the Celtics and beat Kobe in the ’08 Finals. Back in ’04, Kobe’s first year without Shaq, Ray publicly questioned Kobe’s leadership ability and predicted he would regret losing the big fella. “If Kobe doesn’t see he needs two-and-a-half good players to be a legitimate playoff contender or win a championship, in about a year or two he’ll be calling out to Jerry Buss that. ‘We need some help in here,’ or ‘Trade me.’ And we’ll all be saying, ‘I told you so.’” That led to an alleged threatening phone call from Kobe to Ray and some tense stare-downs on the court, but both guys have downplayed the rivalry ever since.

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RON ARTEST
DIME SAYS: They’re on the same side now, but Artest and Kobe have had their battles in the past. Things came to a head during the ’09 playoffs, when Ron-Ron’s Rockets gave the eventual champion Lakers a scare in the second round while Artest and Kobe traded elbows and technical fouls. In fairness, though, Ron doesn’t discriminate towards Kobe. He’d act like a bully if he was playing against his auntie.

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SHAQUILLE O’NEAL
DIME SAYS: Maybe this should be the other way around, because no matter what Shaq may have said or did to ruin the relationship in L.A., it’s hard to top Kobe name-dropping Shaq to the Colorado cops. After Shaq left the Lakers, the League and the media tried to force a Kobe/Shaq rivalry, which never really materialized. But while both sides say it’s all good now, who can forget this?

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RAJA BELL
DIME SAYS: Straight from Jay-Z’s “If I shoot you I’m brainless, but if you shoot me you’re famous” class photo, Raja’s career would be utterly forgettable were it not for his run-ins with Kobe. Claiming he was only retaliating against Kobe’s dirty tactics (apparently like this “elbow”), Raja made a name for himself in the ’06 playoffs when he unleashed a clothesline on Kobe that Big Van Vader would’ve been proud of. Raja later called Kobe “pompous” and “arrogant” and said he didn’t respect him, but Kobe only responded with the “I don’t even know who this guy is” bit.

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CHRIS CHILDS
DIME SAYS: The Buster Douglas to Kobe’s Mike Tyson, Childs has his own statue in the Kobe Haters Hall of Fame for what he did during a 2000 Knicks/Lakers game. Going face-to-chest with the taller Bryant, Childs popped Kobe with a quick one-two straight right and jab combo, then made some slick defensive moves to avoid whatever onslaught Kobe had planned. Kobe might have been able to get some revenge, but David Stern apparently had Childs sent to the same island as Jimmy Hoffa—he was rarely heard from again after that fight.

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CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE KOBE AGITATORS!

Six-Word Recap: Complex chronicles a notable sporting event from the previous day in six words.

Hot sauce, in the bag! See below for highlights of Cleveland’s LeBron-less 97-95 defeat of San Antonio. and add your own Six-Word Recap in the comments…

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THOMAS “HOLLYWOOD” HENDERSON, NFL
SENTENCE: 4 years, 8 months (1983)
CONVICTED OF: Sexual assaulting two teenage girls in L.A. after claiming to give them crack cocaine in exchange for consensual sex.
COMPLEX SAYS: Henderson was released after serving 28 months. He later admitted to using coke during the Cowboys’ Super Bowl XIII loss, too. Helluva drug, yeah?

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TREVOR BERBICK, BOXER
SENTENCE: 4 years (1992)
CONVICTED OF: Sexually assaulting his children’s babysitter in Florida.
COMPLEX SAYS: Berbick served 15 months and was deported to Canada following his release. Which was more humiliating: this case or this one at the hands of Iron Mike?

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GRAHAM RIX, ENGLISH FOOTBALL COACH AND FORMER PLAYER
SENTENCE: 1 year (1999)
CONVICTED OF: Indecent assault and unlawful sex with a 15-year-old, who was the daughter of a family friend.
COMPLEX SAYS: After serving six months, he immediately regained his position as assistant manager for Chelsea. They operate under different rules over there *cough* JT *cough*.

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TREVIS SMITH, CANADIAN FOOTBALL LEAGUE PLAYER
SENTENCE: 6 years (2007)
CONVICTED OF: Aggravated sexual assault by knowingly infecting several Canadian women with the HIV virus.
COMPLEX SAYS: In February of 2009 he was deported back to the U.S. At sentencing Smith said, “I just want to say sorry for everything.” And you thought Tiger’s apology was underwhelming?

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MEL HALL, MLB
SENTENCE: 45 years (2007)
CONVICTED OF: Sexual assaulting a 12-year-old girl he coached on a basketball team ten years earlier.
COMPLEX SAYS: Call him the Roman Polanski of baseball.

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EDDIE “FAST” JOHNSON, NBA
SENTENCE: Life (2008)
CONVICTED OF: Sexually assaulting an 8-year-old girl after breaking into her family’s apartment in Ocala, Florida.
COMPLEX SAYS: Not to be confused with the Eddie Johnson that used to rip shit with the Sonics.

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MARLON KING, ENGLISH FOOTBALL PLAYER
SENTENCE: 18 months (2009)
CONVICTED OF: Sexual assault and causing bodily harm after breaking the nose of a 20-year-old woman when she tried to resist his groping in a London nightclub.
COMPLEX SAYS: Smash and grab? Where they do that at? The U.K., apparently.

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Six-Word Recap: Complex chronicles a notable sporting event from the previous day in six words.

Yup, Kobe got a new light-skinned agitator! Welcome to the club, Matt Barnes. See below for highlights of Orlando’s 96-94 defeat of L.A. and add your own Six-Word Recap in the comments…

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MICHAEL JORDAN (1990)
JACKED GEAR: MJ had his jersey stolen from his locker room on Valentine’s Day 1990, and had to wear #12 for one game.
COMPLEX SAYS: You should already know the history of switching digits.

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EMMITT SMITH (1994)
JACKED GEAR: After winning the Super Bowl, the MVP had his helmet stolen during the post-game celebration.
COMPLEX SAYS: With the help of a local radio station, the helmet was returned weeks later with no questions asked or charges filed. Didn’t Michael Irvin have a coke problem back then? We’re just sayin’…

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DEREK JETER (2002)
JACKED GEAR: Jeter got jacked for his bat and glove…by his own teammate, Rubén Rivera. The items taken from his locker were later sold for $2,500.
COMPLEX SAYS: Rivera, who was under a one-year, $1-million dollar contract, was unsurprisingly released. Losing out on a milli for $2,500? Yeah, that’s an epic fail.

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SIDNEY CROSBY (2005)
JACKED GEAR: After winning the World Junior Hockey championship over Russia, Crosby’s jersey was stolen.
COMPLEX SAYS: Jacked twice in only a few years? C’mon son, you starting to look like Yung Berg right about now.

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JOHN TERRY (2006)
JACKED GEAR: After a Champions League victory over Barcelona, the Chelsea captain returned to his dressing room to find his custom Umbro soccer boots were gone.
COMPLEX SAYS: Had to have been an inside job. Grimy back-stabbing among teammates? Something JT knows all too well about.

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KYLE BUSCH (2008)
JACKED GEAR: Following his victory at the Best Buy 400, Busch’s helmet was stolen and garage area vandalized.
COMPLEX SAYS: The thief was later caught. Talk about a Busch-league move.

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LANCE ARMSTRONG (2009)
JACKED GEAR: The seven-time Tour de France champion got his $10,000 bike stolen from the team truck after a stage in the Tour of California race.
COMPLEX SAYS: The one-of-a-kind bike was recovered, and the thief, Lee Crider, was sentenced to three years on burglary and theft charges. Dude, you might’ve wanted to pick a bike other than the one ridden by Lance fucking Armstrong.

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HOUSTON COUGARS FOOTBALL TEAM (2009)
JACKED GEAR: Last season, during post-game celebrations of Houston’s win over Texas Tech, field-rushing fans stole the helmets of three Cougars.
COMPLEX SAYS: Despite the coach’s plea (via Twitter) for the helmets return, they were never recovered—though the video evidence above did surface. The plot thickens…

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MIRJAM OTT, OLYMPIC SWISS CURLING TEAM (2010)
JACKED GEAR: After arriving in Winnipeg to prepare for this year’s Olympics, thieves broke into the rental car of the Swiss curling team and took the uniform of the team’s skip.
COMPLEX SAYS: The items were never returned. To the culprit, we speak for sports fans around the world when we say: What the fuck is your problem?

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Six-Word Recap: Complex chronicles a notable sporting event from the previous day in six words.

Kobe got 39 but Wade got the dub as Miami beat L.A. in OT, 114-111. See highlights below and add your own Six-Word Recap in the comments…

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LARRY HOLMES/TREVOR BERBIC (April 1991)
WHO WON THE ACTUAL FIGHT: Larry Holmes
COMPLEX SAYS: Too bad Holmes is too old for MMA because that dropkick was some straight Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon shit.

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RIDDICK BOWE/LARRY DONALD (December 1994)
WHO WON THE ACTUAL FIGHT: Fuck you think?
COMPLEX SAYS: Dude didn’t look too intimidating in his “News Channel 4″ outfit. Hands up!

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BERNARD HOPKINS/FELIX TRINIDAD (July 2001)
WHO WON THE ACTUAL FIGHT: Bernard Hopkins
COMPLEX SAYS: The Executioner just don’t give a fuck. He shit on Trinidad and P.R. while in Puerto Rico promoting the fight. Somehow he escaped the ensuing riot in one piece.

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LENNOX LEWIS/HASIM RAHMAN (August 2001)
WHO WON THE ACTUAL FIGHT: Lennox Lewis
COMPLEX SAYS: Get your shit rocked mon…like Hasim Rah-man.

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MIKE TYSON/LENNOX LEWIS (January 2002)
WHO WON THE ACTUAL FIGHT: Lennox Lewis
COMPLEX SAYS: “I’ll fuck you ’til you love me, faggot!”

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SULTAN IBRAGIMOV/LANCE WHITAKER (November 2005)
WHO WON: Sultan Ibragimov
COMPLEX SAYS: Video of what went down is harder to find than Whitaker’s career after the fight, but the picture says it all. And no, it doesn’t say, “Oh shit, Ryan Seacrest snuffed Alonzo Mourning?”

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WINKY WRIGHT/BERNARD HOPKINS (May 2007)
WHO WON THE ACTUAL FIGHT: Bernard Hopkins
COMPLEX SAYS: B-Hop later claimed the whole “scuffle” was staged for PPV ratings. Next we’ll hear that rap beefs aren’t actually real!

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FERNANDO VARGAS/RICARDO MAYORGA (July 2007)
WHO WON THE ACTUAL FIGHT: Ricardo Mayorga
COMPLEX SAYS: We don’t speak Spanish, but we definitely know “maricon” is some straight fighting words.

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Six-Word Recap: Complex chronicles a notable sporting event from the previous day in six words.

That dude Greivis, boy. He’s a G. See below for highlights of the Terrapins’ 79-72 win over the Blue Devils, then add your own Six-Word Recap below…

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