News Features
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News flash: pro athletes have it pretty sweet. If regular working stiffs get arrested, act like lazy assholes, or use hate speech, we lose our jobs and aren’t likely to find another one soon. But in the world of sports, it turns out that doing a little yay, a little time in the pen, or cussing out your boss will not only get you another job, but a better one!
This week came the news that running back Larry Johnson had signed with the 7-2, AFC Central-leading Cincinnati Bengals after being released by the 2-7, AFC West cellar-dwelling Kansas City Chiefs, who, despite their woeful performance this year, cashiered the former Pro Bowler for (among other things) Chris Brownin’ broads in the club, dissing Chiefs head coach Todd Haley on Twitter, and using gay slurs to address the media. It turns out though that LJ isn’t the first to make a similar worst to first upgrade based on his own fuckery, as you’ll see with our History of Upward Failing Athletes…
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You know what’s fun? Watching other people getting their ass kicked. Real talk—we ain’t proud of it, but it’s true—why else do you think a crowd gathers every time there’s a brawl? Somehow we doubt it’s ’cause they want to be the first to administer first aid. So when it came time for us to eff around and kill (OK, maybe just maim) a little time, we thought, What better way to do it than watch some no holds barred fighting action—no, not high school girls soccer, Mixed Martial Arts.
We don’t really know a rear naked choke from an armbar, so we got Ben Goldstein of CagePotato.com to give us a list of his favorite takedowns, and voila—50 of the Bloodiest, Gruesomest, Limb-Twistingest MMA Dominations of All Time. Enjoy, and if you get too hyped up, remember to count to ten and never, ever punch your sister…
• CLICK HERE TO SEE THE 50 GREATEST MMA DOMINATIONS COUNTDOWN!
There are few gestures that cross all social, culture, and economic barriers, but the middle finger is one of them. This weekend while his Tennessee Titans playing their best game of the year against the Buffalo Bills, Titans owner Bud Adams decided to add the universal signal to the cheer of the home crowd. Adams was fined $250,000 by the league for his actions, but he isn’t the first or last sports figure to flip the bird at a game.
In honor of Adams’ one finger, double-fisted salute, here’s our list of the best middle fingers in sports caught on camera. From baseball to Formula 1 racing, we’ve got them covered, so stick it where the sun don’t shine and enjoy…
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Even the greats make mistakes. And when those mistakes are made by villainous cheats characters with reps like New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, we all bask in their failure. Last night, when Belichick opted for his Pats to go for it on 4th down from their own 28-yard line with two minutes left and a six-point lead, every non-N.E. fan rejoiced because they knew what was coming next—a Peyton Manning game-winning drive, and more importantly, a Belichick loss.
Can’t really pin this one on Brady and the boys, this one falls squarely on the sleeveless shoulders of Billy B. However, this wasn’t his first brain fart. In honor of his blunder, here’s a list of Belichick’s biggest fails…
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In sports, it’s not always about male athletes running off with groupies, hookers or D-list celebrities that look like hookers. Some athletes look for someone who can be a match for them both off and on the court.
Last week, Lakers’ best bench boy Sasha Vujacic scored major points off the court by dating Russian tennis beauty Maria Sharapova,, so we decided to look at athlete couples of the past and present. We ranked these couples based on relationship endurance, success in their sports, and of course the hotness of the female athlete in each couple. You know the saying: Behind every great (or even just middling) male athlete stands a way hotter (and often more accomplished) female athlete…
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Manny Pacquiao and trainer Freddie Roach (right).
Freddie Roach is the man behind the arguable pound for pound king in boxing, Manny Pacquiao. As the “Fighting Pride of the Philippines’s” legendary status has grown, Roach has become the most widely known and respected trainer of this generation. It’s a long way for the former boxer who said he started his Wild Card Boxing club in Los Angeles with $10,000 back in 1994.
Since then Roach has trained Oscar De La Hoya, Mike Tyson, Bernard Hopkins, and even actor Mickey Rourke in the early ’90s when he took a break from the big screen. Roach prepares Pacquiao for his welterweight title bout with Miguel Cotto Live on HBO Pay-Per-View this Saturday, and a victory for his fighter would give Manny titles in an unmatched seven different weight divisions. Roach took a break from training to speak with Complex about why Manny is the best boxer of this generation, his prediction on Saturday’s fight, and whether he thinks a super fight with Floyd Mayweather in 2010 is realistic.
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We were highly, highly amused at the over-aggressive antics of New Mexico soccer player Elizabeth Lambert in her match last weekend. Oh female athletes, you’re just like the guys. *Pats heads of female athletes patronizingly*
But then we caught wind of an all-female soccer brawl in Rhode Island earlier this week. What the bloodclot? Maybe we haven’t been watching lady jocks—we mean other than these—closely enough. So, we went back into the archives to find the gulliest chicks in sports from years past. See below for some seriously brolic bee-yotches…
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Retired slugger Sammy Sosa can’t win. First, he gets shown up by Mark McGwire in the infamous home run race of 1998, and now he misses making it onto our 100 Best Sports Moments of the Decade list because he pulled off his “enlightening” Michael Jackson impersonation a few days too late.
Last week, Slammin’ Sammy showed up to an event in Las Vegas for the 2009 Latin Grammy Awards looking paler than a ghost, like he’d just seen himself in the mirror and gotten scared by how light skinned he was (real chicken-and-egg shit). While we all wondered if he was on some throwback self-hatred or maybe just a really big fan of the Twilight franchise, Sammy’s reps claimed that his new Caucasian complexion was a side effect from skin rejuvenation treatment—which is ironic, considering that it looks like the life has drained out of his face. Whatever the case is, it’s a losing look, so we decided to bring you a history of Sosa’s biggest fails…
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This week we brought you the Top 100 Sports Moments and Top 10 Hottest Female Athletes of the decade. But we all know there ain’t no “I” in team, and it takes a whole squad to get to the glory—word to the cast of Bukkake for Kitty—so we’re back to finish off the week with our Top 10 Teams of the Aughts.
Now we’re not looking for those who won championships but were boring as hell (we see you San Antonio Spurs, we just wish we didn’t have to watch). Instead, we listed the teams that mixed a little excitement with their excellence. We’re sure you have your own list, but you’re reading ours, so without further Freddy Adu…
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Manu Ginobili may be a winner, but he’s losing his hair.
Had we not just finished Complex’s 100 Best Sports Moments of the 2000s (click here if you missed it), we definitely would have included the historic moment when San Antonio Spurs guard Manu “Batman” Ginobili finally acknowledged that he’s been playing with a bald spot for several seasons and cropped it close. Yes, men discussing other men’s hair is precious, but in the NBA a badass ‘do is vital to intimidating opponents, and guys who look like balding old men get no respect. Years back, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Clyde Drexler, and Karl Malone all learned this and shaved their heads. Now Ginobili is setting the example for a new generation. Here are five current players we bald-spotted who should follow his lead…
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