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Take away Bill Clinton’s porn and he gets very, very sexually unsatisfied.
When it comes to genitals, the United Kingdom is not as united as you’d think. According to various sexual studies, 35% of women in the UK “never” have sex. Normally we’d blame this on pasty skin and too much fish, chips, and pints of bitter, but researcher types are saying that porn is responsible for a decrease in male desire—at least the desire to knock off the same old chick when they could fulfill their sexual desires with all kinds of readily available filth online. (Step your game up, ladies!)
Think that’s a crazy correlation? Keep reading to check out some others wild theories that have linked porn to everything from marital bliss to stemming crime…
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If you’re here in NYC, or anywhere on the Eastern Seaboard, for that matter, you’re ready for winter to be fucking OVER. Snow is beautiful and all, and with snowfall like we’ve been seeing it actually makes East Coast skiing/snowboarding enjoyable, but if we decided to “stay in” because of the weather one more time we might just tear our hair out. It’s too cold to go prowl for girls, or even buy groceries. No matter. Fresh from our current issue of Complex, follow our four easy steps to get it cracking with a chick while you’re still hibernating…
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The pressure’s off, Pretty Ricky; the Journal of Sexual Medicine is set to publish findings this week that the G-spot officially doesn’t exist. Turns out that the study’s authors, scientists from King’s College London, tested almost 2,000 female twins and found that the concept of a G-spot is subjective. (For your future Trivial Pursuit games, the G is for Ernst Gräfenberg, the inventor of the IUD and lifelong aficionado of ladyparts, for whom the spot was named in 1981.) The thing is, the study sounds a little fishy to us (zing!).
We’re not saying everyone has had luck finding theirs, but we’ve met one or two G-spots along the way, and we’re not so sure about filing them alongside Chupacabras and Heterosexual Republican Senators in the “Intriguing Yet Fictional Concepts” department. But that’s what the study says, so until it’s debunked by the next study that comes along, we’re calling it a done deal. This isn’t the first time a prevailing sexual attitude was ultimately proven false—oh, no, friends, it is not. And we’re going to let you in on a few others…
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Meat and buns make Rick Pitino hungry for meat and buns.
Yesterday, The Courier-Journal of Louisville reported that Rick Pitino, the University of Louisville’s men’s basketball coach, told police, who were investigating rape charges against him, that he’d had consensual restaurant sex with and paid $3,000 for an abortion for his accuser, Karen Cunagin Sypher. The pretty blond, who’s married to the university’s equipment manager, accused Pitino, a married Catholic, of sexually assaulting her after she was charged with trying to blackmail him for $10 million. Scandalous! Sacrilegious sex, sure. But in the sanctity of a restaurant?! Our taste buds tingle from the shame of it all!
Actually, considering that the basic male needs are sex, food, water, sex, shelter, and sex, it makes perfect sense that Pitino got it poppin’ at Louisville’s Porcini Restaurant. With a name like that, you’d think they’d enjoyed a really classy dining and extramarital smash-off experience, but given all the subsequent drama, perhaps Sypher took offense because it wasn’t fancy enough for a respectable lady such as her. With that in mind, Complex breaks down other restaurants that might be good for an eat and beat. Bon appetit!
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Spring is definitely in full swing, and you know what that means: it’s time to pollinate. But how do you get your ladyfriend in the mood for a wild lovemaking marathon after a cold winter filled with hurried, under-the-covers sex?
To answer this question, we teamed up with Complex columnist/G4 hostess with the mostess Olivia Munn to examine the effectiveness of various supposed “aphrodisiacs.” Should you give your girl chocolate to eat, or maybe some Viagra? Should she drink vegetable juice or some Spanish Fly? Will doing yoga get her hotter than watching porn? We analyze all these methods and more.
CLICK HERE TO READ THE FULL APHRODISIACS GUIDE!
It’s a not-totally-unhappy day for Guy Ritchie; he’s reportedly agreed to a lump-sum $64 million payoff in order to avoid protracted divorce bickering with Madonna. And sure, it was love once upon a time, but now he’s rocking a smile bigger than his cumulative box-office take. He’s not the only guy who stands to leave a bad relationship with fat pockets, though–so we rounded up 5 of the greatest or (would-be greatest) gold-diggers of all time. Get yourn, Bjorn!
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Man, these porno companies are so creative! It was reported today that X-Play is prepping smut-filled remakes of “The Cosby Show” and “Married With Children.” But this time, Phylicia Rashad, Lisa Bonet and Christina Applegate will be replaced with adult stars who live to get dirty.
X-Play has already found success with titles like Not The Bradys XXX given and Not Bewitched XXX, so this latest news is not a shocker. In fact, the company may be on to something. It seems like with a little tweaking in the casting and the premise of familiar sitcoms, some of our favorite shows could easily get a little more dicer and far more (cough, cough) stimulating. That being said, check out five sitcoms (as well as a bonus list of sitcoms we re-named to fit our needs), that we’d make into pornos…
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American people, you have spoken with your ballots, and look what it’s gotten you: a dildo modeled after president-elect Obama. What a proud moment for us all! it’s not the first time a politician–or any public figure, for that matter–has gotten their likeness jacked (no pun intended) for a sex toy.
Hell, 50 Cent used to talk about releasing a dildo of his own, but this is a whole other situation; someone’s getting the shaft here, that’s for sure. Click on for 5 shameful instances of (mostly unauthorized) celeb-themed adult novelties…
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We all know that there’s a price to pay when it comes to engaging in random, unprotected sex. But wouldn’t it be nice to know that the rash/sore/infestation is on its way before you take it back home to wifey? It’s only common courtesy, folks.
The internets have recently been talking about a company called inSPOT that lets you send an e-Card to someone to let them know you might have given them a sexually transmitted disease. Their cards handle the sensitive situation well, but we think we can do better. Next time you’re about to send a BBM that reads “Check your pee hole,” try sending these Complex-endorsed cards instead…
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Ever since women have denied men pussy (a.k.a. “the beginning of time”), we’ve on occasion been forced to find other ways to bust off; for the majority of us, a hand and some lotion is enough (and for our rural friends, the random farm animal). But what to do when you’re sick of jacking off, far from a farm and you really need a nut? Well, you’ve got to get creative, that’s what.
Over the weekend we read the news that a 29-year-old Michigan man was arrested for “receiving dome sexual favors from a vacuum” at a car wash. A car wash vacuum, huh? Very inventive! We’ll just have to add that to our growing list of inanimate objects that desperate men have sex with.
Click here to see our list of man’s favorite inanimate sex objects…
Lisa Ann as “Serra Paylin” in Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?
Think Sarah Palin is scary? We agree'scary sexy, that is! So of course we’re eagerly awaiting the release of Hustler’s new politico-porno Who’s Nailin’ Paylin? starring VPILF lookalike Lisa Ann. And with the news that shooting had begun this weekend (complete with appearances from Bill Orally, Hilly Clinton and Condi Rice), we got to thinking: What other female politicians would we like to see featured in their own gonzo flick? See our wish list below…
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With wi-fi recently getting rolled out on more and more airlines, it was only a matter of time before sex reared its saggy veined head. And now, a union of air stewards is asking American Airlines to look into blocking porn sites on their planes.
We can’t imagine the kind of person that would actually check out Bang Bros at 30,000 feet'but hey, we’ve been wrong before. At least five times, from the looks of things. Peep the five worst possible places where people have actually tried to watch porn…
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This morning, porn star and vintner Savanna Samson debuted her HOT NEW SINGLE on Howard Stern’s Sirius show. It was totally awesome exactly what you’d imagine: semi-competent singing over a generic dance track.
But that’s not really the point, is it? Porn stars ternt sangas are by no means new; music is usually the second item on an adult performer’s bucket list, just after “appear on Howard Stern” and just before “guest star on Two and A Half Men.” That being said, are you really surprised that we went out and scoured the internets for some of these incredible vocal stylings? Didn’t think so. Check out our round-up of musical porn stars.
Click Here To Give Your Ears A Full-Body Freakin’…
Last night at the Republican National Convention, all eyes (and cameras) were on Bristol Palin, the pregnant 17-year-old daughter of VP candidate Sarah Palin. As if spending the evening surrounded by thousands of morally indignant Republicans wasn’t awkward enough, she was also forced to spend the entire convention holding hands with Levi Johnston, her baby’s father who she is now engaged to.
The Palin clan is continuing the great tradition of the “shotgun wedding,” when a woman (or her family) demands marriage in response to an unplanned pregnancy. Check out some of the most memorable forced unions from the last 500 years.
“Are we cuttin’ or what?”
After watching him play a sex-crazed writer on Californication so convincingly, it should come as no surprise that David Duchovny recently hit rehab for his real-life sex addiction.
According to an old Dateline report, over 16 million men and women suffer from sex addiction, yet celebs seem to be the most at-risk population. But really, though: wouldn’t any man with money, fame, and unlimited access to bangable chicks become addicted to sex at some point? We did a little research, and found this fascinating tidbit: “Pornography, combined with regular masturbation, is the cornerstone for most sex addicts.” Fuck! Even us regular Joe’s may be in trouble.
Far be it from us to make light of celebrity missteps, but we’ve compiled a list of famous sex addicts'not for us to laugh at, but for us to learn from. Pay attention.
Click here to see Hollywood’s biggest sex fiends and the women they left behind…
