Complex Blog » Movies

The Great White Hope: A History of Subtly Racist Sports Movies

justinm — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:46:15 +0000

If not for sassy Sandra Bullock, this young black man would be living on the streets.

The Blind Side, a new sports drama based on Michael Lewis‘ book The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game, tells the real-life, against-all-odds story of Baltimore Ravens offensive tackle Michael Oher, who came from a broken home and lived alone on the mean streets of Memphis, Tennessee before becoming a football star. How did he do it? He was saved by some well-to-do white folks, of course!

Not to take anything away from Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy, the good people who took Oher in and helped him realize his potential, but seriously, why do sports movies always have to focus on black ghetto kids going nowhere fast until their great white hope comes along to teach them how to not be illiterate or go to jail? Whatcha tryna say, ~~Hollywood~~ Honky-wood? Black people can’t make it without benevolent whites? Don’t make us call Rev. Al on you! To see why we’re suspicious and steamed, check out these other, pattern-forming sports movies about light-skinned saviors.

Hardball (2001)
• Keanu Reeves plays a degenerate gambler who’s forced to pay off his massive debt by coaching a Little League team of troubled black kids from Chicago’s notorious, gang-infested Cabrini-Green projects. He plans to repay his debt and ditch his players, but he inevitably takes pity on them and stays to teach them how to be winners. No, not even a degenerate gambler bets on black.
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Wildcats (1986)
• Goldie Hawn plays a girl’s track coach at a bourgeoisie (i.e. white) high school who leaves to follow in her famous father’s footsteps and coach football, only the job is at a scary inner-city high school where there are guard dogs! She manages to transform her rowdy, undisciplined black players into a team because there’s no limit to what white pluck can achieve!
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Radio (2003)
• His bald white head beaming beneficence, Ed Harris plays real-life South Carolina high school football coach Harold Jones, who takes in an illiterate and mentally handicapped young black man (James Robert “Radio” Kennedy, played by Cuba Gooding Jr.). By allowing him to work with the team as head cheerleader, assistant coach, and team manager, Jones transforms Radio from a town joke into a inspirational figure. You see, it’s the kind white man who is really special.
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The Love Guru (2008)
• Romany Malco plays a black hockey player who loses his girlfriend (Meagan Good) to a well-hung white French-Canadian goalie (Justin Timberlake) and is aided in his quest to get her back by a white spiritual leader (Mike Myers) who was raised in India and sounds like a Slurpee-slinger stereotype. There is way more racist fuckery in this turd of a film than we can even begin to discuss here, but seriously, a black man turns to a white savior because he’s intimidated by another white dude’s dong?! This shit is implausible even in Bill Romanowski’s fantasies.
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Cool Runnings (1993)
• After failing to qualify for the 1988 Summer Olympics, four Jamaican sprinters try to achieve five-ring glory in the 1988 Winter Olympics as a bobsled team. Clueless about the sport, they seek wisdom from a drunken, grumpy old ice beast played by John Candy (literally, he was a beast on the ice, winning two gold medals bobsledding for the U.S. in the 1968 Winter Olympics before he got caught cheating in 1972 and moved to Jamaica in shame to become a bookie). Yet again, black athletes are so inept that even the lowliest, most destitute white bum has to be brought in to show them how it’s done. Ice cold, Disney, motherfuckin’ ice cold.
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The Air Up There (1994)
• Kevin Bacon plays an assistant coach who goes to Africa to pry Saleh, a tall-ass teenage Winabi prince with star potential, from his tribe, telling him that playing college basketball will make him a better king. While on his recruiting mission, he helps resolve the tribe’s potentially bloody conflict with an encroaching mining company…with a high-stakes game of basketball. Thank the gods for the white man, otherwise Africa would be really fucked!
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Bring It On: All or Nothing (2006)
• Hayden Panettierre plays a cheerleader at an elite affluent high school who’s forced to move to working-class, multi-ethnic Crenshaw Heights in East L.A. (gasp!). After initially clashing with the cheer team’s black captain (Solange Knowles), she shows her new black and Latina teammates how to really move, so they can beat her old school and win a contest to appear in a Rihanna TV special. It makes perfect sense because, you know, white chicks have historically been known to back that ass up.
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It’s Still Racist! Bonus:

The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000)
• Finally, a black man saves a white man! Will Smith plays Bagger Vance, a mysterious caddy who helps Matt Damon’s character find his stroke again (pause) after the former golf star is traumatized by WWI and becomes a drunk. The thing is, Vance isn’t a black man—he’s a ghost! Way to throw black athletes a bone. Maybe next time don’t sink it in the hole.
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Caught On Tape! The Movie Destruction of New York City

justinm — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:17:44 +0000

Go, New York, go! It’s nice to see Cali destroyed for a change.

New York’s apocalyptic big screen fantasies come true this weekend. After cruelly decimating NYC in three previous films (Independence Day, Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow), director Roland Emmerich finally focuses the destruction on the rest of the world in 2012, his tale of the Mayan-predicted doomsday. The greatest city on Earth doesn’t escape, but at least it gets to watch California catch an L.

To better understand why the residents of the Big Apple are relieved to see other cities toppled, watch all the classic clips of New York being destroyed from throughout movie history. If we missed any of your favorites, post a link in the comments section so everyone can watch as it all falls down…

Ghostbusters (1984)
Destroyed By: The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
Complex Says: Stomped out by a motherfuckin’ marshmallow man?! He’s soft and sweet, so what the hell does that say about NYC?

Watchmen (2009)
Destroyed By: A nuclear blast
Complex Says: The movie adaptation was a fail, but we have to admit this explosion was fresh. At least it wasn’t a giant naked blue man wrecking shop.

Cloverfield (2008)
Destroyed By: A gigantic alien monster
Complex Says: We’re not sure which is more nauseating—a monster tearing the city apart or the horrendously shitty idea to show it from the shaky perspective of a dickhead with a flip-cam for 84 minutes.

The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Destroyed By: A storm and tidal wave caused by the effects of global warming
Complex Says: Fuck you, Accuweather.

“New York New York,” Tha Dogg Pound f/ Snoop Dogg (1995)
Destroyed By: Giant Snoop Dogg kicking buildings over
Complex Says: We thought a smackdown from Stay Puft made New York look soft until the city got stomped out by a dude with a perm.

I Am Legend (2007)
Destroyed By: Plague and low-flying fighter jets
Complex Says: We’re actually OK losing the Brooklyn Bridge. The Manhattan has way less tourist fuckery anyway.

War of the Worlds (2005)
Destroyed By: Alien attack
Complex Says: For once, somebody loves our beloved Brooklyn enough to smack it around. Thank you! Hey, we never said we had healthy relationships.

Armageddon (1998)
Destroyed By: A meteor shower
Complex Says: We have a giant explosion we’d like to give sneak racist Michael Bay. Blockbuster pause.

Deep Impact (1998)
Destroyed By: A megatsunami caused by the collision of a comet and Earth
Complex Says: We’re not sure why, but suddenly we really want to line up some dominoes.

Godzilla (1998)
Destroyed By: A giant, irradiated lizard monster and the U.S. army
Complex Says: The Chrysler name hasn’t been damaged this badly since Fiat saved the car company.

Independence Day (1996)
Destroyed By: Alien laser
Complex Says: Alien, priest, or hobo on the A train—it feels degrading no matter which one blasts off on you.

When Worlds Collide (1951)
Destroyed By: Flood caused by the collision of Earth and the planet Bellus
Complex Says: A miniature NYC flooded with a garden hose never looked so terrifying!

King Kong (1933)
Destroyed By: A giant stop-motion animated gorilla
Complex Says: Stop-motion? Nah, our grandparents’ bowels were definitely moved by this one.

X-Men (2000)
Destroyed By: Cyclops’ eye-rays
Complex Says: Hero or not, you don’t mess with Lady Liberty’s crown! That was a New Era one of one, you asshole!

Fail-Safe (1964)
Destroyed By: Nuclear bombs
Complex Says: Though it doesn’t actually show the city being obliterated, we’re still disturbed that the president would trade NYC for Moscow when he could have saved it by talking up Philadelphia’s historic value and appeasing the Soviets by wiping cheesesteaks and Freeway beards off the map. Somehow life would have gone on.

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Caught On Tape! Tony Jaa’s Greatest Fight Scenes

intern — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 20:49:19 +0000

Growing up imitating actions greats Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan, Tony Jaa practiced his destiny for countless hours in his father’s rice paddy, using the family’s elephants as launch pads to practice flips into the river. At age 15, his dreams began to materialize when stuntman and action-film director Panna Rittikrai took him on as a protege. In 2003, Jaa’s big break came with the release of Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior. Since then, Tony hasn’t disappointed, filming some of the best scenes in the biz—low budgets be damned!

Today, the sequel to his breakout film, Ong-Bak 2: The Beginning, finally hits theatres in the US. Need a good reason to go see it? How ’bout 10 of ’em? Below, we’ve compiled Tony’s best fight scenes for your viewing pleasure. Jaa Rule!

Ong-Bak 2, 2008
Tony Jaa not only reminds us why he’s so bad-ass in this sequel to Ong-Bak, he also shows off his improved acting abilities, with crazier screams and a wicked death stare sure to f*ck up any enemy’s combat confidence.

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Ong-Bak, 2003
Anyone bestowed with the title Hero definitely knows it’s time to step in when the damsel in distress gets cracked in the head. Lady hitting is a no-no, no matter how trashy she is.

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The Protector, 2005
The best unedited fight scene ever…nuff said.

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The Bodyguard, 2004
You shouldn’t bring a knife to a gunfight…unless you’re Tony Jaa, in which case you don’t need to bring anything to come out on top.

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The Bodyguard 2, 2007
Note to self: Never steal a shiny, red, decorative elephant from Tony Jaa unless you’re wanting to pay medical and dental bills out the wazoo for the next 10 years.

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Tony Jaa Training Video
In case you’re wondering what it takes to be one of the best action fighters of all time, it includes massive amounts of training. Oh, and a posse of hooligans constantly chasing you around, threatening to destroy you.

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Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, 1997
You won’t find Tony Jaa’s name on the credits for this ~~joke of a~~ feature, but he stunt doubled for the role of Liu Kang, one of the lead characters.

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Ong Bak, 2003
Master the splits, jump over a potential ball-jabbing obstacle (1:42 into the vid) and we’ll give you a year subscription for free, plus overall props for life.

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The Protector, 2005
What would you do if 50 (yes, 50) dudes in black suits decided to attack you one by one? Seeing as there’d be no time to speed dial Mr. Jaa, we’d resort to RUNNING THE F*CK AWAY…FAST!

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Promotion Event for Ong Bak, 2007
At Camp Complex, we bust out this training regimen on the daily with Tony Jaa as our mentor and inspiration. And by Camp Complex, we mean our very vivid dreams hatched in deep slumber.

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Complex Presents: The 50 Scariest Movies of All Time

prubin — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:02:18 +0000

We love fall, and not just because the changing of the autumn leaves is a bittersweet reminder of time’s fleeting passage. Nope! It’s because it’s almost Halloween, which means telling our eight-year-old nephew that not only is he adopted, but his real parents are DEMONS who are COMING BACK FOR HIM WHEN HE TURNS NINE MWAHAHAAHAHAH. Or at the very least it means girls in hot skimpy costumes and giving ourselves a good scare with a classic horror movie.

Of course, everyone has their favorite, but most of you are wrong—so we’re taking this opportunity to let you know what the actual 50 scariest movies of all time are. This might seem early, but you’ve only got a week and a half until the Big ’Ween (ayo!), so use the time wisely and schedule a few movie marathons based on our infallible choices. And don’t come crying to us when you can’t sleep…

• CLICK HERE TO START THE SCARY MOVIE COUNTDOWN…IF YOU DARE!

Crash Course: 10 Things You Need To Know About Spike Jonze

intern — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 15:55:30 +0000

It’s hard to remember our childhood without reminiscing about the mischievous monsters of Maurice Sendak’s Where The Wild Things Are that lived in our dreams. The figments of our animated imagination finally come to life with director Spike Jonze’s highly-anticipated film adaption of the your favorite bedtime story. With the film opening this weekend, put the baby mama drama aside and your boss’ bitching outta your head, and sail into the land of the Wild Things, just like you always used to.

If there’s one person who never left that mysterious land, it’s Spike Jonze. His expansive career has been built on boyish fantasies of skateboards, bikes, explosions, and pranks. Hell, even his name is make-believe (his birth name was Adam Spiegel). With that said, we think it’s time we take a peek into Jonze’s coloring book and check out the most iconic/interesting of the works that have kept him 39 going on 13…

PHOTOGRAPHER, FREESTYLIN’ MAGAZINE (1980s)
• Before beginning a successful film career in the ’90s, Jonze, who spent much of his youth riding pools and nose-picking ledges as an amateur rider, took rad cover shots of professional BMX bikers for Freestylin’ magazine.

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CO-FOUNDER, GIRL SKATEBOARDS (1993)
• After moving to California straight outta high school, Jonze picked up a skateboard. Obviously, he couldn’t put it down because he eventually started his own company, Girl Skateboards, with his friends and professional skateboarders Rick Howard and Mike Carroll.

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WRITER x DIRECTOR, BEASTIE BOYS “SABOTAGE” (1994)
• No one can forget this classic music video from one of history’s greatest threesomes, the Beastie Boys. It’s only one of several that Spike Jonze directed, and a nod to his close relationship with the Boys. Jonze admitted in an interview for Juxtapoz magazine: “After their first record, they never let anybody get involved in anything they did. No one from outside the three of them had any control whatsoever on the music, art, video, or tour, and when the records came out, they did it all themselves…I think that was a big influence for Girl.”

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DIRECTOR, THE PHARCYDE “DROP” (1996)
• Shot entirely in reverse, this classic video from the Cali crew showcases Jonze’s refreshing ingenuity. In 2003, the director would go on to work with The Pharcyde’s Fatlip again in the rapper’s documentary, What’s Up, Fatlip?.

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DIRECTOR, FAT BOY SLIM “PRAISE YOU” (1998)
• From Adam Spiegel to Spike Jonze to Richard Koufey? Yup! Richard Koufey and the equally fictional Torrance Community Dance Group took three major MTV Video Music Awards in 1999 with this unforgettable guerrilla-style video. One question though: How the hell did it not win Best Dance Video?

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DIRECTOR, BEING JOHN MALKOVICH (1999)
•Spike Jonze got himself an Academy Award nomination for this big-screen debut, a cult hit about a puppeteer (played by John Cusack) who enters a portal into the mind of actor John Malkovich. We’ll “meet you in Malkovich in one hour.” You can’t even pause that.

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CO-CREATOR x PRODUCER, JACKASS (2000)
• It’s true—Jonze is a Jackass. It’s only because he actually helped create the show on which he and his friends do a bunch of hilarious shit you never had the balls to.

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DIRECTOR, ADIDAS COMMERCIAL (2005)
• Calling this a commercial is like calling The Wire a cop show. Jonze creates the kind of mini-masterpieces that make you forget you’re being sold something.

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DIRECTOR, FULLY FLARED (2007)
• Who else can turn a simple skate video into a cinematic event? This Lakai shoes team video, which took over four years to complete, won “Best Video of The Year” at the 2007 Transworld Skateboarding Awards. Well, it’s pretty hard not to see why.

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DIRECTOR, WE WERE ONCE A FAIRYTALE (2009)
• What was supposed to be a music video for the Louis Vuitton Don’s “See You In My Nightmares” turned into this 14-minute film, which premiered at the Los Angeles Film Festival and is only available for purchase on iTunes.

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BONUS: WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE TRAILER

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Zombieland’s Jesse Eisenberg: “My Complex” Interview + Video

jerwin — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 21:01:44 +0000

Jesse Eisenberg is that dude. Beginning with scene-stealing roles in Roger Dodger and The Squid and the Whale and moving through a lead role in this past spring’s Adventureland, he’s quickly carved out a niche as Hollywood’s go-to white nerd, but truth is, he’s way cooler than you, or us (starting with the fact that he doesn’t live in L.A.). His latest flick, Zombieland, opens today, and Jesse graces the pages of our October/November issue, offering five contradictions from his life for our My Complex column. Earlier in the summer, we caught up with him at a pay-by-the-hour motel in Queens (Jesse rode his bike), where he spoke on his college course work, his fear of Hollywood, and his Broadway aspirations. Check out the interview and video below..

• CLICK HERE TO SEE JESSE’S “MY COMPLEX” INTERVIEW

WATCH THE BEHIND-THE-SCENES VIDEO:

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The 50 Best Blaxploitation Movies of All Time

prubin — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:12:03 +0000

Just to give you a sense of where movies are right now, consider some current box office “hits”: a 3-D food movie, Bruce Willis in a hairpiece, a rehash of an ’80s musical, and two white people with chin dimples falling in love. You know what Hollywood needs right about now? Some BLAXPLOITATION, bitches! Thankfully, the beloved ’70s genre is poised for a comeback thanks to Michael Jai White, whose new movie Black Dynamite blasts its way into theaters in a couple of weeks. To give the kids a refresher, Complex put together an in-depth countdown of the genre’s best flicks, so you can know what’s really going down. Keep it pimpin’, pimpin’!

• CLICK HERE TO BEGIN THE BLAXPLOITATION COUNTDOWN!

The 10 Worst Movies of the 2000’s

justinm — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:59:19 +0000

It wasn’t all good. There were a lot of awesome movies that came out in the 2000s—you can check them out on Complex’s 100 Best Movies of the 2000s countdown if you haven’t already—but there was a lot of disappointing dog shit too. Not all of the decade’s bad movies were intended for us, of course, but there were a number of flicks that had us amped, only to leave us sorely disappointed like a herpetic jumpoff. Check out the 10 worst violators…

10. Be Cool (2005)
DIRECTOR: F. Gary Gray
STARRING: John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn, Cedric the Entertainer, Christina Milian, Andre “3000″ Benjamin, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

• You know what would be cool? If this sequel to the perfectly playful crime comedy Get Shorty weren’t full of overacted cartoonish thugs that do injustice to the characters from Elmore Leonard’s book. Apparently rap bores 3000 but making shitty movies doesn’t.