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Treating Your Tricks

Halloween used to mean beating underclassmen with flower socks and egging our annoying neighbors windows. Now as we get too old to go from door-to-door, we’re going whore-to-whore with the holiday’s sluttiest getups. We showed you the infamous ‘Anna Rexia‘ costume, but if your chick-of-the-moment is too self conscious to rock that costume, here’s some more options that bring out her inner promiscuity.

Still want more? Click through the whole shebang here.

Mascots Band Together, Stomp Out Audience Members

We’ve always thought of mascots as wiry framed geeks with pockmarked scarred faces who possess a high threshold for pain and humiliation. Well every one has a breaking point. Watch as this cuddly group of animals and child friendly characters savagely beat two audience members for unknown reasons behind the stage. The zebra is especially gangster.

Camouflaged Mini Bar Makes Office Life Bearable

Working a typical 9-5 job can be grueling, but it doesn’t have to be. Although this may look like an ordinary folder siting on a desk, it actually doubles as a mini bar that holds one bottle and a few handy shot glasses in case you want to help medicate fellow co-workers—assuming they’re not the ones that drove you to drink in the first place—too. No need to stress about deadlines or assignments anymore. Most employers would probably frown upon the thought of its workers imbibing in their cubicles, but we see this as one of the most productive and expedient ways to increase morale amongst the cubic-ly imprisoned.

[Source]

James Lipton Was A Pimp!

At some point or another while endlessly flipping through the channels you’ve most likely come across James Lipton’s slow paced Inside The Actors Studio program where the theatre maven intimately interviews actors in a very soothing Bob Ross-like dialogue. Anyway, he made an appearance on Conan show last night and revealed something that we never would expect from a grandpa figure like Lipton, mainly that he helped prostitute women while living in Paris way back when. Watch this and you’ll never look at senior citizens the same way again.

[Source]

We’re Going Coo-Coo For New Cereal Horror Book

We’ve been big fans of breakfast cereal ever since Life’s “Hey Mikey! He likes it!” commercials were blaring in between Saturday morning cartoons shows back in the 80’s, so of course we’re going to like this soon to be released coffee table book: Cereal Killers. It will feature highly imaginative parodies—we’re really feeling this “Koo-Koo Pebbles” mash-up from artist Kevin Schmid—of cereal boxes that are spooky, nasty, and downright distasteful, yum! And really good news, all the art from the book is being posted on the publisher’s blog and the book will be available as a print-on-demand project, so if the thought of icky ink and paper sickens you, check back to the website and get your fill there.

[Source, via]

Does Barbie Window Display Make Home Depot Less Manly?

We don’t know who came up with the idea for a Barbie infused window display for a Home Depot in NYC, but one thing’s for sure, this is no way to appease the usual crop of macho carpenters and laborers. The dolls—decked out in orange mini-aprons—appear to be holding the lines to a radial saw parade balloon while the other toys are decked out in spectator Barbie clothes. We just don’t understand how the iconic toy for little girls playing with a floating monster saw is supposed to get guys to buy tools and hardware. See another childish angle after the jump.

J-Hova Takes It Back To the Old (Testament) School

The kosher minds over at The Real just posted up their latest video, where they ‘Deconstruct Jay Z’s‘ lyrics from his latest track “Roc Boys”:

“Rich niggas, black bar mitzvahs
Mazel Tov, it’s a celebration bitches, L’Chaim”

This clip is loaded with all the good stuff—Jewish stereotypes, Roc-a-fella references, and even some good ol’ fashioned Dame Dash, dice-dancing. Hopefully this doesn’t morph into the theme song for those street preaching Black Israelites.

Weekly Recap: Eat Your Heart Out Ladies

We went trick-o-treating with Anna Rexia. [Link]

Alife and Asics relied on Godzilla for inspiration. [Link]

Agent Zero shot and scored. [Link]

Reebok was in their element. [Link]

A-Ron was left without aNYthing. [Link]

Nice Girl Turned Naughty

Axe continues it’s ingenious misogyny-based ad campaign that keeps us thoroughly entertained. In this new spot, a hot defendant is standing next to her lawyer in court while the judge reads off a long, kinky, and sorted list of charges, in part due to the naughtiness caused by a whiff of the manly antiperspirant. And look at her face, she’s guilty of every count.

Winding Down: Do the ‘Hippie Hippie Shake’

Sienna Miller gives us us ample reasons to consider seeing her new movie. [Egotastic]

Screw getting a costume for Halloween, we’ll just drive around in this “Hauntrod.” [Neatorama]

With this powerboat you can cruise around, water ski, or with it’s teeth chattering speed, run drugs from Columbia. [Sybarites]

Darth Vader might be a Sith Lord, but he still knows how to have a hoedown like the best of ‘em. [Gizmodo]