Paul McCartney’s Sex Bill Way Bigger Than Eliot Spitzer’s
While everyone’s jaw dropped last week when news circulated of Eliot Spitzer’s $1000 an hour romp with American whore Ashley Dupree, not to mention his past decade of hooker love totaling around $80k, many people were shocked at how expensive sex had become. But then today we heard that Heather Mills is set to receive a divorce settlement from Paul McCartney to the tune of $49 million—a chick he’s only been banging for like four years—and we quickly realized how small time Ashley Dupre really was. We don’t care how many book deals, Playboy offers, “What We Want” downloads, or any other lucrative prospects are on the table, there’s no way she’s banking like Heather, unless she figures out how to court Michael Jordan without a pre-nup—he still wears the crown with his divorce costing him an estimated record breaking $150 million bucks.
We heard that LeBron was going to be the third dude to land on the cover of Vogue so we made it a point to check it out. And lo and behold: Holy King Kong! Why not just replace the basketball with a tiny helicopter, Photoshop an expression of abject terror on Gisele’s face, and call it a day? If that was Tom Brady, they’d have him in a Brioni suit with some Ferragamos on. Open letter to Klanna Wintour: even though it’s rumored you 
