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Hip-Hop Nation: If Presidents Were Rappers2:21 pm | Monday, February 15th, 2010


“I thought I told you that we won’t stop? Eh-eh.

Would you vote for a rapper for President? With a few exceptions (Diddy in 2016, anyone?), the answer is probably fuuuuck no. But really, are presidents and rappers all that different? They definitely both inspire the people, even with all their personal flaws. In honor of President’s Day, we thought we’d compare some of the biggest names in rap with the biggest names in politics. Jay-Z claims to be the “rap JFK,” but is he really the rap JFK? Check out our match-ups below to find out…

FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT = JAY-Z
• Franklin Delano Roosevelt is the only four-term president in our history. Jay-Z held us down for eight summers and then came back, somehow remaining on top of the game even at 40. We say “somehow” because Jay’s old for rap, you know, not for the Earth.

RICHARD NIXON = 50 CENT
• Ruthless against enemies. Paranoid. Isolated. An obsession with taping every conversation, even with close associates. It’s not hard to see the obvious parallels between 50 and Nixon—although Curtis probably wouldn’t deny that he’s a crook.

BILL CLINTON = LL COOL J
• Ladies Love Cool James, and ladies also most definitely love Slick Willie. ’Nuff said.

ANDREW JACKSON = GUCCI MANE
• Born in the backwoods of the Carolinas, Andrew Jackson was known as a brawler, who once killed a man in a duel. Gucci Mane has never been scared of a conflict or three and famously killed a man in a duel of his own. Just goes to show it’s a cold world and sometimes people get hurt. Burr! Burr! Burr!

BARACK OBAMA = EMINEM
• Obama broke barriers becoming the first African-American president. Eminem broke barriers too becoming the first white rapper to achieve widespread critical and commercial success. No disrespect to Vanilla Ice, Milkbone, and 3rd Bass, but they were Senators at best.

RONALD REAGAN = DRAKE
• Appearing in 53 films over two decades, Ronald Reagan established himself as an actor before taking the oath of the highest office in politics. While Drake’s acting career wasn’t nearly as extensive, consisting mainly of playing a handicapped kid on teenybopper drama Degrassi High, he’s poised to reach the pinnacle of rap as the hottest new rapper (no matter how many old videos of Jimmy pop up on WorldStar).

ABRAHAM LINCOLN = KANYE WEST
• Around the turn of the century, the hip-hop nation was strongly divided—a Civil War, if you will. On one side, the backpackers repped a return to the realness, and it seemed as if they would never again see eye-to-eye with mainstream hip-hop heads. Much like Lincoln, it took a regular guy from Illinois to unite hip-hop again, getting Jay-Z on records with Talib Kweli and bringing sample-based beats back.

THOMAS JEFFERSON = POLOW DA DON
• With an affinity for the Beckys, rapper/producer Polow Da Don is well-known in the hip-hop world as the self-proclaimed “King Of The White Girls.” Thomas Jefferson definitely didn’t own up to it, but copious DNA evidence has since confirmed that he is indeed deserving of the “King of the Black Girls” nickname.

JOHN F. KENNEDY = THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G.
The similarities between JFK and Biggie are sad. Both were shot and killed while sitting in a car during their prime. At least they made the most of their time, though. JFK has a reputation as a womanizer and knocked off Marilyn Monroe. And they ain’t call Big “The Playa President” for nothing.

GEORGE W. BUSH = ELI PORTER
• Yes, both seem slow—almost laughably incompetent—at first glance. But don’t make the mistake of underestimating either Dubya or Eli Porter, because they will absolutely decimate your whole shit if you get into a battle with them. Trust.

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February 15, 2010 | Permalink
Music | Tags: , ,

24 Comments | Get your avatar here

    • KatrinaME February 15, 2010 at 2:31 pm

      Basically you guys killed it. I love this freaking feature.

    • LikeJordan45 February 15, 2010 at 3:04 pm

      Lmao! This was great, I guess we’ll say Nas was Al Gore…”Had a spark when he started but now he’s just garbage” ha.

    • complex February 15, 2010 at 3:05 pm

      i deeeeed it

    • trace February 15, 2010 at 3:18 pm

      fucking awesome

    • Slime February 15, 2010 at 3:23 pm

      I guess we’ll say Nas was Al Gore…”Had a spark when he started but now he’s just garbage” ha.

      ^^
      Ha ha!!! Co-sign!

    • Malcolm Maximillion February 15, 2010 at 3:35 pm

      HA at the Eli Porter/Bush one!

    • Jayne Jetson February 15, 2010 at 4:52 pm

      Drake/Ronald Reagan!?! Now that hurts.

    • mike February 15, 2010 at 5:46 pm

      good choices

    • will February 15, 2010 at 5:56 pm

      W<Eli

    • Josh February 15, 2010 at 6:41 pm

      haha wow that a good feature.

    • Dayum February 15, 2010 at 8:06 pm

      50 = Nixon, no fair!

      Nixon was geniunely evil, 50’s just the manufactured bad guy..50’s more comparable to Lyndon B. Johnson…did some great things for Hip Hop/America during his reign but the beef (Vietnam) took its toll on his legacy.

    • nate February 15, 2010 at 8:31 pm

      best comlex post to date, lmao@ Eli porter=bush

    • nate February 15, 2010 at 8:32 pm

      ha lmao@ Eli porter=bush

    • Frank Grimes February 15, 2010 at 10:29 pm

      Sorry Dayum, 50 Cent was never good for Hip-Hop.

    • Jacob February 16, 2010 at 12:58 am

      So Kanye is Abraham Lincoln…does this mean that back in the day, Abraham crashed Jenny Lind’s time on the stage to say Lilly Langtree was the greatest singer of all time?

    • bigboy February 16, 2010 at 2:05 am

      awesome !!! loving this comparison !

    • Dayum February 16, 2010 at 5:18 am

      Now thats just hating @ Frank Grimes, he gave us fire music and thats all he had to do..the other shit (beefing) is trifling but thats not what i’ll remember him for. Its the LPs and mixtapes.

    • Dayum February 16, 2010 at 5:19 am

      Not to mention the people he put on and gave chances to, Banks, Game, Buck, Yayo, Mobb Deep (behind the scenes) Maino

    • ddconyers February 16, 2010 at 8:58 am

      eli porter is one of the most clever mc’s in the rap world. do not test him

    • Publishit February 16, 2010 at 2:15 pm

      Dayum – Are you really sayin that 50 put Mobb Deep on???? What are you 9 years old?

    • sw February 16, 2010 at 5:16 pm

      im the best man i deeeed it

    • zach February 16, 2010 at 10:58 pm

      None of these rappers deserve these comparisons

    • julie February 17, 2010 at 2:51 pm

      I agree with zach. this is one of the dumbest things i’ve seen in a long time. at least Hov can run a business…

    • tommylee hayes May 21, 2010 at 10:29 am

      hi there people this is well random of me ! i have been writeing dsong lyrics for 2 years ,maybe longer …? on and off of course or it would be one long song :p .i write hiphop ,r n b ,also indie ,rock and love songs ,i have wrote 75 songs so far i just need someone to help me record them and a good vocalist too . anyone interested ,i know my songs have huge hit potential ,i here songs these days and it gets you thinkin ,what! people actually by this shit! yup there is very very bad music out there these days n it makes massive moneys! so if you wanna help then get in touch ,tommylee hayes ,thats my facebooks name too ,pic of white car on my profile ,thanks !

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