The 10 Worst Movies of the 2000’s
It wasn’t all good. There were a lot of awesome movies that came out in the 2000s—you can check them out on Complex’s 100 Best Movies of the 2000s countdown if you haven’t already—but there was a lot of disappointing dog shit too. Not all of the decade’s bad movies were intended for us, of course, but there were a number of flicks that had us amped, only to leave us sorely disappointed like a herpetic jumpoff. Check out the 10 worst violators…
10. Be Cool (2005)
DIRECTOR: F. Gary Gray
STARRING: John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn, Cedric the Entertainer, Christina Milian, Andre “3000″ Benjamin, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
• You know what would be cool? If this sequel to the perfectly playful crime comedy Get Shorty weren’t full of overacted cartoonish thugs that do injustice to the characters from Elmore Leonard’s book. Apparently rap bores 3000 but making shitty movies doesn’t.
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9. Van Helsing (2004)
DIRECTOR: Stephen Sommers
STARRING: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham
• A legendary hunter (Jackman) goes to Transylvania to kill Dracula, his bloodsucking vamps, the Wolf Man, and Frankenstein only he’s thwarted by monstrously weak CGI. Boo!
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8. Speed Racer (2008)
DIRECTOR: The Wachowski Brothers
STARRING: Emile Hirsh, Christina Ricci, John Goodman, Susan Sarandon, Matthew Fox, Rain
• The guys who brought us The Matrix (then ruined the franchise with shitty sequels) turn a classic cartoon into 135 minutes of repetitive CGI race scenes. Caution flag this clunker.
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7. X-Files: I Want to Believe (2008)
DIRECTOR: Chris Carter
STARRING: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Amanda Peet, Billy Connolly, Xzibit, Mitch Pileggi, Callum Keith Rennie
• Years after anyone really gave a fuck, X-Files returned with a movie that was little more than a murder whodunit. Where the fuck were the alien probes? We want to believe aliens will one day probe us, dammit!
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6. The Spirit (2008)
DIRECTOR: Frank Miller
STARRING: Gabriel Macht, Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendes, Sarah Paulson, Paz Vega, Stana Katic, Jaime King
• We gave Miller a shot because he created the Sin City graphic novel (and “learned how to direct” while working with Robert Rodriguez on its awesome adaptation) but all he did was place the Spirit and his corny dialogue in an inferior Sin City knockoff that no number of hot chicks could save. We were gonna say dude couldn’t direct the weak stream trickling out of his aged johnson, but that’d just be mean.
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5. Fantastic Four (2005)
DIRECTOR: Tim Story
STARRING: Ioann Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Michael Chiklis, Chris Evans, Julian McMahon, Laurie Holden, Kerry Washington
• The sequel was actually OK, but the first chapter had less balls than Lance Armstrong (he has one—do the math). The two hours we spent spraying Fantastik in our eyes to clean out the memory of ever having seen this were far more enjoyable.
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4. The Love Guru (2008)
DIRECTOR: Marco Schnabel
STARRING: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Romany Malco, Verne Troyer, Justin Timberlake, Meagan Good
• These dick jokes were hilarious—when we first heard them in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. And Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. And Austin Powers: Goldmember. Myers, please get off the dick.
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3. The Happening (2008)
DIRECTOR: M. Night Shyamalan
STARRING: Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo
• In Shyamalan’s most “adult” work, an airborne virus causes people to kill themselves. The heavy-handed twist: It’s Mother Nature getting back at mankind! Pardon us while we blow our shit loose.
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2. Jumper (2008)
DIRECTOR: Doug Liman
STARRING: Hayden Christensen, Jamie Bell, Samuel L. Jackson, Rachel Bilson
• We keep convincing ourselves that maybe it’s the scripts, not Christensen being the worst actor ever, but it’s official: He’s the worst actor ever. Watching his wooden ass teleport around the globe we only wished we could get out of the theater that quickly.
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1. Righteous Kill (2008)
DIRECTOR: Jon Avnet
STARRING: Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, 50 Cent, Carla Gugino, Donnie Wahlberg, Brian Dennehy, John Leguizamo
• Acting legends De Niro, Pacino, and 50 Cent finally share the screen for an entire film and motherfucking Donnie Wahlberg outshines them! Seriously, nobody has done more to sabotage their filmography’s freshness rating than PaNiro (15 Minutes, 88 Minutes, The Recruit, Hide and Seek, Gigli, S1m0ne, etc.). They should really fire the chimpanzees that read and sign off on scripts for them.
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RELATED: The 100 BEST Movies of The 2000’s
mistermister September 24, 2009 at 3:16 pm
15 minutes was actualy a great movie.
Black/Cloud October 17, 2009 at 5:44 pm
what u talkin bout ?! this movie aint even on that list … ?!
Daddy Norris September 24, 2009 at 3:20 pm
You left Soul Plane off the top of list.
bigdickcheney September 24, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Soul Plane was human crack in the flesh, don’t ever speak badly of it again.
T.washington September 25, 2009 at 9:04 pm
^^ That sir, was damn funny.
LOLintheLES September 24, 2009 at 3:27 pm
soulplane was so bad that it was good. lol
smitty September 24, 2009 at 3:33 pm
true that. 15 min was the shit
johngone September 24, 2009 at 3:40 pm
more worst lists! everyone has a best of list
johngone September 24, 2009 at 3:42 pm
how you gonna leave off crossover?
hayden September 24, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Speed Racer was one of my favorite movies of last year- other than that- I haven’t seen any of the other movies, so I assume they are shit
bigdickcheney September 24, 2009 at 4:51 pm
What about Spiderman 3?
DBEsucks September 24, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Dragon Ball evolution should be on here instead of the spirit
Chris September 24, 2009 at 7:13 pm
This list is saturated with movies from 2008. Bad year or just bad diligence?
dartagnan777 September 24, 2009 at 7:17 pm
I totally agree with this list… All these movies were complete crap
Joanna September 24, 2009 at 7:22 pm
You forgot to add, “Halloween”…that was a horrible re-make version. LAME!
John September 24, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Seconding speed racer being an amazing movie. I did see it thinking it would be trash, instead I loved it. Other unnotable mentions of 2000s should include Spiderman 3, Push , Xmen origins: wolverine and that last resident evil movie.
YamNo September 24, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Not to defend the Happening since it was a crap movie, but Shyamalan said there would be NO twist. But because everyone expected it, they get all pissy when what they thought was the twist was crap.
Maurice Garland September 24, 2009 at 7:49 pm
damn..this sounds like 2008 was the worst of the 2000’s
Ellacunt September 24, 2009 at 8:26 pm
max payne???
wizzo September 24, 2009 at 9:17 pm
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou should at least get an honorable mention.
Matty A. September 25, 2009 at 12:01 pm
The Life Aquatic is an awesome movie. Watch it again after you get your GED or equivalent from night school. Troglodytes such as yourself should be shot on site for slandering such priceless works of cinematic art.
Steve Bob September 29, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Wow….pretentious??
Just because you value egotistical film making over a good story and entertainment doesn’t make your opinion correct.
I bet you are one of these guy who would sit and watch a blank screen at an art house cinema and then tell everyone how thought evoking it was.
Emma September 29, 2009 at 10:19 pm
It’s “shot on sight” not “shot on site”. Way to go. :p
Johnny Reb September 24, 2009 at 9:27 pm
I’m defending Jumper or anything but that was merely forgettable not truly godawful. What about any of the Star Wars movies? Or Superman Returns? Now them sucked.
Wahoomilko September 24, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Sooo there was only one terribly bad movie from 2000-2004??
willy September 24, 2009 at 10:26 pm
speed racer was one of the best movies of the decade.
c September 25, 2009 at 6:26 am
it’s a dull list! it’s only disapppointed big movies for me
caz September 25, 2009 at 9:18 am
Screw Hayden Christian but jumper was not one of the worst films of the 2000s.
Anything with Jamie Bell in can’t go in that category. Simple as.
heres one of the worst films ever – Hostel. Was that made in the 2000s? im pretty sure it was…that should’ve been number one!
zaphod September 25, 2009 at 9:25 am
i’m not saying any of these movies are good, but overall a pretty horrible worst of list, which is hard to do
Makenson September 25, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I love 15 mins, you cant really trust complex judgement, they have Baby Boy, and the descent as one of the top 100 movies in the 2000s. Baby Boy, motherfucking Baby Boy
Incilin September 25, 2009 at 5:47 pm
The amazing part is that despite the fact that Fantastic 4 sucked, you still went and watched the sequel. Marketing FTW
Hahahaha September 26, 2009 at 4:16 am
Soul Plane should be in this list! It sucked!
Tyrok September 26, 2009 at 6:34 am
That’s a pretty horrible worst list. You just listed 10 well known movies that you didn’t like. Most of those are well liked by a lot of people hence they cannot be the worst of the decade. A true list would be mostly full of movies people have never heard of for good reason.
Remedi September 26, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Top ten worst movies of 08 more like it did! you guys only start watching movies last year?
justin September 27, 2009 at 10:00 am
jumper wasnt that bad…it was only sam jackson tryna b sisqo that fukked it up
rss_ems September 27, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Are u crayz? This is not a good topic.
hkn September 27, 2009 at 4:02 pm
x files was good movie!!
king coola September 28, 2009 at 10:05 pm
the matrix trilogy was the shit.all these other movies suck real big exspecially jumper and that dumb bitch in it.her only line was scott scott screaming the shit at the top of her lungs, wispering the shit, terrible movie with a dope concept.
Avery September 28, 2009 at 11:39 pm
Yeahhhhh
“The Happening” was absolute shit
E Hawkins September 29, 2009 at 11:43 pm
you left off an ample of movies geared toward the black community
jaye October 1, 2009 at 10:41 am
Jessica Alba, Sam L Jackson, Walhberg family and John Lego-my-eggo all have 2. Hip-hop loses thanx to Xibit, Andre 3K, and Curtis Jackson. None of these movies were worse than Daredevil.
JD October 4, 2009 at 8:59 am
Wat was that hairdressin one wit adam sandler??
Black/Cloud October 17, 2009 at 5:47 pm
I`d go for Daredevil too … that cheesy ass costume on ben affleck ass, and then a black kingpin ?! This definitely was a highlight in bullshit – film making …
nick October 23, 2009 at 7:25 pm
A lot of these movies were actually pretty good. Whoever made this list is just going off thier opinion and no one else’. And besides, pacino and de niro are arguably the greatest actors of all time.
Bill Jenkins October 31, 2009 at 12:13 pm
This list is CRAP. I could also say Godfather was the worst movie ever made and believe it as these “worst of” lists are pure opinion.
However, most people would “suffer” through Speed Racer and Van Helsing before stomaching Gigli, Freddy Got Fingered, and a dozen other movies that truly belong on this list.