Great Moments in Hummer History
After announcing last August that they were looking for a prospective buyer for their Hummer brand, General Motors has finally found a suitor for their failed sport utility brand. So who was the genius that purchased the brand which become synonymous with the destruction of our planet and was hemorrhaging cash faster than Gucci Mane at Magic City? We’re not sure, GM won’t tell us.
All we know is that they’d have an easier time convincing the public to buy the new AfroMan album than they would convincing them to buy a Hummer. Maybe they could highlight all the good times the public has shared with the car. Don’t remember any? Don’t worry, we’ve compiled a couple of our favorite Hummer moments to jog your memory…
Hummer Comes to America, 1991
Originally created as a new age transport vehicle for the armed forces, the AM General’s (not to be confused with General Motors) High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle (or HMMWV, bka Humvee) was the most raw and rugged SUV you could buy. Well, it would have been if you could buy it. At the behest of some wealthy Humvees (including Cali’s future Governor), AM General decided to make civilian versions of the Humvee under the brand name Hummer.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Gets the First Hummer, 1992
When they finally hit the streets, the first person in line was, of course, Mr. Terminator himself. We know how happy dude was, but he could have gone without shaking his glutes for the audience.
Master P’s “Bout Dat” Video, 2000
Be honest—when you saw this video, you wanted a stretch Hummer limo for your prom (along with the strippers). And, come on: “Bentleys and Hummers; lil daddy, we bout dat!”
Criss Angel Transforms a Toy Hummer Into a Real Hummer, 2008
Why was Criss Angel always doing magic tricks in parking lots in Vegas? Oh yeah, he’s a douche.
The Hummer Goes Electric!, 2009
What, you thought Arnold was gonna give up his Hummer just because they’re supposedly bad for the planet? FOH! That’s like him not doing Terminator 3 just because he was too old to play the part and the story made less sense than DJ Webstar having his own label. Before GM kicked the bucket, Arnold went to Washington to speak on behalf of Raser Electrics 100 mpg (as long as you didn’t drive more than 60 miles) EV Hummer.
Tina June 3, 2009 at 6:54 am
I never thought Criss Angel was a douche until he dated that Bimbo Holly Madison. NOW i can’t stand to even look at him knowing he was with her.
Any guy he is with Holly Ho Madison knowing she sucked the balls of an 82 year old man is a DOUCHE.
CAlover June 3, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Tina, why would you say that!!! Criss was played and Holly is a bitch and slut!! She was going to use Criss cause she is still in love with the 82 year old fag!!! So dont being saying things about Criss and Criss is not a douche!!!! He is a great person, I just wish that people would just leave there big fat noses out of other peoples lives!! Criss has done nothing to you people, all he dose is something he loved to do!! I bet if you got to know Criss you would love him, so if your going to hate Criss cause he dated a whore then do so that means you are not loyal to anyone and you dont know how to forgive others cause they made a mistake!!! So shut the f**k up and leave Criss Angel alone, all he dose is give to others, and dose great things, I bet to all the people who reads this have dated someone in theirs lives that no one liked but you did cause you saw something in that person that no one else saw!!
Leave Criss alone, and get a life!!!
Another CAlover Forever June 3, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Holly is the one to blame here. I bet Criss wasn’t even aware that Holly showed everybody her vagina. Criss is a proud man and I am sure he won’t want everybody else to know what his girlfriends vagina looks like.
Holly doesn’t want to talk about their break up yet she is still riding on criss angel’s coat tails.
please ask holly about how many times she opens her legs for the men of her past. At least that she WILL answer. Anything else is off limits.
I know the truth - hahaha June 3, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Criss used Holly Ho for PR. His woman is Sandra or should I say his “little kid”. I don’t think she even developed yet.
CAlover June 4, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Hey I know the truth true I bet you havent developed yet either!
STFU!!