A-Rod & The Man-Boob Phenomenon: An In-Depth Study

Has anyone got past second base with A-Rod?

Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse for Alex Rodriguez comes the news that—according to a new book from Selena Roberts—A-Rod’s Yankee teammates nicknamed the juiced-up slugger “Bitch Tits.” Wowwww. Now we really can’t wait for his first at-bat at Fenway.

Still, Alex is hardly the first man to be afflicted with tetas grande. We milked the historical archives of man-titties to find A-Rod’s breast friends. Now let’s take a trip down (male) mammary lane, shall we?


THE O.G.: This is Bob. Bob had bitch tits. He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high and his body upped the estrogen. And that was where I fit…between those huge sweating tits that hung enormous, the way you’d think of God’s as big.

THE CLINICAL CASE: This poor Englishman suffers from gynecomastia, the medical term for the condition which is usually caused by an imbalance of sex hormones. “A-Gynecomastia” doesn’t quite roll off the tongue like “Bitch Tits,” though.

KIDDIE TITTIES: The poor kids that are forced to wear T-shirts when they go swimming. Thank God for gastric bypass!

BREAST RAPPERS ALIVE: We’d include Bonecrusher with Crack and Officer Ricky but sadly, nobody can find him.

MALE IMPLANTS(!): High-stakes gambler and total fucking weirdo Brian Zembic accepted a $100,000 bet to get breast implants. He then wrote a book about the experience. Is it sad or funny that he got better fake titties than the majority of working female porn stars?

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