Wifey Or Trifey: Lil’ Kim

“Yo, is that Siegfried and Roy???”

Tonight marks the return of Dancing With The Stars (8 p.m., ABC) the show loved by all of America'except you, us and pretty much everybody we know. Yeah, the show is a little lame, but we’ll be keeping closer tabs this season, as Lil’ Kim is putting on her dancing shoes. The ex-GF of B.I.G. (R.I.P., 12 years today) joins randoms like Steve-O, LT and Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak(!) as contestants. Nice. We might even catch an episode this season.

In honor of Kim’s debut tonight, we’re giving Brooklyn’s baddest bitch the Wifey or Trifey treatment. Now the answer may seem obvious upon first glance, but perhaps our evidence may sway you. So, is Lil’ Kim a lockdown or a bustdown? Keep reading to see the evidence and cast your vote!


WIFEY: Her face is starting to look normal again.
• You know when you’re really really hungry'like eat-shit hungry'but you don’t eat anything and then eventually you’re not hungry any more? That’s kind of like Kim’s face. Everybody clowned her for getting more and more work done but she’s gotten so much plastic surgery that all of a sudden her face is almost starting to look normal again. Almost.

TRIFEY: But she still has days like these.
• That’s called Nip/(What the)Fuck!?!