5 Reasons We Knew Michael Phelps Was A Stoner

Does this man look like a marijuana user to you?

Over the weekend, pictures surfaced showing U.S. Olympic swimming hero Michael Phelps smoking a bong at a University of South Carolina house party last year. As to be expected, the mainstream media was shocked, nay, shocked! to learn that America’s golden boy apparently has a sweet tooth for the sweet leaf.

But over here at Complex, we weren’t surprised at all. In fact, we’ve known Phelps was a stoner for some time (maybe it takes one to know one). Forget the obvious giveaways (he’s 23-years-old and won’t have to work another day in his life): Here are the 5 surest signs that Michael Phelps was a pothead all along…

#5: HE LIKES RAP MUSIC

• Phelps has talked often about listening to Lil Wayne and Young Jeezy to get himself pumped up for races. C’mon, when is the last time you heard of someone listening to Lil Wayne and Young Jeezy sober?

#4: HE EATS 12,000 CALORIES A DAY

• For those of you scoring at home, that’s just over 51 Slyders with cheese.

#3: HE HAS HIGHLY QUESTIONABLE FASHION SENSE

• Guys who wear their hats like this are potheads. They also tend to be date rapists and very often go cross-eyed later in life.

#2: HE’S BARELY ARTICULATE

• Yes he’s tired, yes he’s done a million interviews, yes there’s obviously a time lag between New York and Beijing. That doesn’t make up for the fact that dude talks like an East Coast Jeff Spicoli with a cue ball in his mouth.

#1: HIS LUNG CAPACITY IS OUT OF THIS WORLD

• OK, this doesn’t necessarily indicate that he’s a weed fiend, but c’mon, can you imagine his inhale-capabilities? It would be a shame if he didn’t smoke weed.