Pop Bottles! The Champagne Shopping Guide

Like Halloween and prom night, New Year’s Eve nightclub parties are often highly anticipated but rarely live up to expectations. If you don’t believe us, there might still be some tickets to Mario Lopez’s party at Marquee. Let us know how that works out for you.

But if you’ve tried the “Premium Open Bar” trick before, then you know that the only way to spend New Year’s Eve is at a house party. If you’re invited to one, great. If not, go ahead and crash the one you hear going on upstairs. The only fee for entry is a bottle of the bubs. Below, we’ve created a handy little guide to the 3 perfect bottles of champagne for the 3 perfect parties. Happy New Year’s, homies!

If you’re going to some rich bitch’s party…

…then buy Veuve Cliquot (about $40)

The yellow label stands out immediately, and you will be commended for your gift and granted open bar privileges all night. At these types of parties the girls know their labels, and the yellow one says, “This dude has class, I’m going to let him drink my parent’s whiskey and have sex with my friends.”
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If you’re going to a real apartment party with real people…

…then buy Moet and Chandon White Star (about $35)

White Star is like the Veuve takedown. Trust us, save the five bucks and go for Moet. It will get drunk up immediately. Most of the people there are going to be mooching, so find the girl who’s party it is and bring this to her immediately. Bringing a bottle of champagne to this type of party says, “This dude has class, I’m going to let him do some of my coke and have sex with my friends.”

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If you’re hosting your own party…

…then buy Prosecco (ranges from $15-40 per bottle)

Having your own party allows you to dictate the majority of the alcohol present, so you can be a little more obscure with it. Prosecco tastes just like champagne, it’s cheaper, and the females present will think you are fancy. Don’t ask us why, but there is something about the word “Prosecco” that makes the ladies say, “That dude has some class. Now where is my underwear?”