R.I.P. Deep Throat: America’s Most Infamous Snitches

Here at Complex, we don’t really condone snitching unless, of course, it’s for a good cause. That said, we poured a little out when we heard that Mark Felt b.k.a Deep Throat passed away yesterday from congestive heart failure at the age of 95 in Santa Rosa.

For those too young to remember, or were too rocked during this part of American History or Social Studies class, Deep Throat was the guy who anonymously tipped off two Washington Post reporters to the Watergate scandal that brought down Richard Nixon. In Honor of Mr. Felt’s legacy, we’ve compiled a list of the most infamous snitches in American history…

THE ORIGINAL SNITCH

Name: Joseph “Joe Cago” Valachi
Snitched On: The Genovese crime family. He was the first Mafia member to testify that an actual Mafia existed.
Consequence: The Mafia was no longer invisible to the world. After an attempted jail cell suicide, Valachi died of a heart attack in 1971.

THE PRIME-TIME SNITCH

Name: Chris Hansen
Snitched On: Potential child molesters on To Catch a Predator
Consequence: Dudes getting completely embarrassed on national television. Many families torn apart. Chris Hansen’s inflated self worth.

THE UNTOUCHABLE SNITCH

Name: LeRoy “Nicky” Barnes
Snitched On: 109 Harlem drug associates, including Gary Fisher.
Consequence: Most of Harlem’s drug lords were locked up and Nicky Barnes was released into witness protection.

THE HIP-HOP SNITCH

Name: James “Lil Cease” Lloyd
Snitched On: Lil’ Kim. After being subpoenaed, Cease testified against Kim’s assertion that she wasn’t at the scene of the ‘05 Hot 97 shooting with her two friends Damion “D-Roc” Butler and Suif Jackson.
Consequence: Lil’ Kim sentenced to a year in prison. Kim’s pre-prison album awarded 5 Mics by the source, BET gives her a reality show and Lil’ Cease still has no career.

THE BITCH SNITCH

Name: Linda Tripp
Snitched On: Monica Lewinsky with phone calls that were recorded without Lewinsky’s knowledge. And Kathleen Willey. Yeah, we didn’t know Billy smashed her either.
Consequence: Do we really gotta tell you?

THE ANIMATED SNITCH

Name: Spongebob Squarepants
Snitched On: Best friend and neighbor Patrick after they both stole a balloon on free balloon day.
Consequence: None. It’s Spongbebob Squarepants.

THE SORE LOSER SNITCH

Name: José Canseco Capas, Jr.
Snitched On: Jorge Delgado, Damaso Moreno, Manuel Collado, Mark McGwire, Jason Giambi, Rafael Palmeiro, Iván Rodríguez, and Juan González in his book “Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ‘Roids, Smash Hits & How Baseball Got Big.”
Consequence: Ruining the Hall of Fame prospects of certain players, bringing about the Mitchell Report and being an overall douche bag.

THE WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND SNITCH

Name: Salvatore “Sammy the Bull” Gravano
Snitched On: John Gotti and the Gambino Crime Family
Consequence: John Gotti sentenced to life imprisonment. After entering the witness protection program, Gravano moved to Arizona, where he wrote a book and started selling over 25,000 ecstasy pills a week with a local white supremacist youth gang known as the “Devil Dogs.” He got caught and is now serving 19 years in prison. He was snitched on. Ha!

THE NEPOTISTIC SNITCH

Name: Jesse Jackson, Jr.
Snitched On: Rod Blagojevich for helping deny his wife the job of director of the Chicago’s Lottery Commission.
Consequence: Blagojevich looking like an extra, extra grimey dude after getting caught trying to sell Obama’s Senate seat. We’ll have to see if the criminal charges stick.