Politickin’ With John Brown: A History Of Projectile Protest
In his weekly column, rapper John Brown'the self-proclaimed “King Of Da Burbz”'will be offering his insight into politics and current events to the Complex readers. Check out “Politickin With John Brown” every Thursday.
Now that’s what I call a footsoldier! This week, the shoe heard ’round the world gave a new meaning to “athlete’s foot” and revived the David vs. Goliath scenario. It didn’t matter that the shoe missed Bush. The gesture sent cathartic humor relief shockwaves through the web'even if the joke’s on us. Although this was one of the most inspiring acts of aerial defiance in recent memory, it’s clearly not the first and most definitely not the last. Here’s a brief history of citizens channeling their inner Nolan Ryan in the name of justice…
#5: FORMER U.S. PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON (Warsaw, Poland)
• There will be yolk. In 2001, Bill “NAFTA” Clinton was greeted with a raw egg on his arm by a 19-year-old nihilist. Clinton removed his blazer and shrugged off the act, accepting it as karma for the stains he left in his heyday.
#4: BRITISH PRIME MINISTER TONLY BLAIR (Bristol, England)
• You say tomato, I say weapon of choice. Shortly after winning re-election in ‘01, Blair was pummeled with a molotov fruit cocktail by protestors unhappy with sanctions on Iraq. Not only did Blair rock the stained jacket on stage, but he soon got his revenge on those activists by co-signing Cheney’s all-out war on Iraq.
#3: VICE PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON (Caracas, Venezuela)
• Before he propelled himself to Top 5 dead or alive worst U.S. Presidents of all time, the original VP Dick almost got bodied in future Hugo Chavez territory. He and wifey were touring South America in ‘58 when an angry mob of commies threw stones, pipes and spit at his limo. It’s been on and poppin’ ever since.
#2: BRITAIN’S DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER JOHN PRESCOTT (Rhyl, Wales)
• Homie don’t play that. Unlike other recepients of raw food attacks, the former boxer and avid pub enthusiast, John Prescott, refused to be a victim. When a local farmer chucked one of his own chicken’s eggs at the bloke, Prescott responded like a footy hooligan'jabbing him with a quick left to the grill. Ding! Ding!
#1: UKRAINIAN PARLIAMENT (Kiev, Ukraine)
• The only thing better than citizens throwing objects at beaurocrats is when politicians throw blows at each other. Apparently surviving in Ukrainian politics invloves hands-on experience in hockey brawls. All I gotta say is legislature brawls > bum fights.
