The Worst Wastes of Money In Sports History
At least Jamarcus Russell’s shoe game is right-side up.
Imagine our surprise when we got the papers this morning and learned that Sarah Palin thinks Africa is a country! Just kidding, we already knew she was that dumb. No, the real shock this morning was reading USA Today and discovering that the Oakland Raiders have the highest payroll in the NFL this year.
That’s right, the same 2-6 Raiders who managed 77 total yards in a 24-0 home loss to Atlanta this past weekend have a total payroll of $152.4 million (by contrast, the Falcons’ total is $96.4). Which begs the question: Is that the worst waste of money in sports history? Read on for a sport-by-sport breakdown…
BASEBALL
• $117 million: 2003 New York Mets, 66 wins ($1.8 million per win)
Somebody drop a penny?
Want to pay a lot of money for a really shitty baseball team? Here’s how you do it: pay Mo Vaughn $17 mil to play 27 games, Jeromy Burnitz $12 mil to hit .239, and Roberto Alomar $8 mil for five home runs. There, that wasn’t so hard now was it?
BASKETBALL
• $94 million: 2005-06 New York Knicks, 23 wins ($4.09 million per win)
The most expensive one-year stand in history.
You can pick just about any Knick team from the past few years, but the 05-06 squad pretty clearly represented their apotheosis of fuckery (trademark pending). The team actually shaved a couple mil off their previous year’s payroll; of course those savings (and a lot more) went directly into the pocket of one-year coach Larry Brown ($10 million for coaching in 05-06, $18.5 to not coach for the next three years).
FOOTBALL
• $58 million: 2000 Arizona Cardinals, 3 wins ($19.33 million per win)
Running all the way to the bank.
This year’s Raiders are probably going to top (or would that be bottom? Pause.) these guys, but right now the Cards have the crown. $58 mil doesn’t sound like much now, but ‘Zona had the NFL’s highest payroll in 2000. And how do you spend $58 mil to get three wins? Pay Jake Plummer $5.9 to throw 13 touchdowns and 21 interceptions.
HOCKEY
• $76.5 million: 2003-04 New York Rangers, 27 wins ($2.83 million per win)
At least Bobby Holik was well paid for his “services.”
In the year before the NHL Lockout of 04-05, the Rangers had the second-highest payroll in the league, a little more than $1 million less than the Detroit Red Wings. Difference was, the Red Wings had nearly twice as many wins.
Re: Sarah Palin November 7, 2008 at 5:52 pm
No, somebody who would believe that and not–say–that she made a verbal mistake, is the only dumb person around.
I’d bet you also believe Obama thinks there are 57 states in the Union… Nah, you don’t believe that one, do you?
It is as if it made you feel superior to think the worst about Sarah Palin. Weird.
Chris C November 8, 2008 at 3:13 am
No, you didn’t “learn” that Sarah Palin thought that Africa was a country; you learned that an anonymous coward with an axe to grind ACCUSED her of thinking Africa was a country. It’s one thing to be naive, but to do it with such smirky condescension is a real feat.
Mariners Fan November 8, 2008 at 5:10 pm
I would like to add the 2008 Seattle Mariners to this list.
Tom November 9, 2008 at 2:03 pm
The genius writing this also probably “learned” from Newsweek magazine that “Sarah Palin” “refused to appear” on stage with New Hampshire Sen. John Sununu because according to Newsweek magazine, John Sununu is pro-abortion. ROTFLMAO!!! John Sununu has a 100% voting record from the National Right to Life. Evidently, the genius writing this piece and Newsweek have a lot in common, to wit: no brains and no understanding of evidence. Maybe this genius has a future in “learning” as a writer for Newsweek.